As some of you will know, the return trip from a great holiday destination can be tiresome, and is certainly not ordinarily one of the highlights, however, I had a good book, and I was looking forward to finishing it off on the flight. But when we began boarding, my wife pointed out a guy wearing a yellow Firefighters T-shirt. I quickly grabbed my camera and snapped a couple of half-obscured shots. "God I hope I sit next to him!" I thought.

Well, one should always be careful about the things one wishes for, because, sitting in row 12, I was smack in the middle of a 90 strong delegation of "Firefighters for Christ" on a return trip to Australia after their do-gooding work in Vanuatu. 'Pulling them out of the fires of hell' where the black natives' sinning will surely take them. "Thank you God!" I cried.

Technical flowchart of the saving process from the US FFFC website. Click on it if you don't believe me.

What a trip. I talked with the surrounding 'Firefighters' (they were adolescents mainly) and asked them about their work, such as where the Firefighter reference comes from?

"Well," Kate began to explain, "just as a firefighter bravely goes into a warehouse", presumably to rescue some boxes, I thought, "we go into areas where people are in danger of burning in the fires of hell, and pull them out!"

I was having difficulty containing myself by now, but I let her continue to tell me about their work saving the blacks (the whites having already heard the Good Word). Apparantly they had a joyous time singing songs, cleaning the squat pans at the leper's hospital and basking in the tropical glow of self-rightous prayer.

I couldn't rouse them into a rendition of their camp song, but did manage to photograph the lyrics, as seen in this pic. Click to expand.

I asked them how their message was being received by the people of Vanuatu, and she gladly proclaimed that the natives were very receptive, especially the children. "We attract their attention my handing out lollies, and then...".

"Reel them in?" I offered.

Kate continued to tell me about their trip which concluded with a ride to sunset beach. This was a reward for all of their hard work over the nine days or so. They had bought a new van with money raised in Australia, and painted it appropriately then piled 25 of the group into the back and set off, but after a few kilometres, had a head-on crash with one of the villagers.

"I guess God really didn't want you to get to sunset beach", I murmured.

"Everyone was okay though", she continued "and we managed to swap our damaged truck with another brand new one a native was happy to donate".

An illustration of how accommodating the locals can be. During this discourse my thoughts were with the poor villager who collided with them; what happened to him, and was his vehicle alright. In all likely hood his family rely upon the income he can generate, but if any of these concerns occurred to her, she did not feel them worth mentioning.

I took the opportunity to relate the story of the John Frum cult on Tanna island. I was wholly enthusiastic in describing the evolution of this religious cult which began sometime around the second world war. The details are unclear but the popular version tells of an African-American serviceman stationed on Tanna, who gave the locals Coca-cola, tools and other mass produced 'artifacts'. The cult still meets to this day, singing, dancing and awaiting the second coming of the messianic Frum who promised to bring 'bountiful cargo' on his return.

I have found it always helps to maintain an innocent and happy expression when exposing the ridiculous basis of someone's beliefs (even when using analogy), and I had to smile harder than I have ever smiled before. Still, her expression betrayed an uneasy suspicion, and our conversation took an extended break after this.

Perhaps I had touched a nerve, because during this break many of them took to reading the bible which they passed around like a bag of peanuts.

Here is a pic of the great book I was reading on the trip. I can thoroughly recommend it.

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, and we landed in Sydney and parted company. I am still hoping to get some pictures of their wrecked van, (I gave them my e-mail address) and if i do I will post them here.

Finally, I tracked down a short promo video one of the 'Firefighters' made for their trip. You can view it here.