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Much Too Skinny for the Army
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Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
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Robbie:
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Hey, stop for a second. I mean, really stop. What if Tripod had to write a song about army recruitment? With a reference to McLeod's Daughters? Well, turns out they DID have to!
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Gatesy:
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Joining today's modern defence force is hard enough. First you have to choose - Navy, Air Force, Army, KISS Army, Salvation Army, Army of Darkness. But even once you've chosen, you have to make the grade...
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Tripod:
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I'm way too skinny for the army,
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Way too slender for the job.
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What can I do if my country doesn't want me,
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'Cause my talents only stretch to mini-golf?
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I'm way too uncool for the army,
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All that running through car tyres.
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I guess that would come in handy,
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If you invaded a country whose terrain was all car tyres.
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But I'm skinny and I'm clever,
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Maybe now, more than ever,
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The technology has caught up with me.
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If wars have gone all electronic,
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I could fight them with my joystick,
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As long as they bring pizza to me.
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Then I could be in the army.
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Gatesy:
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It's not tricky to imagine,
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Me in a bunker, at a screen.
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Controlling reconnaissance robots, maybe mine-detecting robots,
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Even robots who run through tyres.
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Tripod:
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But I'm skinny and I'm clever,
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Maybe now, more than ever,
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The technology has caught up with me.
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If wars have gone all electronic,
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I could fight them with my joystick,
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While watching McLeod's Daughters on TV.
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Then I could be in the army.
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Scod:
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I was never good at PacMan,
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Tripod:
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But at Defender I'd light up the skies.
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Scod:
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I was never good at Frogger,
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Tripod:
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It's much too much like hopping over tyres.
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Scod:
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And if I don't get in the army,
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Tripod:
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I could become an evil mastermind.
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Yon:
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Live in an underwater tower,
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Tripod:
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And wearing shiny skivvies all the time,
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That would be fine.
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Scod:
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I'm skinny and I'm clever,
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Tripod:
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Maybe now, more than ever,
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The technology has caught up with me.
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Yon and Gatesy:
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If I could make up my mind...
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Scod:
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If wars have gone all electronic,
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Tripod:
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I could fight them with my joystick,
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As long as they bring pizza to me.
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Then I could be in the army.
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Gatesy:
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Thankyou!
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