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33 - Russell Crowe's Apology
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Russell Crowe's Apology
   
  (Many thanks to Lisa for these lyrics).
   
Scod: It’s important that we remember that the name of the producer in question was Malcolm, all right?
 
Gatesy: Malcolm, let me explain,
  Don’t worry 'bout my bodyguards.
  You put me through some pain.
  Please understand that life is hard,
  When you’re the world’s biggest tosser.
 
Yon: Just sit down and shut up,
  You know I find this hard to say.
  I need you to forgive me,
  Or Biff and Phil will rip your arms off.
 
Scod: I’m like Fonzy,
  I find it hard to say I’m sorry.
  And also if Mork ever came into the room I’d rip his head off.
 
Gatesy: But I’m not Fonzy or Mork or Daisy Duke,
  They call me Russell.
  I’m just a man,
  A man whose net worth and physical size strikes fear into the,
  Heart of anyone who likes music.
   
  I’ll apologise for anything,
  Do you know why?
 
Scod: 'Cause I want an Oscar.
 
Tripod: Everybody sing give him an Oscar,
  I want an Oscar.
  Everybody sing give him an Oscar.
 
Scod: I’m prepared to thank normal things,
  And do a gracious speech with no poetry at all,
  Just give me an Oscar.
 
Gatesy: Malcolm, let me explain,
  When I finish I’ll untie you.
Tripod: Aren’t we all in chains?
  Deep inside, we’re all the same.
   
  Doesn’t everybody sing in a terrible, terrible, terrible band?
  Doesn’t everybody sleep with Meg Ryan deep inside?
Gatesy: I’ll apologise for anything,
  Do you know why?
 
Tripod: I want an Oscar,
  Everybody sing give him an Oscar.
  I want an Oscar,
  Everybody sing give him an Oscar.
 
Scod: I’m prepared to thank normal things,
  And do a gracious speech with no poetry at all,
  Just give me an Oscar.
   
Tripod: I’ll go to any lengths to get my Oscar,
  All you have to do is name a thing and I’ll apologise for it.
 
Yon: Alright, um, the collapse of Ansett.
Gatesy and Scod: I’m sorry.
Yon: The axing of fear factor.
Gatesy and Scod: I’m sorry.
Yon: The show shafted.
Gatesy and Scod: I’m sorry.
Yon: Thirty Odd Foot of Grunt.
Gatesy and Scod: I’m sorry.
Yon: The Stolen Generation.
   
Tripod: I want an Oscar,
  Everybody sing give me an Oscar.
  I want an Oscar,
  Everybody sing give me an Oscar.
 
Scod: I’m prepared to thank normal things,
  And do an gracious speech with no poetry at all.
Gatesy: I won't do limericks or rhyming slang or a blank verse,
  Or even Japanese haiku.
   
  I’ll just apologise to you,
  There’s nothing I won’t do,
  Just give me a cotton picking Oscar.
   
  Malcolm, let me explain,
  Okay boys, take off the bull gag.

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