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For the Purposes of this Show
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Tripod:
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Some people call us the Space Cowboys,
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Well, that's not actually true.
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But let's assume they do,
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For the purposes of this show.
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We might not be wearing galactic chaps,
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But we are galactic chaps,
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For the purposes of this show.
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Oh-oo-oh-oo-oh...
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Oh-oo-oh-oo-oh...
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Oh-oo-oh-oo-ohhhh...
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For the purposes of this show.
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Scod:
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For example, if I told you that this stage was an alien planet, you could react in one of two ways:
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Gatesy:
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"Oh, get fucked, it is not!"
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Scod:
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Wrong.
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Yon:
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(Looking wide-eyed and space-walking) "Is it?!?!"
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(Pause)
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Scod:
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Also wrong!
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Scod:
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If we tell you we'd gone into space,
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Or that something else is the case,
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Tripod:
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Then it is the case,
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For the purposes of this show.
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Oh-oo-oh-oo-oh,
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This is a shit-hot show,
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Scod:
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But from the get-go,
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Gatesy:
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There's some things you need to know:
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Tripod:
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For the purposes of this show,
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Yon:
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Aliens speak English.
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Tripod:
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For the purposes of this show,
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Gatesy:
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I'm gonna get some robot booty.
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Tripod:
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For the purposes of this show,
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Yon:
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You can breathe on other planets.
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Tripod:
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For the purposes of this show,
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Gatesy:
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I'm gonna get some robot poontang.
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Tripod:
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For the purposes of this show,
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Scod:
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Light speed is achievable.
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Tripod:
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For the purposes of this show,
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Yon:
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I'm gonna bang some robot up the arse!
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(Pause)
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Yon:
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Gatesy was doing it!
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Gatesy:
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No, I wasn't!
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Yon:
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Well, you're sending me very mixed messages.
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Scod:
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Do robots even have arses?
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Yon:
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For the purposes of this show... yes.
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Tripod:
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It's a perfectly standard contract,
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Just believe everything we say.
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The story starts at Scod's house,
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In the middle of the day.
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