27
GUNFIGHT AT BATEMANS
BAY
The piano was loud and pumping
in typical Jerry Lee Lewis style. Mr. Muckle was thumping out heavy rock’n’roll
riffs and Kevin Barker was screaming out like an early Johnny O’Keefe. No, it
wasn’t Winifred Atwell on piano; it was our old mate Jumpin’ Jimmy Taylor.
Michael Lawler and I were playing out our 1972 Xmas break from Winnie with the
“Jimmy Taylor Rock Revival” at Bonaparte’s Nightclub in the Whisky a Go Go.
EMI record producer, Rod Coe,
was in the audience and he invited us to come to the studio the next day and
put down some Jimmy Taylor tracks with the addition of Col Loughnan on sax.
Jimmy had never sung all that much in the past and we encouraged him to add a
few vocals to his repertoire. The whole thing was a welcome rock’n’roll
diversion from our busy schedule with Winifred Atwell during the past year. Rod
Coe was thrilled with the piano and backing tracks, but unfortunately when Jim
finally added his vocals, they sounded a bit too rough. EMI executives decided
that the general public wasn’t ready for Jimmy Taylor’s raucous voice and Jim’s
singing career was put on hold.
Meanwhile, 1973 was already
shaping up to be a busy year for the Pooh and the Zarsoffs. Winnie had a new
agent, Brian Fogarty and the book was filling up fast. The year began with a
NSW south coast tour with comedian BRIAN DOYLE as our support act. Brian was a
very funny Irish comedian with sense of humour that always included the dark
side. Brian needed no musical backing for the first half of the show and he
introduced Winifred Atwell in the second half. Prior to this introduction he
did a ten-minute comedy spot while the band crept onto the stage in preparation
for Winnie.
The sight of three guys
standing behind him in dinner suits and poof- fronts was too much for Brian,
and he couldn’t resist sending us up. He started a little routine where he
would ask the audience how they went on the pokies.
“Did anybody get three aces?”
he asked. “Did anyone get three kings?” Then he would point to us and say,
“Does anybody want three queens?” It usually got a bit of a laugh, but by the
third night in
The timing for the assault had
to be perfect and the pistols had to be filled just before we went on so they
wouldn’t leak too much inside our pockets. As Brian turned to deliver his line
“Does anybody want three queens?” we opened fire and scored three direct hits
to his face and head. Poor Brian was in a state of shock. He just stood there
dumbfounded. The audience thought it was part of the act and they went wild
with laughter and applause. While we holstered our guns and pretended nothing
had happened, Brian tried to continue on, but it was impossible. He had
completely lost his routine. There was nothing left for him to do but introduce
Winnie and look for a towel.
The following night at Eden
Fishermans Club was even funnier. Brian came on dressed in a raincoat and hat
in preparation for the drenching. When he delivered his line he took cover and
we just ignored him completely. The audience couldn’t figure out what he was
doing in a raincoat and he lost it once again.
HORRIBLE HUBERT
An emergency came up just as
we were preparing for our trip to
Although he called himself
Hugh Williams when he played a few times with the Daly Wilson Big Band, Michael
and I only remembered Hubert from a lot of heavy rock’n’roll bands. Hubert had
an unpronounceable last name so Michael called him Hubert Powerpoint.
Hubert arrived in
“Sure,” said Michael. “We
better give you a quick run through of Winnie’s show.”
That night the Concert Hall
was packed with some of
Michael and I hid our heads in
embarrassment as I waited to play the timpani roll for Winnie’s introduction.
To our surprise Hubert then started to tune up, very loudly and a number of
deafening farts and blurts issued forth from his amp. When the coughing died
down, I could wait no longer. I played my roll, the introduction was made and I
counted Hubert into the Jesus Christ
Superstar chaser. It was nothing like anything we recognised, but when we
finally managed to get Hubert to stop playing, Winnie started slowly into our
first number.
A few more shipwrecks
followed, but surprisingly enough the difficult arrangement of
“That horrible Hubert,” said
Winnie after the show. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Jimmy sent him here on
purpose.”
Whenever Winnie arrived in
FEBRUARY
11, 1973: On
the last night of the tour we were invited to a huge feudic supper after
a charity show at the
Just when Hubert was starting
to feel relaxed, Michael did a great trick knee and crashed to the ground near
the pool. This time the joke almost backfired when three doctors from the party
came over to check his leg out. Luckily, Michael distracted them by opening a
beer bottle with his eye.
