|
Aria Awards
|
| |
|
|
Adam:
|
Tripod have to attempt to win those seven Aria categories you've just named [Pop, Dance, Country, Jazz, World, Children's, Rock], with a song about the life and times of Princess Diana, and also including one of those Telstra phone interpreters where you say something and it sends you back something completely different. Best of luck, Tripod - take it away!
|
|
|
|
|
Gatesy:
|
This is down to the wire, people...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rock!
|
|
Scod:
|
This is the Rock bit.
|
|
|
|
|
Gatesy:
|
Heeeeeeeyyyy... yeah...
|
|
|
|
|
Tripod:
|
It was a Thursday afternoon,
|
|
|
And he was cleaning out the basement,
|
|
|
Of a non-specified kindergarten,
|
|
|
In the UK.
|
|
|
|
|
|
He knew apparently she used to work there,
|
|
|
Back when her name was "Ordinary Person Diana".
|
|
|
Dividing the milk into segments,
|
|
|
And making the oranges.
|
|
|
|
|
Yon and Gatesy:
|
He cleared the dust away,
|
|
Scod:
|
From the top of the box,
|
|
Yon:
|
And just discovered more dust.
|
|
|
|
|
Tripod:
|
Within the dust, there was a layer of dust,
|
|
Scod:
|
Covered in dust,
|
|
|
So he gave up on the box,
|
|
Yon:
|
And turned his attention to the suspicious,
|
|
|
And significant-looking pile of tapes.
|
|
|
|
|
Gatesy:
|
Yeah, that's right!
|
|
|
|
|
Gatesy:
|
Heeeeeeeyyyy...
|
|
|
|
|
Scod:
|
What next? Oh, right, the dance one.
|
|
|
|
|
Yon and Gatesy:
|
They were the lost Diana tapes,
|
|
|
They were the lost Diana tapes.
|
|
|
Inadvertently he had found,
|
|
|
In a whole heap underground,
|
|
|
A cornucopia of sound.
|
|
|
|
|
|
She was not only the Princess we had come to know,
|
|
Gatesy:
|
But Diana was the Princess of Pop...
|
|
|
|
|
|
(Pause)
|
|
|
|
|
Yon and Gatesy:
|
... Dance, Country, Jazz, World, Children's and Rock-and-Roll!
|
|
|
|
|
Yon:
|
(Computer voice) You said "Good Charlotte". Is this correct?
|
|
Gatesy:
|
No, I said "Rock and Roll", actually.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yon:
|
(Wails in an kind of Arabic style while Scod and Gatesy talk)
|
|
|
|
|
Scod:
|
Sounds like Eddie Vedder.
|
|
Gatesy:
|
Is that... is that supposed to be World music, man?
|
|
Scod:
|
If that's supposed to be World music, that's a bit racist.
|
|
Gatesy:
|
I don't... I don't know what country he's doing but I think he's being racist.
|
|
Scod:
|
Yeah, I think he is.
|
|
|
|
|
Yon:
|
If you can tell me what country that is, I'll stop.
|
|
|
(Starts wailing again)
|
|
|
|
|
Tripod:
|
And so he tried to release the material,
|
|
|
But Courtney Love filed a court injunction.
|
|
Scod:
|
And it looked like we'd never get to hear,
|
|
|
The Diana tapes.
|
|
|
|
|
Yon and Gatesy:
|
Bah-na-na bup bah-na-na-na-now!
|
|
|
|
|
Scod:
|
But Yoko Ono stepped in,
|
|
|
And took control of the estate.
|
|
|
And then the tapes ended up,
|
|
|
Marrying Michael Jackson.
|
|
|
|
|
Yon and Gatesy:
|
Bah-na-na bup bah-na-na-na-now!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Then Michael sold the tapes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bwa-bup-wa-nah-nah!
|
|
|
|
|
Gatesy:
|
At a cut-rate price,
|
|
|
To the Hooley Dooleys!
|
|
|
|
|
Gatesy:
|
Come on kids, bring it together! Yeah!
|
|
|
|
|
Tripod:
|
They were the lost Diana tapes,
|
|
Gatesy:
|
Dance with us!
|
|
Tripod:
|
They were the lost Diana tapes.
|
|
|
Inadvertently he had found,
|
|
|
In a whole heap underground,
|
|
Gatesy:
|
Come on!
|
|
Yon:
|
Do the cold sweet potato, kids!
|
|
|
|
|
Tripod:
|
She was not only the Princess we had come to know,
|
|
|
But Diana was the Princess of Pop...
|
|
|
|
|
|
(Pause)
|
|
|
|
|
Tripod:
|
... Dance, Country, Jazz, World, Children's and Rock-and-Roll!
|