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Stuntman
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Yon:
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Okay, this next song is... it's sort of an account of something that's happened to me personally. We're working on a sketch comedy show at the moment and it's basically based on the experiences I've had doing that. Ahh... it's quite an emasculating experience.
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Boom-do-do-doodle-do doh doh,
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Boom-do-do-doodle-do doh doh,
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Boom-do-do-doodle-do doh doh,
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Yon:
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Being on television,
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Boom-do-do-doodle-do doh doh,
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Yon:
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Is a dream come true.
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Boom-do-do-doodle-do doh doh,
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Yon:
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I love to be the centre of attention,
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Boom-do-do-doodle-do doh doh,
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Yon:
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Wouldn't you?
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I got to be a superhero,
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I got to be a singer in a band.
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But it's not quite perfect,
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Living in TV land.
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'Cause my stuntman...
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Scod:
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Stuntman...
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Gatesy:
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Stuntman...
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Tripod:
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... is a woman.
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Gatesy:
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Female, that is.
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Scod:
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No shit!
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Gatesy:
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NOT a man.
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Out of the entire,
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Stunt community.
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A woman was...
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Yon:
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... the one who had the closest,
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Body shape to me.
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Gatesy:
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A little... a small little woman!
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Yon:
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When all the action starts,
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I just sit and stew.
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'Cause they get a girl to do the things,
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That I'm too woossy to do.
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'Cause my stuntman...
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Scod:
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Stuntman...
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Gatesy:
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Stuntman...
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Tripod:
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... is a woman.
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Yon:
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Did I mention that my stuntman...
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Scod:
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Stuntman...
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Gatesy:
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Stuntman...
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Tripod:
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... is a woman?
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Gatesy:
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And, you know,
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Gatesy:
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The stunts they get her to do,
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Aren't even that stunt-y.
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Scod:
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If he needs a stuntman to stand on a box,
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It's a bit affront-y.
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Yon:
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There was this one scene,
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Where I get hit by a truck.
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But they didn't even use her.
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They used a dummy...
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(Pause)
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Gatesy and Scod:
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... of a woman.
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Yon:
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This situation,
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Was not part of my plans.
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She soaks up all the glory,
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While I'm sitting alone in the van.
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'Cause it takes a woman...
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Scod:
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Woman...
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Gatesy:
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Woman...
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Tripod:
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To make me look like a...
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Yon:
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(Very high) ... man!
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