The Guide to Everything

++ You can open those annoying impossible-to-open blister packages with mechanical pencils.

++ If you're going to water your plants with town water, leave it in an open container overnight, to evaporate the chlorine. Plants don't like that stuff. And make sure it's room temperature, not too hot or too cold, it shocks them.

++ Once your socks are wet, you'll never be comfortable. Just take them off and get a dry pair.

++ Wear a hat in the wintertime, it's probably the most important article of clothing you'll wear the whole season.

++ When in doubt, use Google. It knows what you're talking about.

++ When putting in an earring, or any ring for that matter, instead of poking at your ear with the stud, lick your thumb and index finger, or wet them with water, wet where the hole is, and put the stud in. It'll open up the hole so you're not fiddling around at it with the stud.

++ Sharpen scissors by using it a few times on a piece of sand paper.

++ If there is a woodworking shop (cabinets, furniture, etc.) nearby, they will usually give you scraps that are great for fire kindling.

++ If you like to watch live theatre but don't have the money to see it often, call the theatre up and ask them if they need volunteers to usher or something. This is especially good with the smaller theatres of the area. Most times they'll let you see the show for free and maybe give you something else like a free drink or something. Plus, they'll usually be nicer to you if you decide to come as a paying customer later.

++ Always keep a lighter and gum on you.

++ You need a good knife. It doesn't matter if people give you weird looks, having a knife on you will simplify your life 100 fold. There are so many uses for it daily that you won't even realize untill you carry one with you. I suggest just a plain folder, the kind with the blade that has the bump/hole on it so your thumb can swing it open.

++ If you go to a friend's house and you have something you don't want in your pockets, but need to remember where it is, put it in your shoes. Chances are you'll either take them off or they'll ask you to take them off anyways.

++ Don't put your alarm clock near your bed. This will result in you simply pressing snooze and going but to sleep. Put your alarm clock on the other side of your room so you are forced to get up and walk around.

++ Always find the start of a roll of tape. Bite your fingernails like I do? Then you probably waste way too much time finding where the end is stuck flat, then you can't get enough free to pull, curse loudly, and so on. The next time you use your roll of tape, before you snip off what you need and press back down the rest, place something small and flat there on the new end of the roll as a tab of sorts to free it next time. A paperclip works great.

++ Duct tape is wonderful, but it makes horrible packing tape.

++ It's been said before, but drink more water.

++ Send more mail (the corporeal kind).

++ If you've got a bad memory, always carry a notebook and pen with you, also leave notes for yourself on your front door. Or if you're like me and are never hatless, leave notes in your hat. Hats also make good collection points for your glasses, wallet, keys and lighter when it's time for bed.

++ Blank CDs have a karma set to them. For however many cigarettes/CD-Rs you bum to people, that's how many you can get out of other people. If someone wants you to burn them a CD, don't ask them for a CD, give them one of yours. Bringing someone a CD to burn something is a giant pain in the neck. You might forget or never get around to it.

++ If theres something you really need to remember the next day, put a weird object in a weird place. It helps you to remember anything by triggering your memory.

++ Never quote an entire post unless it's shorter than the one you write in response.

++ If it's free, take it. It doesn't matter what it is.

++ Get a calling card if you're travelling.

++ Trust in God, but tie up your camel.

++ A lot of the store brands you see are actually surplus name brands. Try them out and see how they are.

++ If you want free stuff at a movie theatre, just go up and ask for it. Half the time they'll just give it to you.

++ Wear sandals in public showers.

++ Run a trickle of hot water through your pipes when it's really, really cold out.

++ There's a fine line between being altruistic and being a doormat. If you don't know where that is, you're probably a doormat.

++ Always support the bands you like. Buy the CD or record.

++ If you want to avoid getting :rolleyes:, avoid "u" and "r" at all costs.

++ Before moshing, double-knot your shoes and don't wear glasses if at all possible.

++ The consequences and stress resulting from procrastination are ten times worse than just getting off your ass and doing whatever it is you're putting off.

++ Get out of bed, get into the shower, and get your day started. It's far too easy to waste an entire day off by lounging around in your underwear watching Cagney & Lacey.


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