october 2nd, 2005
dx/dy = criminal.
new TV show "Numb3rs", spelled with a 3 instead of an
e in a delicious play on words (or numerals, as the case may be)
is teaching me a very, very valuable lesson. Criminals are much
smarter than me.
I'm a pretty smart guy. On a scale of Paris Hilton to Stephen Hawking,
I'm around about James Wood. That's not too shabby, all things considered.
But I must say, I would never be able to logically construct a pattern
of criminal activity based entirely on mathematical formulae. I'm
just not wired that way. But according to this show, beneath the
tattoos, scruffy facial hair and penchant for stealing televisions
of every criminal lies a brain far more powerful than your or my
feeble law abiding minds.
basic premise behind the show
is that every criminal works to a mathematical pattern. The things
they do, say, or leave behind can be explained with simple equations.
Now this is where it gets fun. In shows like CSI you get to see
blood splatters, matching bullets, and the occasional wise crack
from that delightful David Caruso. In Numb3rs, they use math
to come to conclusions as to who killed poor old Mrs. Glick. Which
would be an excellent premise, if only there was some exciting and
entertaining manner in which to scribble a bunch of garble on a
they haven't gotten to the "chrome whiteboard" episodes
yet, and so it's all still very vanilla. I trust, however, that
once they break out the gold textas the series will take a raunchy
new twist. It'll be maths... with pep!
must say, however, that it's awfully nice of modern criminals to
give investigators a bit of a kick start in capturing them and bringing
them to justice. I'm assuming they work to some kind of Criminal
Code of Ethics in which a criminal must leave clues, just to keep
the game fair. A bit like an instruction manual. God knows I hate
it when I have to construct furniture from Ikea without the construction
Joining Ö to ß is so much easier when I have those guides.
just think! Modern day prisons are brimming with geniuses! I bet
if we put 1000 criminals in a room with 1000 typewriters they could
knock out the complete works of William Shakespeare in under
30 minutes. Take that, you flea ridden monkeys.
here to tell me how much you hated this article.
crap is in the archives. Go take a look
if you like.