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Donate Your Body Parts
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Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
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Tripod:
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I'm donating my parts to science,
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To increase the human knowledge.
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If we all know more than we did before...
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Scod:
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We could work out time travel!
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Gatesy:
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Go into space!
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Yon:
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Find out why Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows!
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Gatesy:
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Hi, we're Tripod.
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Scod:
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And we're Tripod.
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Gatesy:
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Have you ever died and been stuck with all these useless body parts? I know I have, and it's a pain.
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Yon:
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Well, come on down to "Pick a Body Part". Bring your tools and do it yourself. But remember, bring a friend, 'cause you can't hack apart your own decomposing body.
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Gatesy:
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When I died, I felt useless and unwanted. I had all these ribs lying around and I didn't know what to do with them. Now I've donated them to the Melbourne Conservatorium of Music. Now they have a new xylophone.
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Tripod:
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I'm donating my parts to science,
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To increase the human knowedge.
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If we all know more than we did before...
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Scod:
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We could do stem cell research!
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Gatesy:
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Find a cure for cancer!
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Yon:
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Find out what chicken nuggets are made of!
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Scod:
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Here are some famous people:
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Yon:
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I'm Sting,
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Gatesy:
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I'm J-Lo,
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Yon:
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And I'm Shakira.
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Scod:
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And here are some famous people who will also talk about our product:
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Gatesy:
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Hello, I'm Prince Charles,
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Yon:
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I'm Shaggy,
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Scod:
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And I'm Matt Shervington.
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Gatesy:
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That's not Matt Shervington, that's Samuel Johnson.
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Yeah, there we go!
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(Audience cheer)
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Yon:
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That was easy.
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Gatesy:
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That was easy!
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Scod:
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Oh yeah!
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Gatesy:
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Easy as that, people.
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(Prince Charles) In order to illustrate my point, I should sing a princely kind of song, surely:
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Gatesy:
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You don't have to be beautiful,
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To donate your parts.
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Just leave your body, baby,
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To science or the arts.
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Gatesy:
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For example, just the other day,
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My Gran donated her teeth.
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They accepted them but threw them away,
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'Cause they were just being nice.
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Gatesy:
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Now, I'm here with Shaggy, leader of the hit pop group - Shaggy! I must admit, you're a bit shorter in real life.
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Yon:
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(Shaggy) Life is one big party when you're still young,
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But who's going to take your parts when you're all done?
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I'm gonna have to donate my mojo,
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'Cause I gave away my voicebox long ago.
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Scod:
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Just sign the...
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(Audience cheer)
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Scod:
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Oh God...
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Gatesy:
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That easy! Geeze, I feel dirty.
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Scod:
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Just sign the release forms,
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When you're mourning, baby.
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Tripod:
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Just sign the release forms,
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When you're mourning, baby.
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Gatesy:
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Now, Shaggy, can you tell us about "Pick a Body Part"?
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Yon:
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Well, Prince Charles, you sign away all your body parts... (gets gradually more unintelligable)
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Gatesy:
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Sorry, what's happening to your voice?
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Yon:
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(Barely understandable) Well, this is what it sounds like when I don't sing. Don't make me talk, I already told you that...
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Gatesy:
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Thank you... now, now, Samuel Johnson/Matt Shervington.
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Scod:
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Yes?
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Gatesy:
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What body part have you pledged to donate to the foundation?
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Scod:
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Well, they were studying aerodynamics...
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Gatesy:
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Now, Matt Shervington, be honest.
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Scod:
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Well, they were interested in endorphins...
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Gatesy:
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No, Matt Shervington, don't beat around the bush.
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Scod:
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They wanted my cock.
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Gatesy:
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Yes, they're all the same, aren't they? They only want one thing.
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Yon:
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Same over here.
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Tripod:
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I'm donating my parts to science,
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Gatesy:
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Everybody!
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Tripod:
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To increase the human knowledge.
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If we all know more than we did before,
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Scod:
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I could break the world record!
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Gatesy:
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I could be the King!
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Yon:
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And I could... (becomes unintelligable)
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Gatesy and Scod:
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What?!
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Tripod:
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I'm donating my parts to science!
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Gatesy:
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Thank you very much!
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