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Sale of The Saturday
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(Many thanks to Darth for these lyrics).
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Gatesy:
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Hi, I’m John Blackman and right around Australia you’re watching "Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday".
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Now make welcome the man who asks all the questions... Darryl Somers.
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Scod:
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It’s been over three years... and you’re still sitting on your couch on Saturday night.
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Here I come again, once more giving you a reason to go out.
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Tripod:
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Test your speed and knowledge,
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And test your patience at the same time.
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Yon:
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Okay, all right, let’s meet our contestants. For a start we’ve got an old lady in a tea-tu... ah, tutu.
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And in the middle we’ve got two chic... two fat chicks in love.
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And finally we’ve got a guy with boot polish on his face, doing a Michael Jackson impersonation.
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But they’re all good sports.
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All right, let’s begin. Who am I?
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Scod:
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Darryl Somers?
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Yon:
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Ah ha... you’re a chubby idiot... but you’re a good sport.
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John Blackman. I bet you’ve got a good joke about that, John.
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Gatesy:
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Uh... she’s fat?
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Yon:
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You’re a genius! The stuff you get away with 'cause we can’t see you. You’re like a comedy ninja.
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Scod:
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Dickie writes the questions. And every now and again we all dress up.
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Last week we did a horror show, and this week I’m gonna wear a multi-coloured jumper.
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Gatesy:
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Darryl Somers dressed by Gazman.
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Scod:
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Molly Meldrum frocks up, and puts his gifts towards the gift shop.
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Yon:
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All right, what do we have today, Molly?
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Scod:
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Well, today we’ve got...
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Yon:
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Oh, I bet you do, eh? Ha-ha. Yeah. Very good.
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Scod:
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Sorry?
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Yon:
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Well, you know, how you’re... (whistle)
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Scod:
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Well look, I just want to get through this, if that’s...
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Yon:
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Oh yeah, I bet you do. Oh Molly.
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He’s a good sport, isn’t he? ... for a poof.
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Tripod:
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Hey, hey, hey, it’s Sale of the Saturday.
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Yon:
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Hey, hey, hey, Glenn Ridge doesn’t matter day.
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Tripod:
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Hey, hey, hey, not Nikki Buckley, or Alise Platt-a-day!
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Hey, hey, hey, it’s Sale of the Saturday.
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Yon:
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Tom Wates.
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Gatesy:
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Tony Barber, where are you?
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Look at what we’ve had to do.
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Scod:
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And somewhere out in the suburbs, Ozzy Ostrich sits in front of the telly.
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His floppy legs draped around a bong filled with black liquid.
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His two friends, Humphrey B. Bear and Agro, urge him to leave the house.
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Yon:
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Oh come on, Ozzy, let’s go and get ripped...
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Oh, I see you already are.
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Didn’t know felt could look so bloodshot.
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Scod:
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Hey. Hey guys, I’ve just discovered this great thing.
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What you do is, you put Pink Floyd on. Then you turn down the volume on Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday.
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Then you switch the vision off, and it fits perfectly.
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Humphrey... say something!
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Tripod:
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Hey, hey, hey, it’s Sale of the Saturday.
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Hey, hey, hey, it’s Sale of the Saturday.
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