4
JON: Evidently we must have done a good job of The
Bert Newton Show because we were upgraded to flying home to Sydney instead
of the second-class Pioneer bus. The two major airlines that Australia had then
were TAA and ANA and their top planes were Lockhead Electras and Vickers
Viscounts, both turbo-prop aircraft. Melbourne was nearly two hours away from
Sydney in these aircraft and the fare was eighteen pounds, four shillings,
return. We were paid £20 each for these shows. Thank God we didn’t have to pay
our own fares!
We didn’t have time to stay in Melbourne. We
had to come home the same night because of an early rehearsal at Channel 7 for Teen
Time. This particular Monday the other artist on the show besides Dig was
Dale Wayne so we had to rehearse his songs. Rehearsals were always in Studio X,
downstairs, and then we would do the show live to air in Studio B. Unfortunately,
there were no video tapes kept of Teen Time.
The next two
weeks was a typical and quite busy time for us. On the Wednesday night the
R‘Jays had a regular dance at Cabramatta Civic Hall. This was always a good
night, always packed and not too far from my home in Strathfield. I still
hadn’t got a car yet! The other people on at the dance with us were Kitten
Dwyer, a country & western girl singer trying to sing rock’n’roll and a
band called Flame & the Firey Five.
One night at
this dance an incident occurred which showed a side of Dig’s nature not yet
seen by anyone. There was a guy, one of our semi-regulars, who every week
seemed to have something smart to say either about Dig or the band: “How come
youse get all the sheilas? What’s so great about you lot? You’re just a bunch
of pooftas, especially that Dig Richards!” We used to let these comments slide
because this guy looked a bit too tough; in fact, he was an ex-boxer from
Canberra. But the “poofta” bit finally got us pretty mad, especially Dig Richards.
At the end of the dance, Dig politely invited the pugilist outside, took him
across the road to the park and, to the surprise of everyone, beat the shit out
of him!
Dig became the idol of all the
Cabramatta bikies who were watching this debacle. Nobody ever dared to suggest
bashing up the band from then on!
There were the usual bunch of
girls who used to follow us to every show in Sydney. Two I remember very well –
Beverly Boberidge, our fan club president, and her girlfriend, Rhonda V. Moore.
The ‘V’ was for virgin because no matter how we tried, Rhonda guarded her
virginity! She later married Col Loughnan from The Crescents and lived happily
ever after. Bev’s place at Leichhardt became one of our favourite after work
‘crash pads’.
I’ll mention the money we got.
In those times, the singer always got more money than the band members but the
money we made was pretty good when you consider that when I left Gowings I was
making £5 a week! My father, who was the manager of a company, was only making
£35 per week. For Teen Time we made 6 guineas (£6/6/-) each and for
Cabramatta dances we made 6 pounds, 5 shillings (£6/5/-). Many times our
earnings would depend on the success or failure of the dance. Still, I’d only
done about five hours playing and I was ahead of Gowings already. Some weeks we
could net well over £100, which was a lot more than your average clod in the
late fifties. Mind you, in those days money meant nothing to us. We were in it
for the glory, mate! I spent it like it was nothing. I’ve no idea where it went
and I don’t care. Anyhow back to those busy two weeks in November 1959.
Thursday night: Newcastle
Stadium! Now that’s enough to scare the crap out of you, isn’t it? Well it was
for Peter. He was so nervous he’d gone green! I had to push him out on stage.
Also on the show were The Toppers, Johnny Byrell, Danny Shaw (a very fine
impressionist – “Mr. Cooper, d’ya know what we do to horse thieves in
Californy?” a la Walter Brennan), The Allen Brothers, Peter Allen and Chris
Bell with their ‘stage father’, Mr. Bell – “That’s lovely boys!”, Lonnie Lee,
who at the time had one of the best voices and could always sing up a storm and
Warren (Wokka) Williams, one of the nicest guys in the business.
