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DeBlog: Getting Our Spreadsheet Out to the World

June 9, 2006 - A word of thanks.

With google now funneling users to our site, I guess our spreadsheet should be in a few thousand hands (instead of a just few hundred) by the opening. That's good enough for me. I hope the little ritual of filling it out will enrich your world cup experience in some small way. We can't all be winners. But at least we played.

I just want to say thank you to the people who helped spread the word about the Ultimate Couch Potato World Cup Spreadsheet and this site. Thanks to your efforts, a surfer in Phnom Penh, say, searching google for "world cup 2006 schedule in bangkok time zone" gets directed to our Schedule page, where the whole schedule for any time zone is available.

With three hours to go as I write this, it'll soon be 0900 in Vancouver; 0400 in New York; 1330 in St. John's, Newfoundland; 1800 in Germany; 21:45 in Kathmandu and 0200 in Sydney. Red Jr. is about to have a close encounter with Jupiter's Great Red Spot; Mars, Saturn and the Beehive Cluster of stars are approaching alignment from our perspective. And for a short period of time our world is about to become one. And we'll be there. Salut!

June 8, 2006 - The Opening event-thing starts at 1620 CEST

According to the AP as reported in msn.foxsports.com, officials want spectators to be seated by 4:00 PM for the "ceremony that will begin at 4:20" PM — 1hr 40mins before the game. The... uh, 30-minute spectacle will feature women flying to the top of the stadium to escape the din of native Bavarian music and hip hop - no doubt playing simultaneously. Presumably, the parade and speeches follow the spectacle. Whatever. With less than 24-hrs remaining, it'll soon be old news.

Magically, some countdown clocks that disagreed with ours have become synch'ed, pending their demise either at midnight or 1800 hours [CEST] of June the 9th. We took care of ours long ago: it'll count down-to and count up-from every match, and still be counting way after the tournament ends. Like the Pioneer spacecraft that are still "exploring" out there, they will go on forever. At least until our ISP kills 'em. So don't forget to bookmark our Schedule Page.

Hush now ... the fun is about to start.

June 7, 2006 - TOGO MISS WORLD CUP !

Togolese student, Edwige-Grâce Madzé Badakou, former Miss Togo and Miss Pan-African Music Festival, won the Miss World Cup Pageant, pipping Spain and Ecuador by a narrow waist, to earn a convertible and 10,000 euros. With a diploma in bank finance, she should know what to do with it. Rumors are that Eddie Murphy wants her for a remake of Back to Africa. We think there's a slim chance of that so I wouldn't get into the hot tub yet.

Togo, as you know, is that narrow crack of a country squeezed between Ghana and Benin and topped by Burkina Faso, where, according to the CIA Factbook, 51% follow indigenous beliefs. Accordingly, the BBC reported that Togo's voodoo priest predicted they'd win against France and South Korea - and he'd be able to predict the scores two days in advance! Hell, I can top that and prove it by emailing any skeptic the scores two days in arrears. In any event, Togo will not be going home without a crown, so in a way, he's right.

So, will Edwige-Grâce parade in the Opening Ceremony? I'd rather see her than a parade of 170 FIFA World Cup winning players. Not Steffi but Claudia Schiffer will reportedly carry the FIFA World Cup Trophy into the stadium - possibly with Viagra-sponsored Pelé holding the FIFA flag pole. Or not. Anyway, let's hope a cup runneth over.

Uh, anyone know exactly what time the first match starts? Anyone at all?

June 6, 2006 - Rants - computer foibles and macros.

Time was when you could set the return key to move (or not) to the next cell and the enter key in the numeric keypad was immune. Then Microsoft discovered their oversight and ruined a perfectly good arrangement. My version has no preferences to control the behaviour of enter - it always moves to the next unlocked cell. I suggest you set return to not move to the next cell and don't use the enter key. Don't worry, the behaviour is not likely to be replicated in the Vista version of Office because ... everything will change again!

