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Iraqi Information Minister
   
Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
 
Adam: Take it away, Tripod - dermophilia [having sex with trees], slagging off [another comedy festival comedian], fish fingers, and the Iraqi Info Minister!
   
Gatesy: In these uncertain times,
  My head's so full of noise pollution.
  With all these problems on my mind,
  It's so hard to find a solution.
   
Yon: Why do men have breasts,
  And why don't they wear ties?
  Aren't they related,
  Tell me please.
   
Scod: The media and politicians,
  Fill my head with lies.
Tripod: And I can't see the forest,
  For the trees... the trees... the trees...
   
Tripod: Trees... mmmm... oh God... mmmm...
   
Scod: Where was I? I just got distracted,
Tripod: Oh yeah, I was in a quandry.
   
Yon: I wish I was incisive,
  Like that other guy I know.
  An Adelaide comedian,
  I went and saw his show.
   
  Justin Hamilton,
  That sexy little whore.
  He always leaves his audience,
  Wanting more.
   
Tripod: He leaves... his audience... leaves... leaves... oh...
Scod: Oh... not again...
Gatesy: Leaves...
   
Tripod: I need someone I can trust,
  Someone who's got it all sussed,
  See him rising from the dust.
  In a world so cold and sinister,
  Won't you help me,
  Iraqi Information Minister?
   
Scod: Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever, Tripod get multi-instrumental!
  Gatesy and Yon on the fish finger solo!
   
  (Scod keeps playing while Gatesy plays a drum beat on the fish finger box with the frozen fish fingers)
  (Gatesy starts throwing the fish fingers into the crowd)
   
Scod: Okay... umm... now sing again...
   
Yon: (To the radio listeners) If you're listening, that bit was really good.
   
Gatesy: Yeah!
Yon: Oh, where are we?
   
Gatesy: (To the audience) Don't give the fish fingers back!
   
Scod: He's a man who trusts himself,
Gatesy: He won't let his eyes deceive him.
Yon: He talks such shit with absolute conviction,
Tripod: You can't help but believe him.
   
Yon: Oh, I think we're back on Justin Hamilton now.
   
Tripod: I need someone I can trust...
Yon: With his rough, dry skin...
Gatesy and Scod: He's got it all sussed...
Yon: It's like bark...
Gatesy and Scod: See him rising from the dust...
Yon: And his willowy arms...
Gatesy and Scod: In a world so cold and sinister,
  Won't you help me...
Yon: And his Japanese bonsai cock-and-balls...
   
Tripod: Iraqi Information Minister?

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