After our arrival in Koh Samui we checked into a place called New Hut which was some very cheap, very basic accommodation right on the beach. This was perfect for us as we were only spending 1 night in Koh Samui. Like typical westerners, a quest for McDonalds began for lunch, and only ended after the group had savoured the double Big Mac aka the Mega Mac.
After leaving Macca's, Ev Mo was propositioned by a middle aged Thai lady who was attracted to Ev's natural abundance of body hair, and the fact he was rubbing sunscreen into his nipples. When Ev Mo stood looking at her with one hand on his hip she said, "Are you a lady boy? Why are you standing like that? I don't like lady boys." Shortly after this, we came across the following Thai bar:
With our energy restored from a feed of Macca's, we then walked to Grandfather and Grandmother rock. These rocks are named as such because one looks like a penis (more like a chode) and the other looks like a pussy. This was one of the moments we had been waiting for since beginning planning this trip, as it would mean 2 chodes would be in the same place at the same time. It was with some trepidation that we approached as we were unsure if the world would implode when Sao and the grandfather rock came in contact. Fortunately the world did not implode and we were able to take the following juvenile pictures:
After this momentus event we death marched in some insane heat conditions en route back to New Hut. With the temperature reaching 40 degrees plus, we had to stop at a bar for some drinks. On the way we saw some tourist kitted out in full training gear running on the side of the road and had to think to ourselves "what the fuck is this guy doing?"
Back at New Hut in the evening, Blai gave birth to his Ass-Baby. To the surprise of us all, Blai delivered Siamese Ass-Baby twins who were successfully separated after birth. By all accounts it was a messy water birth, but luckily the offspring are in good health. Blai chose to name them K Ci and Mojo. After this excellent news, Paul and I composed a song dedicated to the twins (to be sung to the tune of Soul to Squeeze by Red Hot Chilli Peppers):
(VERSE 1)
I got a bad disease,
Up from my arse is where I bleed
Immodium it seems...
Has made it hard to colon squeeze.
(CHORUS)
Where I go I just don't know,
I got to find somewhere to let this blow
When I find my porcelain shrine
I will be giving birth to Mojo Lai.
(VERSE 2)
No turbo sharts for me,
I've got an extra mouth to feed
I'm deep in pregnancy...
This could be my ass destruction
(BRIDGE)
Take me to the toilet when I need to go
I'll be pushing real hard just to let it flow.
Fee me lots of fibre, give me plenty more
I'll be pushing hard (pushing hard) out my backdoor.
(CHORUS)
Where I go I just don't know,
I got to find somewhere to let this blow
When I find my porcelain shrine
I will be giving birth to Mojo Lai.