Location:   Home  >> Interests  >> Tripod  >> Song in an Hour - 04 - Sporting Tributes

Song in an Hour Lyrics

Jump to another section:
01 - Jamie Oliver
02 - Beards
03 - Where Has All the Music Gone?
04 - Sporting Tributes
05 - Donate Your Body Parts
06 - Mark Waugh's Press Conference
07 - Not Another Rocky Sequel
08 - New Aussie Anthem
09 - Schoolyard Confessions
10 - I Can't Stand People
11 - Bond Theme
12 - Tattoo Convention
13 - Iraqi Information Minister
14 - Muppets and the Three Tenors
15 - Tatiana Grigorieva
16 - Desperately Seeking Sandman
17 - Callista Flockhart in Speedos
18 - Jacko-Aid
19 - Surfers Paradise The Musical Part 2
20 - Avril's Film
21 - Adelaide's Okay
22 - Behind the News
23 - TV Shows
24 - Remote Control Generation
25 - Mushroom Risotto
26 - Nothing to See Here
27 - Star Wars Love Song
28 - Royal Drinking Song
29 - Get Knotted
30 - Strange Dimensional Vortex Man
31 - Geek Eye for the Jock Guy
32 - Aria Awards
33 - Russell Crowe's Apology
34 - World According to Carp
35 - Controversial Song
36 - Jizmo's Dead
37 - Summer Bay
38 - You Can Keep Your Leonardo
39 - Martin the Manchild
40 - Banana Rap
41 - When You're a Boy
42 - Meg Ryan
43 - Monkey
44 - Anna Kornikova
45 - Tom Cruise Song




 < Previous Section    Next Section >

Sporting Tributes
   
Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
 
Yon: October, 2002. Luke Ricketson, star of... the rugby... (we'd be more specific but we're from Melbourne)... has pulled his hamstring during an horrific hamstring-related accident. The sponsors are worried, the fans mortified. But what medicine can't cure, military science can improve...
   
Tripod: We can rebuild him!
Gatesy: We mustn't give up on our man.
Tripod: 'Cause training killed him,
Gatesy: We have to let him loose to kill other men, this weekend.
   
Tripod: Where would we be without our athlete population?
  We have to all feel adequate.
  No-one to envy or to feel inferior to in the playground,
  The kids will make do.
  They'll have to emulate artists and scholars.
   
Gatesy: How long will the operation take, Doctor?
Yon: I don't know. How long's a piece of hamstring?
   
Tripod: We can rebuild him!
Gatesy: Get the bone saw and the grafting knife.
Tripod: We'll polyfill him.
Gatesy: We can retool him for a better life,
Tripod: A better life.
   
  We've only got four days to get him strong and speedy,
  We'll have to improvise and get bits off Sean Eady.
  We might as well take the whole leg,
  Not just the hamstring, while we got him.
  He doesn't need 'em.
Scod: Do you think he's heard of motorbikes?
   
Tripod: Since we've got him on the table,
Scod: Let's build a super athlete.
  Have a sportsman playing anything he likes,
Tripod: Shooting hoops or riding bikes,
  Catching fish or flying kites,
  He could play on girls' or boys' teams 'cause we'll make him a hermaphrodite.
   
  We can rebuild him/her!
   
Gatesy: In a shock controversial move, surgeons today have made Luke Ricardson into a weird man/woman. Some pigtailed/mulleted arrangement - we haven't seen this kind of gender-bending since the lead singer of Placebo.
   
Gatesy and Scod: We can rebuild him!
Yon: He'll have Dave Boon's moustache and Tatiana's pole skills,
Tripod: Rebuild him...
Yon: Akamanis' peroxide,
Yon and Gatesy: We can rebuild him!
Scod: We'll take the Dalai Lama's head and graft it on.
   
Tripod: We can rebuild him!
Gatesy and Scod: We can rebuild him...
Yon: It's what we've needed all along.
Gatesy and Scod: We can rebuild him...
Yon: He'll be a statesman and a holy man of sport.
Tripod: We can rebuild him!

< Previous Section    Next Section >

Top of Page

Please remember that all of this content remains the intellectual property of Tripod.