Here in MAC-land, Apple built in a zip'per utility into the OS after the competition caught the bloat bug and became prrricey. Like everything free and simple, it has its drawbacks. You should see an empty __MACOSX folder when you unstuff our zip archive. I think it's a container holding Resource Forks specific to Macs but otherwise empty and ignored by Windows. Just ... trash the useless sucker!

So ... what's the future of this website? Most of it should go away. We might do one again in 2010 if we can figure out how to work the next Office, assuming it survives the war with the google spreadsheet or Open Office. If so, it will be very similar to this one except for one area: the Comment Engine. Currently applied inconsistently, our next engine should decide whether rankings, intra-group points, team personalities, likelihood of qualification plus the actual results of the match should power a comment. Call it a Cascading Comment Engine! [I couldn't resist.] Otherwise, I think we've reached the bloat limit.

There are bigger spreadsheets around - much bigger - with everything from regulations to venues, stadia, and even a list of countries that are not members of the UN but are affiliated with FIFA, or vice-versa and maybe in reverse — certainly more page-tabs than excel can display on its status bar unless you have a screen like mine. Another one requires Internet Exploder to be your default browser so when you click (or mis-click) a flag it will play the national anthem and display the lyrics. No doubt technically excellent and full of information and macro whizz-bangs, they can be a nightmare to open.

Thanks to the magic of cascading style sheets, you can follow our button-clicks in the following sequence of dialog boxes when we attempted to open one:

1. This Workbook contains macros.
   
   Some macros contain viruses that could be harmful to your computer.
   
   If you are sure this workbook is from a trusted source, click 'Enable Macros'. If you are not sure and want to prevent any macros from running amok, click 'Disable Macros'.
   
   Tell Me More
   
   Enable Macros Do Not Open Disable Macros
2. Sorry, this workbook contains a type of macro (Microsoft Excel version 4.0 macro) that cannot be disabled. Macros may contain viruses.
   
   If you are sure this is from a trusted source, click Yes.
   Open the workbook?
   
   Tell Me More Yes No Ask mom
3. Loop: Converting [Graphic] Meta Files. Go to Loop.
   
   Cancel (It's taking forever) Wait Smoke
   
4. Compile error in hidden module:
   ThisWorkbook.
   
   Cancel (It will open anyway) LOL Cry
   

"ThisWorkbook"? It dudn't even know the name of the file it's opening!? Notice we never, ever click the Tell Me More button. We don't really care to know. The important information is in this statement: "Macros may contain viruses." Have you ever paused and thought — mesdames et messieurs — why that is so? Is it a feature or flaw that gives macros such power?

June 5, 2006 - We got hits!

Our visitor count hit three figures today, thanks in no small part to a few people making positive noises. Wait...oh no! I have a pulpit. I smell a rant bubbling up from deep inside. I can't resist. I must; hold back a day or two. Maybe it'll pass. The hits will go away anyway when the tourney starts — unless, that is, you're as hypnotized by our Schedule page as I am. Yes, I find myself staring at it like so: ( o )( o ).

Maybe you haven't seen the ":: Counting Down ::" message become "THE WORLD CUP STARTS TOMORROW" after months of immobility as I have when we gave it an 86-day lead for a beta test so long ago that I can hardly remember. Suffice to say, I'll be as surprised when it does work (if it does work) as when it worked then. Especially after all the time it spent not working. Dunno even how I did it. Apologies to old browser users for my inability to make it work for them.

Unfortunately we don't really know if the first match will start at the designated time so we may upload a correction live, which would spoil the effect of going ( o )( o ) when the page reloads and the little ball appears and triggers an unexplainable adrenaline rush.

I'm kidding myself. Only bots read this cra...er, crass blog. Users read the Guide, stab the download button, read about the Models and maybe peruse the Schedule. And they're gone, leaving little tracks on our StatCounter log with flags from surprising places. Well, today the stats made me go (o  )(  o)! Even so, as a percentage of people who will tune in to the World Cup, our stats round out to, uh ... zero.

June 4, 2006 - Oops! Vs. 2.1 Uploaded.

