Ron stared as Hermione handed her books over to the Librarian, then turned to catch Harry's eye.

"Er, what happened to Madam Pince?" he whispered. Harry shrugged.

"Apparently she's on sabbatical. Dumbledore mentioned it during the welcoming feast. This is her replacement."

"A monkey?!"

An inkwell hit Ron on the nose. Hard.

"Really, Ron," said Hermione as she calmly handed over a banana and collected her books. "An orangutan is an ape, not a monkey."

"Ook!"

"How am I supposed to know that?" Ron demanded, wiping ink off his face with his sleeve. "Ape, monkey, what's the diff-"

"EEK!"

"Ow."

July '04