Lew kept the guests enthralled
with his stories, and after we sampled some of their excellent wines, Lew asked
Michael and me to perform a trick that hardly ever worked. “I will now throw
this cigarette in the air,” said Mr. Muckle in his best W.C. Fields voice. “The
cigarette will do three and a half somersaults and land in my mouth.
It was amazing enough that the
cigarette landed in Michael’s mouth, but I could hardly believe it when I
flicked the match and it broke the cigarette in half. I don’t know who was more
surprised. It was one of the first times that it had ever worked. Our attentive
spectators were astounded and a round of applause followed. Michael and I bowed
and pretended that it was nothing, really. It seemed that we could do no wrong.
Horrible Hubert was having a wonderful time while Diamond Jim languished at
home nursing his piles.
The most impressive trick of
the night was when our generous host took us down to his extensive wine cellar
and we were asked to nominate our year of birth. He then produced a vintage
port of the corresponding year for our consumption. The 1942 vintage was
exceptional.
THE WINE-OCEROS
During our tours, Lew elected me
as the wine taster and Michael and Jim gave me the honorary name of the ‘The
Wine-oceros’. It was a task that I readily accepted, especially as I hardly
ever had to pay for any of my extravagant selections. Winnie and Lew had a
couple of favourite French reds: Nuit St. George and Chateau Neuf du Pape, and
it was my job to win them over to our great selection of full-bodied Australian
red wines. With price not a consideration, the Wine-oceros selected some wonderful wines during our tours and if
there was anything outstanding, Lew would invariably order a case to be sent to
his unit in Narrabeen, where, much to the horror of his neighbours, Lew bricked
in one of his carports for a wine cellar.
Elizabeth Hardy was a great
fan of Winnie’s, and whenever we played the
Mr. Muckle also became the
antique items and furniture expert. While we were in Broken Hill Michael found
an old lounge suite on offer for $700. When he asked Lew for some cash to buy it,
Lew became very interested and bought it himself. Back in
On our return from
Jon was still playing with
Diamond Jim recovered from his
piles and Winnie forgave him for sending ‘Horrible Hubert’. We made amends to
From concert halls and mayoral
receptions, the Zarsoffs were back on the job again in
THERE’S NO BIZ LIKE SHOW BIZ
Alex the doorman at the
Mandarin Club opened the door and welcomed us into the club. We were still
dressed in our stage gear from a show earlier that night. Michael reckoned that
the dinner suits and poof-fronts were a passport to anywhere. And he was right.
Other mere mortals with coats and ties were being turned away in droves. We
said hello to the Mandarin Club Band (Raddy, Gavin and
One of our gigs that month was
a Michael Lang Production at the dreaded Kogarah RSL. When we arrived in the
afternoon Michael tried to get a hamburger before we went on. “I’m sorry we
can’t serve anyone with long hair,” said the waiter at the RSL bistro, “Can’t
you read the sign?”
Michael looked behind him and sure
enough there was a sign that read: “PEOPLE WITH HAIR BELOW THEIR COLLAR NOT
ALLOWED PAST THIS LINE.” Michael was disgusted. “Well, how on earth can I get a
hamburger?” The waiter just shrugged his shoulders. Michael returned to the
band room and Winnie asked him if he managed to get something to eat. When
Michael told her the story Winnie was furious. “Lew, go and tell the manager
that if this place is not good enough for my band to eat in, then it’s not good
enough for us to play in.” A few minutes later there was a huge panic and
suddenly a couple of hamburgers appeared in the bandroom. All was forgiven and
Sir Frank prepared the stage for our spot after the supporting acts closed the
first half.
A popular segment in the show
featured a few movie themes like Exodus,
Lara’s Theme (Dr. Zhivago) and Zorba’s Dance. During this segment Winnie
featured Jim’s guitar in our arrangement of the theme from Airport. Jim created some fabulous sounds and colours and the
audiences loved it. When we were half way through playing Airport, Diamond Jim suddenly felt a dig in his back from behind
the curtain. “Turn down, you’re too loud,” said the voice behind the curtain.