Thanks to Pete L. who tells us that we were showing the wrong days for the final matches. A quick check revealed three dates were set to year 2005 instead of 2006, thus showing the wrong day of the week. The Playoff for Third Place is on a Saturday, and the Final is on Sunday (Berlin time). Hence a Bug Fix Release (called Version 2.1) is the latest version.

June 3, 2006 - Endorsements!

We're still difficult to find on the web. Depending on search terms used, you might find us on the first page of Yahoo! Search but nowhere still on google. Well, we just spotted an endorsement from Jungle Pop:

Okay, this one looks like it takes the cake. It's got seven different pages, giving you stuff like background info on each team, a birds-eye overview page as well as detailed group and elimination stage pages. This thing is sweet - and will be the one I'll be using this summer.

Surely someone with a nick' or blog named Jungle Pop must be in the know, eh? Thing is, he didn't find us; we found him [sheepish emoticon goes here].

Elsewhere today, someone commented more succinctly - no doubt inspired by the exhuberance of youth or discovery - which we quote below after some tactful editing for parentally-controlled browsers:

That's [ coiting ] BRILLIANT. Much much cooler than the original spreadsheet I posted. [His capitalization].

Well, thanks for the comment! (But how did you find out we could coit brilliantly?)


Australians are lucky to have TV coverage from SBS - the uber-multicultural free-to-air public tv station. You'll find their schedule on this page - with coverage starting 30-minutes before live match times. Simultaneous group matches - the last two of any group - will be telecast in series. Avoid our Schedule page if you don't want to know the results in advance.

Interestingly, their Countdown to Germany timer is one of the few that agree with the countdown script in our Schedule page. Ours, of course, counts down to every match then up 120-minutes for each match. And you'll know you're missing it if you see the ball to the left of the date column.

I think the 2002 coverage was split between SBS and a commercial channel. The latter showed a few matches deemed to be of high interest while SBS covered, thankfully, everything else. It's a no-brainer to figure out who provided the better service - or support for the sport in earlier years.

June 2, 2006 - Final Release (Vs.2.0) Uploaded.

Thanks for your patience. Send me a note if you find anything amiss.

May 31, 2006 - Welcome, World!

Welcome, Jiangsu and HongKong (zhemme yang'a?), Hiroshima (mou sugu dakara mou sukoshi o-machi kudasai!), Norway, Singapore, Mexico (dime, tenemos confianza o no?), United Kingdom (blimey, so many of you!), France (allez, allez!), Switzerland, Denmark, Sweden (Carola, du är oövervinnlig)...and those in the rest of the world who are hitting this humble little site! (Come on Aussie, c'mon, come on.) Welcome, Time-Warner (what's with all them page-loads: bots?), Lehmann Bros. (need a spreadsheet?) and all those .edu sites (professors or students?) and telecom companies.

Thanks to the few search engines that carried us (Yahoo) or to the friends that emailed you our link (or spreadsheet). Whoever you are and wherever you are: Are...you ready? I say again: Are you READY!!?? Good, 'cause I'm not. I need a few of days to debug and clean up the monster. Geeze, I can't wait for it to start ...and end! Then I don't want to see you till oh-ten, K?

May 29, 2006 - Progress Report on Version 2.0

A short progress report and road map on Version 2.0 of spreadsheet is on the Downloads Page. Not everyone reads this stuff and I don't blame them [imagine silly smiley here].

May 28, 2006 - Do you suffer from M.I.D.* too?

I've been asked a number of times who I'll be rooting for in the World Cup, so let me explain it here once and for all. On the right is the Welcome Page of my spreadsheet. I've already taken into account the automatic ranking system that adds stars to matches with highly-ranked teams and closely-ranked pairings.

So, I have for adopted country, and by blood, for the kids, by regional proximity, and because who doesn't watch the FA Cup? I want to see why the , and are so highly-ranked (the numbers on the left), because they always entertain, because the hosts are cool, and for friendship.

I want to watch , , and the n style of play, because no one wants to see them get creamed like the last time, and because... well, who dudn't like Elephants?

