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Frankel's Lament
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Yon:
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Okay, let's just set the scene in a hospital.
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Scod:
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Mip... mip... mip...
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Gatesy:
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Frankel the mouse is there, on the bed.
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Scod:
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Mip... mip... mip...
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Gatesy:
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I've forgotten everything,
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In my little mouse-sized bin.
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In a county hospital,
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With a tiny bandage round my head.
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Yon and Scod:
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You've just got a broken ankle,
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Snap out of it, Frankel.
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Scod:
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Images are coming back to me,
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When I close my eyes I see.
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How I got my injury,
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'Cause I attempted beastiality.
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Yon and Gatesy:
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Frankel, it's your past you're seeing,
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You tried making love to a human being.
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Tripod:
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Frankie, all the things you could have been,
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That it's now impossible to be.
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Now you'll never realise your dream,
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To be a world champion at frisbee.
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Gatesy:
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(Playing air guitar) Ne-ne-ne-ne-nl, ne-ne-ne-ne-nl...
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Ne-ne-ne-ne-nl, neoww...
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Nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl... two handed... nl-nl-nl-nl-nl...
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Nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl... there's usually a really self-indulgent Kirk Hammet solo...
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Nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl-nl...
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Scod:
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Yeah, but there's usually an instrument!
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Gatesy:
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That's true, there is.
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Yon:
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Now I'm back in walking therapy,
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And they're saying, "Bend your knee, Katie, bend your knee".
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But my name is not Katie,
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And I'll never throw a fuckin' frisbee.
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Luke Skywalker, look at him,
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He saved the galaxy with a prosthetic limb.
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Tripod:
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Frankie, all the things you could have been,
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That it's now impossible to be.
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Now you'll never realise your dream,
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To be a world champion at frisbee.
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Scod:
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Memories flying at me,
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Like plastic sperm on a really weird keyring.
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It's my future I see,
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A lonely life of writing parking fines,
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But life is fine.
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Tripod:
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But Frankel, you're a mouse, don't be silly,
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Even with all four limbs you couldn't play frisbee.
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But Frankel, you will always have your dreams,
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'Cause anything is possible, you see...
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Scod:
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It's just bullshit!
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Just insert happy ending here!
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Gatesy:
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Thanks so much for coming! Let's have a drink...
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