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Sauce Song
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(Many thanks to Lisa for these lyrics).
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On "Saturday Morning Rove", a campaign was started to make sauce free, since they believed that it was highly outrageous to charge extra for it. Tripod was asked to write a song for free sauce week.)
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Scod:
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Back in the days when we all lived in caves,
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Remember the days way back when.
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Yon:
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When men were men, and women were men,
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And everyone else was men
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Tripod:
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Chuck your mammoth leg on to the fire,
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And wolf it down quick cause you’re empty inside.
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Gatesy:
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But it didn’t fill the hole,
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It filled our stomach,
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Tripod:
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But not our souls.
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Scod:
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Then someone clever said, “Hey, what we need,
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Is something with flavour to add to our feed”.
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Tripod:
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Some sort of substance to give our food taste,
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Spices and herbs suspended in paste.
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Yon:
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Yum.
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Scod:
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Hey Ug-Nog, what are we gonna call it?
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What words haven’t we used yet?
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Gatesy:
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Television?
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Scod:
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No. No that doesn’t sound right.
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Gatesy:
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Sauce?
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Scod:
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Oh, maybe. Let's see how that works in a chorus.
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Tripod:
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Sauce, sweet sauce,
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Sometimes sour, sometimes savoury.
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Sauce, sauce of course,
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Every hour it’s my favourite, (They fail to get "savoury" to rhyme with "favourite")
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Sauce.
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Yon:
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This was the beginning of the sauce age.
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Gatesy:
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Greek philosophers would discuss sauce and its merits at lengths.
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Yon:
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In Rome, gladiators competed for wondrous prizes.
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First Prize:
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Gatesy:
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Sauce.
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Yon:
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Second Prize:
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Gatesy:
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Slightly less sauce.
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Yon:
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Third Prize:
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Gatesy:
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Sour cream.
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Aqueducts brought sauce into the city,
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Yon:
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Sauce flowed like wine,
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Well, congealed wine.
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Gatesy:
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People speak of a time when the streets were paved with sauce,
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Yon:
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Except on Sundays when it was hosed down.
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Then people said the streets were paved with cobblestones,
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A precursor to your modern pebble mix.
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Scod:
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So fellas, what was this song about?
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Tripod:
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Sauce, sweet sauce,
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Sometimes sour, sometimes savoury.
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Sauce, sauce of course,
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Every hour you're my favouri... te,
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Sauce.
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Gatesy:
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Then people, the dark times came.
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Scod:
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The Roman Empire crumbled and soon after that,
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The dinosaurs became extinct.
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I think that’s right.
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Was it meteors, ??? , bad management? No.
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Scod:
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We have discovered a link.
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Tripod:
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Society was set on this terrible course,
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When some heartless mongrel started charging for sauce!
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Crowd:
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(Boos loudly)
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Tripod:
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So it’s all brought us here to today,
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With this hastily written tune that we play.
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Yon:
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Make it free!
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Tripod:
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Sauce, sweet sauce,
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Sometimes sour, sometimes savoury.
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Sauce, sauce of course,
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Every hour you're my favourite.
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Gatesy:
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We have to stop them charging us for sauce today, people.
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If we don’t, where will it end?
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Next they’ll be charging us for bread and water,
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And basic services like gas and electricity.
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Scod:
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And university education.
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Yon:
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And hookers!
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Gatesy:
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Everybody sing!
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Tripod:
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Sauce, sweet sauce.
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Sometimes sour, sometimes savoury.
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Scod:
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Come on, you know it by now!
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Tripod:
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Sauce, sauce of course,
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Every hour, you’re my favouri... te
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Sauce.
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