Oh, I must give a few to and too because of the girls in the stadium (just kidding). So who do I want to see win? Frankly, I don't care. I plan to watch and root-and-hoot for 'em all depending on what they do. That's not a cop-out. I suffer from *Multinational Identification Disorder — I'm not a flag-waving kind of guy. Just don't flame me for my choices, OK?

Oh, and email me if you decoded my personal preference from the above.

May 27, 2006 - We wuz tired! *

So, is Rooney playing? I sure hope he recovers in time. Speaking of which, have you checked how long the teams have for Rest-&-Recuperation between Group Stage matches? The vagaries of the schedule, the little reshuffles to suit remote time zones, and even the simultaneous staging of the last Group Stage matches conspire to mess things up.

Argentina and Ivory Coast get a total of about 262 hours of rest in their two breaks; Costa Rica, Germany, Poland and Ecuador get above 250 hours; but Spain, UK, Brazil, Croatia, Tunisia and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia get under 215 hours — a day and a half less! Germany has 137 hours of R-&-R between matches 2 and 3, Spain will only get 89!

Let's look at the group distribution: the average R-&-R period is 258 hours for Group A, 253 for C, 243 for B & G, but Group H's R-&-R average is 214 hours — almost two days less than A's! Hard luck for H. Group F is hardly better: 229 hours or a day and 5 hours less than A's. Of course, that only comes into play after the Group Stage.

So let's see the group pairings: B averages 15.5 hrs less rest than A, and D has 18.5 hrs less than C. F rests 5.5 hrs less than E, but hard luck H will battle G with an average 29 hrs deficit in rest. So there you have it: should Spain exit early in the Eliminations Stage, they have an excuse: *Estábamos cansados.

May 26, 2006 - Australia's run continues!

More important than the slim 1-0 victory against European Champions Greece in the just-played friendly, Australia demonstrated it could play a classy game of football, thanks no doubt to coach Gus Hiddink. Well Gus, let me take this chance to remind you to check the assistant referees' flags before your match with Croatia. If the orange is too reddish and the yellow too light, the flags could be mistaken for Croatian cheerleading equipment. Wait a minute ... er, just how many Australian players [and vice-versa] are Croatian?

May 25, 2006 - More on the Revised Model

Don't miss our updated-in-advance Models Page with a description of our upcoming revised 3-model spreadsheet. We've included a graphic example of how models differ and matter, as well as a short story on why FIFA changed the regulations: a butterfly flapped its wings!

May 24, 2006 - Did you watch the Spectacle?

No doubt you've seen the warm up spectacle for the World Cup. No, no... I'm not talking about the Champions League final in Paris, although that was rivetting enough. Poor ref' - he was brave enough to ruin the match by sticking strictly to the rules. What a painful decision!

No, I'm talking about the other grand and more recent final: Eurovision 2006 - a political wunderkind spectacle. Lordi's win (Finland - 292 points) was well deserved in the spirit of the meet, but did the UK deserve a 19th place finish with only 25 points? Well, it's not because the song was written in thirty seconds four years ago, they're a bit down in the popularity stakes and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Suffice to say that Israel came second-last thanks to 4 points from France, pipping a hapless Malta by 3. France got 5 points to finish just above Israel. Serbia and Montenegro withdrew after they couldn't decide on whether to field a Serbian or Montenegrin. What...no mixed performers?

So ... expect less support for England and France from recent-Europeans in the World Cup, and some internal tension in the S & M camp. See? It's all in the ties that bind - what a world!

May 23, 2006 - More on feedback

More from Kevin H., in case you were wondering about why we are going to all this trouble. Quote:

I am very surprised to hear you have not gotten any feed back. This is by far the best World Cup tracker I have seen! So far I haven't nor my friends in three time zones have been able to find anything amiss.

And the funny part about it is that only a few know about it thanks to its disappearance from google. Well, it was made primarily for friends and family, but if you have friends and family that would enjoy the best world cup tracker, then spread the word. There isn't much time left.

