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21 Things I Don't Want in a Lover
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Robbie:
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Twenty-one things I don't want in a lover - the flip side of an Alanis song. Bonus points awarded for the inclusion of rare or pedigree cheeses.
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Yon:
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Twenty-one things I don't want in a lover,
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Twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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Yon:
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If you're in this list, don't even bother,
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You're one of twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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Gatesy:
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First, start, I don't like dead people, or people who have been dead.
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I hate people who play racquet sports, they make me see red.
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People who have long showers - they're so selfish, people who have cats, who are cats, or like the musical "Cats".
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In fact, I'm going to have to lump all animals, insects, and fish into one category,
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Otherwise I'd end up with twenty-one things and still have billions to go.
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Yon:
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Twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover,
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Yon:
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Twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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Yon:
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If you're Keith Richards or Danny Glover,
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Then you're one of the...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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Gatesy:
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If you've ever been sprung picking up boys in Government cars, allegedly,
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If you've ever made crap television shows then there'll be two in the family.
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If you've ever been sprung having sex with your best mate's missus, allegedly,
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Unless I'm the missus - ha! - which I wouldn't be.
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Tripod:
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I-I-I...
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I-I-I-I-I...
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I-I...
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Scod:
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... haven't written any lyrics for this bit.
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Gatesy:
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I hate Van Halen, there, I said it.
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"Mission Brown" is not one of my favourites.
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I once played God in a movie and I didn't like the caterer.
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People who listen to music while making love, especially if they're wearing headphones,
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I'm sick of meeting men with rare or pedigree cheese in their pockets.
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Yon:
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Twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover,
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Yon:
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Twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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Yon:
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I can't get close to you if you're made of lava,
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Then you're one of twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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I-I-I...
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I-I-I-I-I...
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I-I...
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Scod:
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... liked this bit so much I did it twice.
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Yon:
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Yeah!
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Yon:
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Twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover,
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Yon:
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Twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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Yon:
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If you're better than me on a harmonica,
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If you didn't buy my second album,
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If you're one of those three members of Tripod,
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Then you're one of twenty-one...
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Tripod:
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... things I don't want in a lover.
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