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01 - Jamie Oliver
02 - Beards
03 - Where Has All the Music Gone?
04 - Sporting Tributes
05 - Donate Your Body Parts
06 - Mark Waugh's Press Conference
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08 - New Aussie Anthem
09 - Schoolyard Confessions
10 - I Can't Stand People
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22 - Behind the News
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32 - Aria Awards
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39 - Martin the Manchild
40 - Banana Rap
41 - When You're a Boy
42 - Meg Ryan
43 - Monkey
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45 - Tom Cruise Song




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Where Has All the Music Gone?
   
Gatesy: The once peaceful, uneventful Gotham City have fallen on hard times. A number of Gotham's favourite Aria-nominated Australian entertainers have gone missing.
   
Tripod: Where has all the music gone?
  Where are all our shining stars,
  Of the Gotham/Australian music scene?
Yon: There's just a musician-shaped hole,
  Where all our musicians have been.
Tripod: What a scene!
   
Yon: Commissioner Gordon, what are we going to do?
Scod: Activate the bat... hey, weren't you in Urine Town?
Yon: Yes, I played townsperson number one.
Scod: Activate the bat signal.
Yon: Uhhh-uhhh-uhhhh!
Scod: No, the other bat signal!
Yon: Ch-ch-ngggggg!
   
Gatesy: Across the mighty Gotham inner mansion, playboy millionaire Alex Lloyd spots the signal from the drawing room. He puts down his crayons and is greeted in the library by his young ward, Master Daniel Johns.
   
Yon: Holy sore knees, Alex! What's going on?
Gatesy: Keep your voice down, Daniel. We're in the library.
Yon: Sorry, I'm not up with all this mansion etiquette. I used to live in a cemetery.
   
Gatesy: To the Batmobile:
Yon: Ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-nehhh!
   
Gatesy: Commissioner Gordon, what's the problem?
Scod: Batman, I'm so glad you came! All of music's biggest names have been vanishing one by... oh, that's, that's in song.
   
Scod: Batman, I'm so glad you came,
  All of music's biggest names,
  Have been vanishing one by one,
  And all our super-villains are locked away.
   
Gatesy: All of them? What about the Bolt of Evil?
Scod: No, under lock and key.
Gatesy: What about the Purple Hippopotamus?
Scod: Retired - runs a bowling alley.
Gatesy: What about the villain who was 98% head? Damn, he was good.
Scod: All accounted for, Batman.
   
Gatesy: Got any witnesses?
Scod: Only this guy.
Gatesy: What happened?
   
Scod: I was walking along with my tickets to Kylie Minogue,
  I'd been saving up for my tickets for seventeen years.
  When the lights came up, she was there on all fours,
  We all thought, "What a brave new direction",
  But then we discovered she was made of wax!
   
  Someone clever and wily,
  Had stolen our Kylie,
  We'll never be smiley again.
   
Gatesy: This is terrible news.
Scod: All we found was a pair of smoking hot pants.
   
Yon: News just in - George and Kasey Chambers have vanished.
Scod: George Burns? George Burns is missing?
Yon: No, the band, George.
Scod: George Burns has been banned?
Yon: The musical act, George.
Scod: Why are you calling me George? Why aren't we doing any jokes about Kasey Chambers?
Yon: Not pretty enough.
Scod: Right.
   
  Well, at least we've still got Robin.
Yon: Robin?
   
Tripod: (Gasps)
   
Gatesy: What will happen next? With the Arias approaching, why is Alex Lloyd still here? Sounds pretty sus. Tune in next week - same bat-time, same bat-channel.
   
Yon: Where has all the music gone?
   
   
Gatesy: Thank you, the nation of Australia!

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