There was also Johnny Devlin
& the New Devils, who were not quite as good as the original Devils. They
had some really good musos in that band; Ron Martin for instance, an excellent
bass player and crazy person, who played with us on Noeleen Batley’s Barefoot
Boy. Incidentally, I was in love with Noeleen, but
she only had eyes for that degenerate Dave Bridge! Dave was the guitarist in
the other band for the show Col Joye & the Joy Boys. For this huge venture
we were paid £20 but it was one of our first really exciting experiences.
Especially for Leon. Here are his impressions of that night.
LEON: This was my first live show
with Dig since I joined the band and I wasn’t sure what to expect. When Dig was
announced he came on stage still wearing his crutches. The roar from the crowd
was deafening. It was quite an emotional experience as everybody stood up and
cheered for about ten minutes. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I
had expected a good reaction but nothing like this! Our apprehension about
Dig’s first show since the Harbour Bridge accident was all for nothing. He
absolutely slaughtered them! There were well-meaning hands reaching out to
touch him and if they had got hold of him they would have pulled him off the
stage in the heat of the moment. They had gone utterly berserk and we could do
no wrong. We stole the show completely! Back at the Carlton Hotel after the
show. Dig and Col played guitar and sang to a select audience of about twenty
party girls while Jon and Dave Bridge sang a few dirty ditties. Dave’s
rendition of The Bishop From Birmingham brought the house down!
BACK TO JON: Well
that was our extended tour of Newcastle. Now it was back to Sydney for two
nights’ dances at Brookvale Theatre. These old theatres were definitely not set
up for bands. The stage was only deep enough for the drums and that’s all. You
had to step precariously round the drums if you were silly enough to set up on
the other side of the stage. It was also a very high stage which was bad for
falling off but good for keeping away the “BAND VULTURES”, Peter’s affectionate
name for groupies, band molls, fans etc., who hovered, talons bared, around the
stage. Band vultures could do some damage if they got hold of you!
Some of the kids
used to sneak over to Fiorelli’s Wine Bar or Brookie pub and get some
“responsible” adult to buy some grog for them. So towards the end of the night,
a few fights would erupt. Fortunately we had some good bouncers.
For a lot of
these dances, during Leon’s first week, we had to use other singers instead of
Dig as he was still recovering from the accident and only did the most
important shows. For instance, at Brookvale we used Lonnie Lee one night and
Ray Hoff the next. The Brookie dances were worth six quid (£6) each.
Sunday
night:Phyllis Bates Ballroom in Pitt Street,
City. This was one of our regular dances and this night we used Lonnie Lee
instead of Dig. Six quid (£6). (Reminds me of a joke about a ‘sick squid’).
Monday
night: Teen Time, Dale Wayne as support act again this week. Six guineas
(£6/6/-).
Tuesday afternoon:
Band practice at Northbridge Masonic Hall. Then at night, Marrickville Kings
Theatre with Dig. I’ve gone blank on this gig. I have no recollection of it at
all. But if it’s in Leon’s “Crazy Book”, we did it! Ten quid (£10)!
Wednesday
night: Cabramatta Civic Hall, with Dig, Kitten Dwyer and Mark Rebel & the
Vampires. Six pounds, five shillings (£6/5/-).
Thursday
arvo: Practice at Northbridge again and then Chatswood Dispensary Hall at
night. The R’Jays and Lee Rivers. Seven pounds, ten shillings (£7/10/-).
Friday
night: Lithgow Showground Hall with Dig. Drawn a blank on this one too.
Strange, Lithgow’s such a memorable town! Twenty one pounds (£21)!
Saturday
night: Back to Brookie for another dance, this time with Ray Hoff filling in
for Dig. Six quid (£6).
Sunday night: Phyllis Bates with Lonnie Lee filling in. Another sick squid (£6).
