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01 - Jamie Oliver
02 - Beards
03 - Where Has All the Music Gone?
04 - Sporting Tributes
05 - Donate Your Body Parts
06 - Mark Waugh's Press Conference
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08 - New Aussie Anthem
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20 - Avril's Film
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29 - Get Knotted
30 - Strange Dimensional Vortex Man
31 - Geek Eye for the Jock Guy
32 - Aria Awards
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38 - You Can Keep Your Leonardo
39 - Martin the Manchild
40 - Banana Rap
41 - When You're a Boy
42 - Meg Ryan
43 - Monkey
44 - Anna Kornikova
45 - Tom Cruise Song




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Beards
   
Yon: Rural Queensland, 1880. Constable Ned Kelly dons his armour and becomes the founding member of the Victorian Police Bomb Squad, pre-dating actual bombs by about 30 years. But history, it seems, would lead you to believe another story. For Constable Ned Kelly made one fatal P.R. error...
   
Tripod: History was not always as it appears,
  If you knew the truth about people with beards.
  Ned wore a helmet to hide his disgrace,
  To hide his hairy face!
   
Scod: And fifty years have passed and nothing changed,
  One tiny moustache ruined Stalin's name.
Tripod: Poor Chopper Reid's name gets dragged through the mire,
  But beardless people get away scot-free,
  Like Eddie McGuire.
   
  History was not always as it appears,
  If you knew the truth about people with beards.
  Having a beard left a terrible mark,
  On Peter Russell-Clarke.
   
Scod: King Arthur'd still be drinking from his magic cup,
  Why do you think they strung old Jesus up?
  The Vikings were basically a charity organision,
  Rasputin had some brilliant party tricks,
Tripod: And the Huns... were fun...
   
Yon: Wil Anderson finally had enough,
  When he caved in and shaved off his Jazz Tuft,
Scod: Jazz Tuft?
Yon: That's what it's called.
Yon: There's only one instance when it was revered,
  Was when Nicole Kidman herself was a beard!
   
Tripod: History was not always as it appears,
  If you knew the truth about people with beards.
  Burn all your books, both new and dog-eared,
  (The line gets stuffed up)
Scod: Aww... so close!
Tripod: And let's all grow a beard!
Yon: Or moustache.
Gatesy and Scod: And let's all grow a beard!
Yon: Or Van Dyke. But not Dick Van Dyke, you know what I mean.
Gatesy and Scod: And let's all grow a beard!
   
Yon: Or Jazz Tuft.

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