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01 - Science Facts are Useful
02 - Crowe's Lullaby
03 - SaniGlove
04 - Shadow of Space
05 - Surfers Paradise The Musical Part 1
06 - Boggyman
07 - Josephine
08 - The Jizmo Show
09 - Star Big Kev Wars
10 - Love Scod and Gatesy
11 - When You're a Transformer
12 - Kevin Bacon
13 - Here's Wally
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Josephine
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Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
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Adam:
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What we're asking for this morning is a little Boomtown sort of musical take - an event that's given from three different points of view. There has to be a severe allergic reaction... Dave Gorman has asked specifically for a reference to the town he grew up in - Stafford - in the West Midlands of England. Stafford, of course, famous for both the Staffordshire Knot and the Staffordshire Bull Terrier.
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Gatesy:
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And Dave Gorman!
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Adam:
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Tripod, take it away!
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Scod:
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All right, we're going to strip it back here. It's a bit of a love song, it's quite poetic.
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Gatesy:
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It's a love song, just for a change.
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Scod:
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Yeah, just for a change!
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Scod:
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Two, three...
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Tripod:
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Josephine,
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I have been,
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Pretty keen,
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Saw you in a magazine,
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Josephine...
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Yon:
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Yeah, she was a model.
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Gatesy:
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No, he answered one of those "Desperate/Dateless" ads in the paper, mate.
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Tripod:
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I just knew,
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It was you,
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Who could do,
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All the things I need you to.
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Yon:
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You mean, like, the dishes and that.
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Scod:
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No, he means sexual things.
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Gatesy:
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No... I actually mean the dishes.
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Scod:
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Right.
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Tripod:
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It was you.
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Walkin' down the esplanade on Sunday...
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Scod:
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... morning.
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Gatesy:
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... night.
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Yon:
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... afternoon.
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Tripod:
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Bought a bottle of wine and went to...
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Scod:
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... Luna Park.
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Gatesy:
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... the doctor.
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Yon:
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... watch them film "Secret Life of Us".
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Tripod:
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Then we sang our song, it was a happy tune.
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Gatesy:
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How'd it go again?
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Scod:
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"Doo-doo-doo... toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot..."
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Gatesy:
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What?
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Yon:
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No, I think it was:
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Yon:
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"Spirits of the forest, can you hear me?"
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Scod:
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No, it wasn't that.
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Gatesy:
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"And then Jackie had to pick up the furniture"
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Gatesy:
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Something like that.
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Yon:
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Oh.
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Tripod:
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I would ask you to marry me,
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It if wasn't for my allergy,
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Let me give you an analogy,
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If I was a fish and you were algae.
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Scod:
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Of course, I'd need to be a fish that was allergic,
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To the type of algae in this analogy.
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Tripod:
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And that's why you can't marry me,
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Josephine...
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Gatesy:
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That doesn't mean anything!
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Scod:
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Whose story is this, anyway?
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Yon:
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Well, it's mine!
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Scod:
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Mine!
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Gatesy:
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It's mi... oh.
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Tripod:
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Josephine,
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I have...
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Scod:
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... touched,
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Yon:
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... seen,
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Gatesy:
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... heard,
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Tripod:
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With my...
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Scod:
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... crutch,
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Yon:
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... theme,
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Gatesy:
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... word,
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Tripod:
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And my...
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Scod:
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... Dutch,
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Yon:
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... clean,
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Gatesy:
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... bird,
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Oh, this is shithouse!
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Yon:
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It's not working.
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Scod:
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Look, let's just wind it up.
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Tripod:
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Baby, if you were from Staffordshire,
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And then I couldn't have-you-here,
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But Josephine, you're not a terrier,
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'Cause all my friends'd laugh-at-yer.
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Scod:
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Of course, you'd need to be the kind of dog that everyone approved of,
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And then I could have-you-here.
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Tripod:
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And that's why we can't marry-yer,
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Josephine...
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Gatesy:
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So Josephine's a dog!
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Scod:
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No, it's an analogy!
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Yon:
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Yeah, she's a fish, you idiot!
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Gatesy:
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It's too early for this.
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Tripod:
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Josephine...
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