This was followed by another dig into Jim’s back. This time Jim instinctively
thrust his elbow back as hard as he could. There was a loud groan followed by
the sound of a body hitting the floor. “I wonder who that was?” said Jim with a
look of indignation. “I think it was the manager, Michael Lang,” I replied.
At the end of the show we
headed for the wings and were stopped by Michael Lang, who was still clutching
his stomach. “No, no, you’ve got to go back on with the whole cast and sing There’s No Business Like Show Business,”
he moaned. Lew interrupted him. “I’m sorry but Winnie doesn’t do encores with other
people.”
“But it’s the tradition,” he
cried, as we all ignored him and made our way to the Mandarin Club for our late
feudic supper.
The only other club that had a
problem with long hair was Eastern Suburbs Leagues Club. Any form of
discrimination was a pet-hate of Winnie’s and she made it known that if there
was any problem with the band’s long hair, then she would refuse to play the
gig. Consequently, we had the distinction of being the only people with long
hair allowed to roam around the club. And we made a point of it.
It was still nice to get out
of the NSW clubs every now and then, and we welcomed our little trips to
Pee Wee and Brian had been in
the Delltones for 15 years and they thought it was time to take Timothy Leary’s
LSD inspired advice by moving to the country and becoming farmers.
“You can’t retire,” said
Michael, “people love the Delltones.” The debate continued but the Bird was
adamant. When I added that Johnny O’Keefe was planning to put on a show called
‘The Good Old Days Of Rock’n’Roll’ Pee Wee shook his head. “He can have it on
his own,” he said, “Rock’n’roll is dead and nobody wants to know about the
Delltones any more.” The two newest Delltones, Sep and Bob disagreed and vowed
to stay on in the business and explore new avenues as Martin & Pierse.
“What was the biggest selling
record in
This was our last contact with
the Bird and Brian for 1973. They later put their plan into action and bought a
farm on the north coast at Eungai. Not only were they dropping out from the
rock’n’roll scene, they were dropping out of society altogether. We wished them
luck and headed for Rockhampton. I was beginning to think that we were lucky to
be insulated from all of this while we were still playing with Winnie.
The seventies seemed to be producing a lot of
unrest. We ran into Billy Thorpe at
Diamond Jim was also becoming
more and more restless because he wanted to leave the Pooh and start his own
contemporary rock band. Jim had been with Winnie at least a year longer than
Michael and me, and he thought it was time for a change. There was one more big
tour coming up in
MAGIC PUDDING IN THE SHAKY
ISLES
APRIL
26, 1973:
Winifred Atwell & the Magic Pudding boarded our Air New Zealand flight for
There was a bit of excitement
on the plane when Gavin discovered that he had a small block of hash in his
pocket. “You can’t take that to
“He’s right, what are we going
to do?” I groaned, “You can’t very well throw it out the window.” Jim took hold
of the offending dope. “We’ll have to eat it!” he said.
The dessert arrived – ice
cream and prunes. “Look,” said Jim as he broke off a few pieces, “It’s the same
colour as the prunes.”
About an hour later we hit the
“I think they’re onto us,”
said Jim in a nervous whisper. “Try to act normal.” The prunes and the hash
seemed to be taking their toll.
“Whaddiya got in there?” said
the Kiwi customs officer, pointing to Michael’s bass case. Michael freaked out
and dropped his case. He was about to put his hands up and surrender when the
officer asked if he could check out his deer rifle.
“It’s not a deer rifle. It’s
an electric bass!” said Michael.
“She’ll be right, mate. Go
right on through,” said the customs officer. Jim and Gavin breathed a sigh of
relief.
A sea of surreal new faces
greeted us and we were taken to the Clarendon Hotel. “Must have been a rough
trip?” said our NZ promoter, Chris Cambridge as we all stared straight ahead at
the unfamiliar traffic of strange old cars.
The first week we covered the South Island of New Zealand, playing
at Christchurch Concert Hall,
WINIFRED
ATWELL’S MAGIC STILL POTENT
What do you say? You can only say that
Winifred Atwell creates her own kind of magic and she proved it again in the
Dunedin Concert Chamber last night.
Her capacity audience were obvious fans, but
even if you weren’t, as the evening progressed the atmosphere caught you up in
its own excitement, sentimentality, or rhythm.