At this time Lonnie had a hit
record in the charts called Ain’t It So? He also had a beautiful sister,
Liz who was sort of going out with Warren Williams at the time. I desperately
wanted to “sort of” go out with her too but I never succeeded because she was
stolen away by our newly found drummer Leon
– you grasscutter!
Monday:
Well folks, that’s the end of two weeks with Dig & the R’Jays and the “Baby
Drummer” as Leon was called. Back to Teen Time with only Dig on this
week. Six guineas (£6/6/-).
So over this two
week period I made a total of 133 pounds, 12 shillings (£133/12/-), which in
1959 was not bad bread and a whole lot better than “don’t give up your day
job!” We’re off to Melbourne tomorrow and I’m going to meet a lovely girl
called “Mouldy Marlene”!
The silver Top
taxi weaved precariously through the mid-morning Melbourne traffic on our way
from Essedon Airport to the Melbourne Town Hall for a lunchtime concert. We sat
in the cab excitedly talking about the differences between Melbourne and
Sydney, like the silly right-hand turns, the trams and the safety zones that go
with them, and the really tarted-up looking girls.
“Tell us, is
that Dick Richard really a poofta?” Now this is one of the standard cab driver
questions along with “What’s Johnny O’Keefe really like?” and “There’s lots of
pooftas in the entertainment business, isn’t there?” Maybe we’ll get around to
answering these questions for you later on, guys! Meanwhile, keep your eyes on
the road! Fortunately Dig was in the cab in front and we satisfied the
inquisitive cad driver with “No, he’s as normal as you and I mate!”
“Well y’never
can tell with these types can yers?” he said as we bumped across the tramlines.
There was a
large queue of Melbourne’s finest waiting to get into the Town Hall. Some of
them screamed, “There he is, there’s Dig!” and “That must be the R’Jays!” Some of them broke away from the queue and
started to chase the cabs but we turned into the back of the Town Hall and lost
them. I kind of wanted them to catch us but I knew that we could easily lose
some clothing or anything else they could get their sweaty little hands on for
a souvenir.
We found out there
were two shows to do. Supporting us were two local bands the High Marks and the
Hi-Fi’s (most confusing) and Frankie Davidson who was a pretty big star in
Melbourne at the time. “Hi,” said Frankie, “You guys certainly caused a bit of
a stir out the front!”
“Not nearly as
much as we’re going to stir up out there, Frank,” said Dig, pointing towards
the stage. We did stir them up a little as well! The lunchtime concerts were
always grand occasions and they became the inspiration for the so-called “live”
EP Dig Richards At The Melbourne Town Hall. Well I think the applause
was “live” anyway! Melbourne Town Hall is a bit like Sydney Town Hall in that
the acoustics are lousy but the atmosphere is great. You certainly don’t have to
use much echo there, which was lucky because we didn’t have any! Echo was a
luxury in sound that was strictly reserved for the recording studio. In fact,
at that time, our equipment compared to that of Melbourne bands was sadly
lacking. But what we lacked in equipment and band size (The Thunderbirds was
about a ten-piece band) we made up for in popularity which did tend to make
those Melbourne bands a little pissed-off!
Show over, we
headed off to our hotel, the London, for well-earned drinks, relaxation, food
and, hopefully, SEX! Some of the girls had found out (or maybe we told them?)
what hotel we were staying at and they followed us back. Hotel policy
definitely did not condone girls in the rooms and in those days they enforced
the rule pretty heavily. Undaunted, we led some of the girls up the fire escape
and in through a window to our rooms.
“You can’t do
this!” said our Melbourne tour manager Chris Diprose. “You’ll get us thrown
out.” Panic, panic! “Shut up,” I said, “There’s one for you too!”
“Well get them
into the room quickly before someone comes down the hall.” More panic, panic!
