"So," Kalei murmured without turning around as she brushed Kurama's sparse white hair away from his face with tender fingers.  "It's time at last."

Botan's only reply was to wrap her arms around the youkai's shoulders, holding her close in a short but fierce embrace - before letting go.  Kalei finally turned her head, enough to give the Ferrygirl a small smile as she took Kurama's hand in her own.  Gentle as ever, she placed the aged hand in Botan's expectant palm.

/I hate this - but I couldn't let anyone else do it./

This was often the depressing side of her duties, visiting people who were about to die.  Visiting the elderly was normally better than coming for those who died before their time.  /But not in this case.  I'm grateful that I can ease his suffering - but what will become of him afterwards?/

Koenma and his father were the only people who cold answer that question.  She didn't quite dare ask Enma what his decision would be, and Koenma wouldn't tell her anything at all, simply turning aside with a scowl on his face whenever she brought the matter up.

/We'll find out soon enough,/ she sighed mentally, watching intently as Minamino Shuuichi breathed his last.  /We both will./

It was with a certain sense of relief that Botan beheld the youthful appearance of the spirit that rose from the lifeless corpse.

"You kept me waiting, Botan," he said, a little smile softening his words and his sorrowful green gaze.

"Ano, I'm sorry - "

"It's okay," he informed her, shaking his non-corporeal head at her apology.  "I've been waiting longer for another."

/What can I tell him?/  Botan bit her lip anxiously.

"He won't come," Kalei solved her dilemma for her.  "You know that."

"Ah," the red head nodded soberly at Kalei's statement, keeping his eyes fixed on the pink-eyed girl.  "Will you take me to him, Botan?"  Her eyes widened slightly at his request.  "Please?"

/It's against the rules - I'm supposed to take him straight to Reikai to see Koenma!  But - /  His emerald gaze caught and held hers, pleading quietly for her to help him.

"Kurama, I - "

"Botan!"

She almost jumped out of her skin as Koenma's voice shattered through the air.

"Koenma-sama, I was just - " she exclaimed as she fumbled for her communicator.

"Get to the koorime's island now - before Yukina succeeds in committing genocide!!!"

/Nani?!!/  His words shocked her mind, but her body responded unthinkingly to the urgency in his command.  In barely an instant she was on her oar, flying up into the Ningenkai sky towards the closest gate to Makai.

She wasn't alone.

"Kurama!" she protested his persistent presence as he accompanied her to Makai.

"Hiei will be there," the spirit insisted.

/I can't argue with him,/ she realized.  /I'll just have to tell Koenma-sama that it was a mistake.../  It was the least of her worries, after all.  /Why would Yukina do such a thing?  She's always been so gentle and kind...  And what does Koenma expect me to do about it?!  Kurama seems adamant that Hiei will be there; why would she listen to me if not to him?/

It didn't make any sense at all.  Fortunately she was making more head way against the icy gusts of wind that were buffeting at her than she was with her speculations.  /Almost there.../

"This way," Kurama urged in her ear, guiding her by what means she could only guess at.  "There!"

She gasped aloud as they rounded the curve of the mountain to behold at last their destination.  /Yukina - fighting?!  I never knew she was that strong!/

Then she noticed the bodies.

/Oh, Yukina.../

Some were frozen unnaturally blue, some encased in crystal, some with shards of ice piercing their flesh - and others completely unmarked.  They littered the pathway the returning koorime had taken leading up to and surrounding the only two youkai left standing.

"Yukina!" she cried out, only to have the name whipped away by the chilling winds.  She saw Yukina laugh briefly then raise her hands, cupping them as a small globe of shadow formed between them.  "Yukina, no!"

Desperately she pulled her oar upwards as the air around her seemed to chill even further.

/She's drawing all the heat out of the area - all of it!/

From far above the island, Botan watched in horror as what had seemed a region of death just moments before was now rendered completely and utterly lifeless.

There was only one exception.

"Yukina," she murmured, a tear spilling from her eye only to freeze solid on her cheek.  She began a slow descent, only to catch sight of one - no, two - more figures moving below, signs of life in that barren place.  The two were rapidly approaching the last of the koorime.  The first was just recognizable as Hiei, while the second was unknown to Botan.

Yukina was oblivious to them both.

/I have to tell her - I have to let her know - /

There was no warning, no time.  Her eyes widened - and it was too late.  Yukina had thrown the tiny sphere of darkness, casting it a the ground before her feet.

/No - oh no.../

There was a sickening crack that sent a shiver down her spine.  It was echoed from other parts of the island in a rapidly building symphony heralding destruction.  Hiei had almost reached his sister when the rock beneath her feet gave way, tumbling down into the darkness below.

"YUKIIINAAAA!!!"

He didn't hesitate, he simply jumped, following his twin as she hurtled downwards to the distant ground.

/NO!/  She dove down towards the crumbling island, preparing to head through the debris to catch the falling youkai.  /I can reach them both - I can make it - I have to make it!/

"HIKARIII!!!"

Startled, she flashed a quick glance in the direction of the shout - to see Kireina holding back a tall boy who was struggling against her grasp.  The blue-eyed youkai was doing her best to prevent a repetition of what had just occurred with the youkai twins.

/Damn!/

Another glance showed the girl, pieces of rock pelting her unprotected body, falling limply through the air - away from Yukina and Hiei.