Winnie came on stage with charm and vivacity
and proved also that a real trouper can adapt to changing tastes and
conditions. So she included in her selections themes from the films, Jimmy
Webb’s MacArthur Park and Hava Nagilah, which makes you clap
whether you want to or not, as well as other modern hits.
Audience participation was readily given –
singing the oldies from You Made Me Love
You to If You Knew Suzie and
providing a clapping rhythm for others.
The ever-popular rags were provided, but so
too was the classical.
The backing was given by The Magic Pudding –
Jimmy Doyle (lead guitar with a sense of humour), Michael Lawler (bass) and
Leon Isackson (drums). For many of the middle-aged audience, the guitars would
have been seen in a new light, no doubt. This was a quality and apt backing
sound, at times perhaps a little overpowering, but always giving a beat.
Some neat lighting changes provided further
presentation polish.
And as Winnie, gorgeous in her fur-trimmed
cape came on stage to play Now Is The
Hour, the last of her many encores, her own brand of magic was taken away
by an audience which showed its appreciation with a standing ovation.
Once we reached
At
While the rest of us partied
on across the hall in Jim’s room, Michael wondered what he was going to do
next. Still dressed in his dinner suit, Mr. Muckle tried to hide his
embarrassment by casually offering his naked guest a drink. She refused his
offer and pulled him onto the bed.
During a passionate embrace
Michael’s nude lady suddenly snapped and started to choke him. “You men are all
bastards!” she screamed. Michael was so startled; he leapt to his feet and
offered to put her fur coat back on. She refused to dress and after a few
minutes she pulled Muckle back onto the bed and the entire episode was repeated
once again. By the third time Michael was totally confused and battered. He
excused himself and came into Jim’s room.
“What happened to the girl in
the fur coat, Muck?” said Jim.
“I don’t know what to do,”
said Michael, “She’s a maddie!” When he explained what was going on, we
suggested that he send Gavin in. “Tell him there’s a bun on, and he’s next,”
said Jim. “Good idea,” said the Muckle.
We followed Michael and Gavin
into the room. Michael’s guest was standing next to the bed, but she was now
wearing her fur coat. “I’d like to introduce you to Sir Frank Packer,” said Mr.
Muckle. She dropped her fur coat to the floor and stood in front of Gavin.
“Well, what do you think?” she said.
Gavin’s eyes nearly bulged out
of his head. He immediately dropped his trousers and said, “Well, what do you
think of this?”
WHAAACK! She let fly with a
right hook to Gavin’s head. Gavin’s trousers were around his ankles and he
landed flat on his back. “I’m sorry, Muck,” he kept repeating as we dragged him
out of the room.
While we were staying at the
Auckland Intercontinental, we decided to check out the local music scene. We
were surprised to see that the old Top Twenty nightclub was still going under
the new name of Grandpa’s. This was one of the places that Michael and I played
back in 1965 when we were the Rajahs.
We were looking for singer
Tommy Adderly, and a few of our NZ musician friends from those days. When we
walked in we were surprised to see that the place was full of very young people
and only soft drink was being served. For the first time in my life I was
feeling old, standing around with a crowd of young people, listening to a
young, amateurish band. It wasn’t until we eventually ran into a very gaunt
Tommy Adderly that we realised we were in the wrong place. We renewed our
acquaintance with Tommy, and he explained that we were in Grandma’s. Grandpa’s
was upstairs. “Follow me, lads,” said Tommy in his broad
Now this was more like it. The
crowd was more our age, and the band was fabulous, with various players sitting
in, such as Mike Walker on piano, Jimmy Hill on drums and Billy Christian on
bass. We remembered both Jimmy and Billy from Ray Columbus & the Invaders.
Tommy handed me a bourbon and coke and we caught up on all the
The touring Zarsoffs still
managed to find a couple of other places like Mojos nightclub and the Tainui
Hotel. The Kiwis always had a few good bands, but it was still hard to make a
good full-time living out of music in the Shaky Isles.
Godspell was playing in town and some
of the cast invited us to the show. On one of our few nights off we were also
invited to catch Cliff Richard’s show at the Town Hall. Cliff had also recently
discovered God, and during his religious songs I fell asleep. It just wasn’t
the same without the Shadows.
In 34 days Winifred Atwell and
the Magic Pudding had covered every major town and theatre in
To Chapter 28 Winnie and the Rajahs
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