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The Jizmo Show
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Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
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We're talking kids' TV gone bad... and also, mention of polyunsaturated fats.
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They're got to sing in their highest voice - one of them has to physically go to their highest peak of ability.
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Gatesy:
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I'm amazed, this early in the morning, that this is possible.
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Scod:
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Yup.
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Take it away, fellas!
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Tripod:
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It's seven-thirty, kids, he's on again.
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He'll make you laugh and make you smile,
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And teach you about blood and bile.
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Gatesy:
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A creature of non-specified origin.
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Tripod:
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Jizmo!
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Yaaaaaaaaaay!
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Yon:
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Hey kids, I'm Jizmo!
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Yaaaaaaaaaay!
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Yon:
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Learning about the human body all starts with me, Jizmo!
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Yaaaaaaaaaay!
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Yon:
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Why do you cheer every time I say my name?
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(Pause)
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Yon:
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... Jizmo...
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Yaaaaaaaaaay!
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Yon:
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I'm a happy-going-easy-larking-
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Johnny-come-lately,
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Together with my human friend,
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Stevo the Surly!
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Scod:
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Yaaaaaa-oooooooooh.
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Gatesy:
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(Surly) Hi.
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Yon:
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He's just finished Macbeth with the Bell Shakespeare company.
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Gatesy:
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Yeah, hi.
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Yon:
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Come on Stevo, you can do better than that!
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Gatesy:
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I went to NIDA, and now I'm doing this...
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Yon:
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But you love it, don't you Stevo?!
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Gatesy:
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Heath Ledger never even went to actors' college.
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Yon:
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And my other friend, Jenny Keys! She's half woman, half piano!
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Go, Jenny, play that piano!
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(Scod plays a happy tune)
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Gatesy:
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That's a guitar.
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Yon:
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That proves looks can be deceiving! Never judge a book by its cover!
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Gatesy:
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It even looks like a guitar.
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Yon:
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Oh, Stevo! You're so surly!
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Scod:
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Hey Jizmo, what about me?
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Yon:
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How could I forget? It's our special guest sponsor, Sergeant Dental Records!
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He's handy to have in a fire!
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Scod:
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Hey kids, brush your teeth with my new brightening, whitening mouthpaste. That way your teeth will last longer than you will!
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Yon:
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Thanks, Captain Dental Records!
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By the way, kids, just so you don't get your hopes up, this show will purely consist of me introducing characters, with no actual content! That way, we can be classified as "variety", according to the Australian Television Standards Commission. You know what that means, kids? It's more ads for you - within the actual show, as well as in between!
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Thanks to Jizmo!
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Gatesy and Scod:
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Yaaaaaaaaaay!
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Tripod:
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Jizmo's got something special for ya,
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His friends from art school owe him a favour.
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Yon:
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By night, they're a whole 'nother band, but we can't say their name on this show. It's a rude word. There is a part of the body in it, though. But today, they're our house band! They're called "The Polyunsaturated Fats"!
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Scod:
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(Very high) Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis...
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Isn't the highest note we can siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
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Yon:
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Hey guys, thanks! Well, that's about enough from me, Jizmo!
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Scod:
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Yaaaaaay!
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Tripod:
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It's seven-thirty-five, so it's time to go.
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I hope you've enjoyed the Jizmo Show.
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We've learnt and had some fun, well, no, we haven't...
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Jizmo!
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