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Geek Eye for the Jock Guy

   
Download the mp3 of this song from the Triple J website.
 
Adam: Tripod this morning are doing a new challenge, it's "Geek Eye for the Jock Guy". What can these lovely geeks tell the jocks of the world, now that geeks are the new chic? And in particular we want a reference to a body part being sung about, and its function - but not the heart, not the eyes, not the mouth - some other body part and its function. And you threw in at the last second:
Wil: Yeah, can we have an emotional "Australian Idol"-style eviction, and then having to sing that last bit of the song through tears and choked apologies.
Adam: Tripod, "Geek Eye for the Jock Guy"...
   
Scod: All right.
  One, two, you know what to do!
   
Tripod: Just listen to a geek and,
  You can turn your life around.
  We're your shining beacon,
  You can seek us out before you run aground.
   
  Throw your Gatorade away, my sporty friend.
  Pizza boxes are the order of the day.
   
  It's "Geek Eye for the Jock Guy".
   
Gatesy: Welcome back to "Geek Eye for the Jock Guy". Last week, we showed Max, the star ??? for covert pistons, how to make the difficult transition between normal Trivial Pursuit and Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.
  Let's meet the team! They're the awesome... fivesome.
   
Tripod: It's "Geek Eye for the Jock Guy".
   
Gatesy: Andrew:
Yon: Ah, quantum theory's my speciality. Oh, I also have a doctorate in bio-mechanics, but I've been asked to stay within the classification of... of what they've called me in the show...
Gatesy: (Interrupting) That's great, Andrew, that's great, thank you.
   
  Next, Michael:
Yon: I'm the drama captain. I play all the lady parts at my all-boys school.
   
Gatesy: John:
Yon: I'm into dungeons.
   
Gatesy: Jack:
Yon: And I'm into dragons.
   
Gatesy: And Scott:
Scod: I'm in Tripod.
   
Tripod: It's "Geek Eye for the Jock Guy".
   
Gatesy: Let's meet our jock for the week. Davin. He's a goal keeper for the... rugby. He's also an excellent basketball... swimmer. Davin's challenge is to impress the girl he's already going out with.
   
Yon and Scod: This week is a challenge,
  For our rag-tag fleet of nerds.
  Did you just spot that that's a quote,
  From Battlestar Galactica?
   
Scod: Did you spot the reference, Davin?
Yon: No.
Scod: Well, we've got a lot of work to do, then. But don't beat yourself up over it - someone else will beat you up for that!
   
Gatesy: How to dress like a nerd - John from Dungeons, and Jack from Dragons:
Yon: (Jack) I think it'd be excellent if you had a cloak of magnificence +4, yes, I think that'd be excellent...
  (John) Yes, that's a great idea, that's a really good idea, Jack. Yes, a...a...a...a...and a Dinosaur Junior T-shirt, chicks love that, maybe a...
Gatesy: (Interrupting) How... how... - Shut up!
Scod: Shut up!
   
Gatesy: How to kiss like a girl.
  No! How to kiss a girl. Oh, I read that wrong, sorry! Andrew, quantum theory:
Yon: Well, according to Steven Hawking...
   
Gatesy: (Interrupting) How to impress a girl. Michael, drama captain:
Yon: Well, girls are often impressed by positions of status, such as being a modern Major-General, or Captain of the Pinafore.
   
Gatesy: How to speak like a geek. Scod:
Scod: Well, it's all to do with the epiglottis.
Gatesy: Right.
   
Scod: And by the way, Gatesy, you're voted off!
Gatesy: WHAT?!
Scod: Well, we didn't have much time.
Gatesy: That's bullshit, I'm the host of the show!
Scod: Just sing the song!
   
Gatesy: (Tearfully) Just listen to a geek and,
  You can turn your life around.
Gatesy: I can't believe this.
Scod: Yeah, man.
Gatesy: We're your shining beacon,
  You can seek us out before you run aground.
Scod: You've done your family proud, mate.
   
Gatesy: (Sobbing) Throw your Gatorade... my friend...
  ... Pizza boxes are the...
Gatesy: (Dissolves into sobbing)
   
Yon and Scod: It's "Geek Eye for the Jock Guy"...
   
Gatesy: (Sobbing) Bastards...

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