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Urine Town
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Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
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Robbie:
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Wil and Adam asked Tripod to do fictional extracts from the Tony-award-winning musical "Urine Town". Tripod love musicals. Well, they also really like wee jokes. Plus, footy pep-talk idiom, just for kicks.
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Scod:
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Lights up...
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Gatesy:
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Curtain opens...
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Yon:
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Three... four...
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Tripod:
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Just another happy day in Urine Town,
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There's nothing to damp your mood or get you down,
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In Urine Town.
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We don't have problems,
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That we can't work out,
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Wee, wee, weeeee...
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In Urine Town.
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Scod:
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Excuse me, sir, can you direct me to the theatre? I came all the way from Pissburgh, and I'm going to make it big! I'm going to write my name on every wall in town!
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Yon:
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(Old man voice) You might as well go home, son,
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You might as well go home.
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The urine factory's closed,
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And you (mutters incomprehensibly).
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Scod:
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What was that last bit, Mister?
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Yon:
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You might as well go home, son...
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Scod:
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Yeah, yeah, sir, I heard that.
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Yon:
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There used to be a steady stream of gold here,
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Now it's just wet and cold here,
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Since the urine factory closed down.
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Scod:
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Hey sir, but excuse me, what is wrong with you?
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Yon:
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I'm really pissed.
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Scod:
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Oh, fine. Well, you sound like Yon doing an impression of Tom Waits.
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Yon:
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(Other voice) I couldn't help but overhear your conversation.
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Scod:
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And who are you, Mister?
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Yon:
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I'm the guy who tells you about the town meeting.
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Scod:
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Oh!
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Yon and Gatesy:
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(Assorted people talking at once)
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Scod:
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Order! Order!
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Tripod:
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It's all gone to piss here in Urine Town,
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It's all gone down the drain.
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Nothing gets passed here in Urine Town.
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What are we gonna do?
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Yon:
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I know! We might as well go home...
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Scod:
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Oh, shut up, will ya Mister! Order!
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Gatesy:
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Order! Order!
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Scod:
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The mayor wants to speak.
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Gatesy:
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Everything might stink here in Urine Town,
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But if we all pull together as a team,
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We can kick another goal here in Urine Town,
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We can push through the pack here in Urine Town,
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It's not over 'till the siren goes in Urine Town...
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Yon:
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Yes, but what are we going to do?
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Scod:
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Oh, excuse me. I have an idea!
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Yon:
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Don't listen to him, he's from Pissburgh.
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Scod:
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But wait, listen. Hear me out. We don't need the urine factory. We can make our own urine!
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Tripod:
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(Sounds of disagreement) That's preposterous! Surely not!
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Gatesy:
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(Female voice) Wait! Wait! I believe in him.
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Scod:
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She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
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Skin as white as porcelain, eyes as blue as the bluest water you can imagine.
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A handy duck-shaped neck, perfect for all those awkward, hard-to-reach spots.
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I felt that I'd pissed my life against the wall until this moment.
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So come on, everyone! Pull down your pants! We can all put in our share! This town's destiny is in our own hands!
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Yon and Gatesy:
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Future's bright and clear in Urine Town...
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Scod:
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So the town shook off the yoke of corporate oppression.
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Yon and Gatesy:
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You can hear for miles around the hissing sound...
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Scod:
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And pissing became something that everyone did.
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Yon and Gatesy:
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In Urine Town...
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Scod:
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And I married that girl.
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Yon and Gatesy:
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In Urine Town...
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