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Monkey
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(Many thanks to Belinda for these lyrics).
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(The challenge was to include Monkey (a weird Chinese show that was on after Rage on Saturday mornings on the ABC), the style of the Goodies, and home dentistry).
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Scod:
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All right, good luck fellas.
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Gatesy:
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Thank you.
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Scod:
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I wasn't talking to you!
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Gatesy:
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Taka Taka Buddha.
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Their father Buddha say,
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With thought we make the world,
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But with good teeth anything is possible.
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Look at Brad Pitt,
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Who needs to make the world.
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He gets to make the whoopee,
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Time and elemental forces caused an egg to hatch,
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From this egg came a Stoned Monkey.
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(Monkey voice) Pass the drum Sandy, this is good stuff.
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(Tripitaka voice) No no, Monkey, a stone monkey.
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(Monkey voice) What? I'm made of stone? You really are trippy... taka.
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The nature of Monkey was irrepressible.
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Scod:
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1, 2, 3, 4...
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Yon:
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Born from an egg on a mountain top,
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Funkiest Monkey to ever rock.
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Knew every magic trick under the sun,
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Tripod:
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Tease the gods and everyone.
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Hey hey hey Monkey!
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Gatesy:
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Monkeymonkeymonkey,
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Yon and Scod:
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Monkey!
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Gatesy:
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They're ready for you!
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Yon and Scod:
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Monkey!
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Gatesy:
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Monkeymonkeymonkey,
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Tripod:
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Here he comes on a cloud,
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Badly dubbed, getting down,
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Badadadadadadada badada,
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Badadadadadadada badada.
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Gatesy:
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(Monkey) Now Tripitaka, come clean. Peace has been restored to our land. We've killed all the bad guys, now tell me, you're a girl, aren't you?
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(Tripitaka) No, no, no, Monkey, I'm a bloke really, I love the footy.
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(Monkey) Well, what are they then?
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(Tripitaka) I told you before Monkey... these are manboobs. One day everyone will have them, right Merrick?
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Merrick:
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Yes (laughing)
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Gatesy:
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Later, Monkey and Sandy... you right?
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Merrick:
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Sorry, delayed reaction!
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Gatesy:
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Later, Monkey and Sandy have a heart to heart,
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Which was also an excellent television program.
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(Monkey) Sandy, how can I make Tripitaka notice me?
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Scod:
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(Sandy) It could be because of your teeth – they're awful, Monkey.
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Gatesy:
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(Monkey) Not as awful as your impersonation!
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Scod:
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(Sandy) Oh, I only had an hour, Monkey, what do you want? Anyway get into the chair, I work on you.
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Gatesy:
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(Monkey) Chair? That's no chair, that's a Jason Recliner.
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Scod:
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(Sandy) Rinse, Floss, Spit.
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Gatesy:
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Okay.
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Scod:
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Rinse, Floss, Spit.
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Gatesy:
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Hmmmmm, I like it.
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Scod:
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Rinse, Floss, Spit.
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Rinse, Floss, Spit.
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Gatesy:
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Teeth Teeth Teeth Teeth,
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Tripod:
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Everybody loves teeth!
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Gatesy:
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Teeth Teeth Teeth Teeth,
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Tripod:
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Everybody loves teeth!
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Gatesy:
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Teeth in the morning, teeth in the evening, everybody knows that teeth is best.
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Teeth Teeth Teeth Teeth,
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Everybody loves teeth!
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Gatesy:
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Sometimes the answer to our problems is right under our noses, behind our lips, in front of our tongues – Teeth! Teeth is what I'm trying to say, geez! Monkey never did win the affections of Tripitaka, but with his good teeth he did get a plumb role on "Home and Away". Sandy opened up his own dental practice in his living room and called it "Dental as anything" and for Pigsy, who gives a toss?
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Yon and Scod:
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(Sing the closing credits music of "Monkey" quietly)
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Gatesy:
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There's no joke in this song, It's just a great song, and we want to sing it, right?
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Scod:
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1, 2, 3, 4,
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Yon:
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Born from an egg on a mountain top,
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Funkiest Monkey to ever rock.
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Knew every magic trick under the sun,
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Tripod:
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Tease the gods and everyone.
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Hey hey hey Monkey!
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Gatesy:
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Monkeymonkeymonkey,
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Yon and Scod:
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Monkey!
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Gatesy:
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They're ready for you!
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Yon and Scod:
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Monkey!
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Gatesy:
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Monkeymonkeymonkey,
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Tripod:
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Here he comes on a cloud,
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Badly dubbed, getting down,
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Badadadadadadada badada,
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Badadadadadadada badada.
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Heeeeeey! Wooooooo!
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