/I can't save all three!/

There wasn't time for consideration.  She made her choice, and directed her oar towards the girl.  Weaving and winding her way through the maze of flying rock, she at last managed to come close to her, reaching out with one hand...

/Not enough!/

She stretched out further, extending her arm to its utmost limit.  Her fingertips brushed cloth, then grasped flesh, drawing in the small body and balancing it over her oar.  She sighed in relief as she slowly pulled out of her dive, trying desperately not to think of the other two who fell.

Ice-tears melting on her cheeks woke the girl from her faint.  "Grandmama," she whispered brokenly, before succumbing to slow, harsh sobs.

/Yukina's granddaughter,/ Botan identified her at last.  /Poor child./  She tried not to disturb the girl as she brushed at her own cheeks.

"Hikari!"  The boy was at her side as son as she landed, Kireina having released him when she ascertained that he wouldn't do anything rash.  Botan passed his sister over to him willingly, feeling her heart clench as she watched the human twins embrace each other for comfort.

/If only.../  She met Kireina's watery eyes briefly, then shook her head sadly, gazing down into the depths of the valley far below.  /Wait a minute!/  She spun around, looking this way and that for the spirit who had accompanied her here.

"Something else wrong?" Kireina asked quietly, her bitterly sorrowful tones low enough to prevent the children from hearing.  Botan hesitated only a moment before replying.

"Your father."

"Ah."  Kireina turned away, staring down at the remains of the koorime's floating island.  "I hope they can be happy now," she sighed.

/I hope so too.  That hope is all they have left - all three of them./

Hours passed before Botan returned to Reikai.  Despite her own misgivings, she assisted the other three in their quest to find any trace of the koorime-born twins.  They uncovered numerous bodies - but neither of the two they so desperately sought.  A combination of wanting to comfort the young Kuwabaras and Kireina and simultaneously avoid facing Koenma added to the Ferrygirl's delay, yet the demi-god did not greet her with the reproaches she feared.  /And deserve,/ she whispered silently in the corner of her mind.

He sat silently at his desk, his steepled hands obscuring her vision of his face making it impossible for her to determine his mood.  Files were strewn across his workspace - all koorime as far as she could see, with Yukina's lying open on the top of the pile - but he ignored them all.

"I was too late," she confessed at last, unable to bear his quiet gaze any longer.

He didn't reply, the silence lengthening once more.

"I lost Kurama," she admitted uncertainly.

Still silence.  What was he waiting for?  She hung her head, watching him from beneath her lashes, letting him have his way.

At long last, someone else broke the silence.

"Koenma-sama?" George poked his head tentatively around the door.  "Your father's back - and he wants to see you right away..."

Koenma placed his hands flat on the desk, pushing himself up slowly, his eyes never leaving Botan's as a small, pain-filled smile was revealed on his lips.

"I know," he answered at last.

Twice have I fallen from a height that may as well have been heaven.; twice has that fall led me to the depths of hell itself; twice have I survived to eke out my miserable existence.  Others might wonder at my perverse persistence, but the answer is quite simple: I live only to suffer - and to cause suffering, although I wish it were otherwise.

I don't mind my own pain now.  It's an old, old friend - my first friend in fact, and my most faithful.  Pain is something I can always rely on, something I can always believe in - it's what every other sensation becomes at last, when the momentary brightness has faded and reality sets in.

I couldn't bear witnessing their pain, even though I was the cause.  Especially so.  Their open wounds caused those in my own heart to fester, as I was unable to heal them - any of them.  Removing myself from proximity to the two I cared about was the only solution that made sense.  They would forget about me in time, they would stop hurting for me eventually, or so I thought.

I was wrong.

They both died because I was wrong - the two people who were most precious to me in all the worlds.

Now, after years of being alone, there is one more.

Hikari named her Yui.  It was another reminder.  Not that I needed it.  Her appearance alone is a painful remembrance of everything I had ever held dear - and lost.

It isn't just her emerald green eyes - although I could drown in their mysterious depths as easily as be whisked into the sky with their light laughter and joy.  Nor is it only her gentle touch, her care and compassion for all those around her no matter their identity or even species.  Everything about her simply draws me in, like a moth to a flame.

Will she burn me, too?  Or will I burn her?

I try to stay away, but every so often I succumb to the urge to watch over her, the need to protect her.  I can only hope that she can protect herself from me if needs be.  So far she has, my darkness not tainting her light; but then, children are easy to please.  Even now she is playing with the teargems my mother and sister shed, finding some tiny piece of joy in their sorrows.

Kireina catches her at it, playing games with the Kuwabara's heirlooms.  Yui can't understand what the fuss is about - to her they are simply pretty baubles - so Kireina tells her a story.  She tells Yui of how the pearls were made by women who were so sad that they couldn't contain that sadness, expelling it in their tears, then freezing them colder than winter ice so that no one else would ever know that sorrow.

It is a fitting story, but I can't help but be annoyed that Kireina had spoken of such suffering to Yui - she's still very young, and there's no need to take her innocence from her just yet...

I clench my fists as I see the liquid pool in her eyes, wishing that I dared confront Kireina about it yet unwilling to leave the concealing safety of my perch while the tear spills down her pale cheek.

And solidifies.