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Tosswinkle Lyrics

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01 - Overture
02 - Welcome and Ad
03 - Main Theme
04 - Setting the Scene
05 - Peaceful Merchant Ship
06 - Let's Pretend We Never Met
07 - Ship Battle
08 - Dave
09 - Ghost Ship
10 - That Was a Close Call
11 - Enid
12 - Bubble Helicopter
13 - Soliloquy and Interrogation
14 - Everyone's a Tosser
15 - Building an Enid
16 - Die With Dignity
17 - Enid Ahoy!
18 - Showdown
19 - Return of the Ghost Ship
20 - The End
21 - Tosswinkle Megamix




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Return of the Ghost Ship

   
Scod: Wow! Goodness me! Is that my eyes deceiving me? Tosswinkle, what's that on the horizon?
Gatesy: What is it?
Yon: Oh my God, it's the Ghost Ship!
   
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
Gatesy: (To Yon) Coming to get YOU.
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
Gatesy: You're really fucked!
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
   
Gatesy: Actually, how can we be sure that that's the actual Ghost Ship?
   
Ghost Ship: MILKY DISCHARGE...
   
Gatesy: That's the one!
Scod: Yep.
Gatesy: Ha ha!
   
Ghost Ship: TOSSWINKLE! I HAVE COME FOR YOU AT LAST...
   
Yon: Wait! Wait. Before any Ghost Ships take any sinners away, can I just say this one thing?
  I kill people for personal gain. Okay? Sometimes just for sport. But do we not all hack people to death in our own way? I mean, maybe not with cutlass or cannon, but with pen or quill, or something else that might not seem immediately threatening. For was it once not said, "The pen is mightier than the sword"? This is particularly true if the pen shoots out bolts of lightning, or a poisonous gas. Or is one of those sword-pens. For the sword-pen is the mightiest of them all - combining the most deadly elements of its respective constituents. It comes in very, very handy, for example, if you're in a car accident, you can take down the other driver's details, and then stab them!
  So I'm being quite honest, I kill people for personal gain. The Admiral over here, he kills people for King and country, and to uphold the law, and to preserve life, and liberty.
  Now, I ask you, Mr Ship. Who between us is the more evil?
   
  (Pause)
   
Scod: And so the Ghost Ship took Admiral Gary Coleman instead.
Gatesy: WHAT?! WHAT?!
Scod: For the Ghost Ship... the Ghost Ship was scary, but it was no rocket scientist!
Gatesy: NO FUCKING WAY!
Yon and Scod: THE END!
Gatesy: (Stamping his feet) NO!

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