May 22, 2006 - Spreadsheet mods are happenin'

Currently reordering the spreadsheet to conform to this website's schedule page. For the change in regulations, it's a question of changing the trigger for mini-groups from overall group points alone to include goal difference and goals. Fingers are crossed that you'll see an updated spreadsheet before the tournament starts. Thanks to Chris Bird for the heads up and perfect explanation of what was required. There may even be time for improving the comments.

May 20, 2006 - HORROR OF HORRORS!

Chris B. says FIFA has changed the Regulations again. Head to Head will apply after Group Stage Points, Goal Difference and Total Goals in the Overall Group! Download it and see for yourself on page 40.

Our spreadsheet is perfect no more under certain tied conditions. We're considering the matter carefully ... sweating and biting our nails ... facing the Herculean task of making modifications.

Why did FIFA change the Regulations so late in the game so to speak? I dunno, but a Spanish expletive comes to mind: Pa' jodeh, coin', pa' jodeh! Best left to your worst imagination, I wouldn't bother running that through the Babel Fish Translator; it's the phonetical spelling of a heavily-accented cry of despair befitting the sentiment.

May 19, 2006 - We got feedback!

Kenny C. tells us the spreadsheet looks good but only works partially in Open Office. Regretfully, I don't have Open Office and so I can't port it over.

Kevin H. tells me he's sent it to some friends (thanks for that) and they particularly liked the comments section in the Group Stage and the Overview section. All I can say is that I'm tickled pink.

May 14, 2006 - So...have you tried our spreadsheet yet?

We're curious because practically no one has given us any feedback. A read of our web-stats indicate the download and schedule pages are popular, with people coming into the site via the keywords spreadsheet and tv schedule. Here's a hint on tv-schedules: they should be LIVE in this age of instant information. Would you watch a delayed match if you knew your favourite team got slaughtered? Of course not, you'd spare yourself the pain. So LIVE it is, and look no further because our Schedule page will give you the times in your time zone for all matches so it's as good as any tv schedule!

Only problem is, the final matches in a group take place simultaneously for competitive reasons. In this age of instant information, it's a safe bet that coaches will know instantly whenever a goal is scored in the other match, but don't expect the tv stations to inform you if those matches are telecast in series.

May 12, 2006 - Is there an Opening Ceremony for the World Cup?

No and yes. No because it's been cancelled because of rising costs; yes because can you imagine any politician being held back from making a speech? Oh, an artistic director was hired but dismissed with thanks after the budget reached a rumored 17 million euros (they're spending almost double that on cultural events throughout the tournament). Take a minute and think about what he could have come up with...certainly a Heller of a show.

17 million euros is peanuts for a participating sponsor given the worldwide coverage of an opening ceremony. Imagine a fleet of [insert your favorite German automotive brand here] painted in the colours of the various flags. I'm speaking in jest, of course.

And on that vein...one problem is that no one but a politician would want to hear a politician speak—and that would be him or herself. Now, if it were...say, Steffi Graf, for example, that would set a different mood: "Welcome to my country...!" Thus said, I imagine she would run a dozen steps to kick a soccer ball through some paper banner, which would disintegrate in fireworks and smoke out of which 32 white but lightly cooked doves would escape for their lives. Barely. Oh well, there's the Beijing Olympics to look forward to.

So, someone will have to officially declare the tournament "open," and that might be the extent of the opening ceremony. How long will that take? We're concerned because we have a match countdown and countup script, and we doubt if the first match will start at precisely 1800 hours German time—1805 or 1830 is more likely. I can't imagine Germany not scripting the opening to the second, so if you know, drop us a line.

May 10, 2006 - We're baack! Google, where art thou?

Back from an extended trip examining the possibilities of tweaking the spreadsheet. The hits and downloads are happening—and that's despite Google banishing us from the web for some unknown reason. It was all google at the start but now we get NO referrals from google at all. Dudn't matter; we're getting them from Yahoo and others. And Yahoo is hosting the FIFA sites! What's up with Google? Who knows...but I've got a lot more respect for Yahoo Search now.