Snippetry

Don't expect any of this stuff to be good. Take it all as jokes, and you'll be fine.

Pooetry

'Twas the night before Cub-bash, a silly little thing
Ode to the oscilliscope" - this isn't actually a topic I'm qualified to discuss, but I found myself fitting the word "oscilliscope" into the tune of "O Christmas Tree", and thought I may as well finish the job.

Jokes

Be afraid. My jokes are bad, and I'm going to inflict some of them on you here.

Suffer!

Q: What do you say before you put money into a telescope at an observation point?

A: Power to the peep-holes!

Q: Why did the nun in steel robes fall over?

A: Force of habit!

Q: What do you call the algorithms that drive the internet?

A: Al-gore-ithms!

Note: While checking that the "I invented the internet" quote actually came from Al Gore for this joke, I discovered that this apparantly didn't happen at all. Salon and Some site I've never heard of before have the story. A google search for '"al gore" invented internet' should find you plenty of other folks saying likewise

Some "songs"

To to the tune of "Twinkle twinkle little star"

Twinkle twinkle little piss,
How I wonder that you miss,
On the floor or in the bowl,
Who did spray it which poor soul,
Twinkle twinkle little piss,
Who's the one who just did miss.

To the tune of "Jingle bells"

This one was written after I was required to move stuff around before our house was photographed. The amount of work that had to be done so that some pictures could be taken was astounding.

Working hard
Working hard
Working hard today
O what fun
It is to work
As a slave for zero pay
Hey!

This page was last updated on Sun Nov 16 23:22:18 2003 by Iain McCoy. Have a nice day!

All pages on this site should be , and all formatting should be