You have a non-inquisitive mind and are respectful of authority. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you're stupid. Everyone knows you are a f*ckin jerk.
You have a vivid imagination. Often you think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on people and few friends. You fake confidence and are generally a dipshit.
You are an independent type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick tempered and impatient. You'll get yours, you rotten bastard. Everyone in prison is an Aries.
You are thorough and persistent. You are always prompt and work like hell. Your co-workers think you are an asskisser. Actually you are a Goddamned Communist. Taurus people enjoy sex with animals.
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to want too much for too little. This means you are a cheap f*cker and don't tip. Gemenis are notorious for thriving on incest.
You are sympathetic and understanding, which makes you a sucker. The prospect for your continued employment is poor, because you cover for others and neglect your own responsibilities. You will end up on welfare, you stupid shit.
You consider yourself a born leader. Others see you as a bully. You cannot take criticism, and your arrogance i disgusting. Leo people are stinking motherf*ckers and are known to be heavy masturbators.
You are the methodolical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You get bored quickly, and often fall asleep while f*cking. Virgos make good bus drivers, pimps, and Republicans.
You are the rebellious type and have trouble adjusting to reality. If you are male you are probably queer. Libra women are whores. If AIDS doesn't get you first, you will likely die from some other venereal disease.
You are shrewd in business, and shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You suck. You are a prick. Most scorpios are murdered.
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a need to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians practice oral sex exclusively. Nixon is a Sagittarian. Be careful to brush your teeth regurarly.
You are conservative, stubborn, and you have a strong body odor. You are frequently constipated, and dislike sex. There has never been a capricorn of any importance, and you should kill yourself.