It’s interesting
to note at this point the method we adopted for culling out the less
broad-minded of the female fans. This was accomplished by a series of “party tricks”
each one guaranteed to get rid of a certain percentage of guests. These were as
follows:
DANCE OF THE
FLAMING ARSE HOLES which consists of sticking the local newspaper up your arse
and lighting it, then dancing around the room. In some towns the local rag is a
little small, which results in a burnt bottie! Deterrent value: 50% at least.
ERIC BAUME: For
all of you that do not remember him, Eric Baume was a rather bad-tempered
current affairs expert of the time on TV and radio who later was the Beast on Beauty
And The Beast. He had thick horn-rimmed glasses and a very thick moustache.
To perform the trick, all one has to do is place a pair of horn-rimmed glasses
on top of one’s genitals. Preferably, one should have dark hair and be past the
age of puberty! Deterrent value: 25%
W.O.W!: This one
is performed by borrowing lipstick from one of the remaining guests and
painting a large ‘W’ on each cheek of your arse. When you return to the room
you may not be good-looking but when you bend over – “WOW!” Deterrent Value:
25%.
The inventor of
the first two tricks had all of these attributes plus the horned-rimmed specs
as well! He is none other than the famous (or infamous!) John Bogie of the Joy
Boys who later made an instrumental record of The Dance Of The Flames.
He is the inventor of many famous party tricks, some of which we weren’t even
game enough to perform, such as DOCTOR BEAUJAIS’ ANATOMY TEST and the BUM
LAMPSHADE. If ever there was a lull in proceedings, Peter Baker would exclaim in
a loud Shakespearian voice “Oh for the joys of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE!” This was
usually followed by a couple of nervous girls scurrying for the door while the
more stout-hearted ones remained.
Sometimes the
party tricks would all go wrong and ALL, the fans would be horrified and leave
but “that’s show biz!”
Meanwhile, back
at the London, one room as usual was designated The Party Room. It’s a good
idea not to let it be your room because not only do you have all the mess in
the morning, but you have to take your bird, if you get one, into someone
else’s room (decadent party hint No.1). Well, in the party room there were
about six girls remaining. Two of them were Jackie and Marlene. Jackie came
from Collingwood. I went to her place on a later trip. Marlene was given the
rather unkind nickname of “Mouldy Marlene”, by one of the guys in the band.
Marlene was not “mouldy” as such but more slightly tarnished, a fallen angel.
There was also
one Melbourne DJ known very appropriately as “Haines the Hound”. Unwanted Disc
Jockeys were noted for turning up at after-show parties. Why not? Free piss,
plenty of chicks and loads of name dropping on the radio the next day. And, who
knows? Maybe if they’re feeling generous, they might even play your record!
The party careered
on into the night with copious amounts of grog being consumed. After a while, I
figured it was time to go to my room and lie down before I fell down. I was
woken about 4am by a whimpering sound outside my door. It was Mouldy Marlene!
“I can’t get
into any of the rooms and I can’t go home because I haven’t got any money,” she
sobbed.
“Okay, I guess you better come
in then, eh?” said I.
She got into bed
with all her clothes on and started getting really aggro, saying, “Don’t touch
me, don’t you dare touch me!” I looked meaningfully into her eyes in the
half-light of the Melbourne dawn and said, “Marlene, this is my bed, in my room
and if you want to stay here things better start getting a bit more pleasant!”
Well I guess
that was all she needed because things started to hot up right away. From then
on, every time the band came to Melbourne, Mouldy Marlene would be waiting for
me at the airport. She even came to Sydney and stayed at my place for a week
with another girlfriend who later married our piano player, Jay Boogie. Marlene
and I enjoyed what you might call a good sexual relationship, probably my
first.
As the taxi
meandered its way to Essedon Airport, Peter uttered the immortal line, “You’ll
all rot in Hell!” As I pondered whether
or not I should have let Marlene go to sleep with all her clothes on or not,
the thought came to me “THE ONE YOU MISS… IS THE ONE YOU’LL NEVER GET AGAIN!”
****
To Chapter 5 The
Power of the Band
3036w