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Enid Ahoy!
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Scod:
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(Annoyed) Tosswinkle is having a moment BY HIMSELF!
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Yon:
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Someday I will find her, it may not be today.
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I mean, if Enid turned up, right now,
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It would obviously be some sort of trap...
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Scod:
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Enid ahoy!
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Yon:
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You beauty!
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Aha! She's finally come for me! Gather the men! One-eyed Jack!
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Scod:
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Yep!
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Yon:
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Smelly Pete!
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Scod:
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Yep!
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Yon:
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Fucked Tom!
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Scod:
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Ye... do I have to be called that?
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Yon:
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Yes, you do have to be called that, now be quiet.
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I can't believe it, she's even more beautiful than I imagined. Look at her!
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(Drawing her outline in the air) Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six!
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Scod:
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... hundred yards, Captain!
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Yon:
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I like voluptuous.
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Scod:
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Yes, well, can I just suggest that that may not be an actual woman, Captain. Perhaps that's a two hundred foot high wooden structure with eyes painted on! I can't believe you've falled in love with that... thing. It's clearly a trap, it's clearly not a woman at all but a wooden thing.
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(Pause)
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Yon:
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You young people and your expectations of woman.
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How are you ever going to find your perfect partner when you have such a strict picture in your head of how she has to be? Oooh, "she mustn't be man-made and armed with batteries of cannons". "She mustn't have provisions to feed and shelter two hundred of the Queen's soldiers". Ho ho, and "she mustn't be a trap designed to send me to my doom" - it's like you've got some sort of checklist!
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Just listen to yourself! I know it's me saying the words... but, I'm imagining that's what's in your head. You are so superficial. Now, you can keep rattling on about what a woman can and can't be, but when you reach my age, you'll realise that your priorities change, eh?
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