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When searching for Optometry-related sites on the internet, there are many rewarding places to visit, full of useful, helpful information. However, this isn't one of them.

Optomageddon is one Australian's lifetime exploration into the realities of optometry. The journal of his search for the truth (or the next best thing). It isn't always pretty, but then again, neither is he. So, make yourself comfortable, grab a drink, and feel free to enter his mind...

Visit the Old Meat Page. Click----------------------->Here<----------------------------

Here's the quote of the week, by a well known rep who shall remain nameless, following a somewhat curious incident between 2 optometrists at a recent product night in Brisbane:

I'd explain further, but my sides are hurting from laughing too much.
And here they were thinking that only Brendan Fevola can make such a total arse of himself at the bar, after having a few too many?
Seems some Brisbane optometrists can't hold their red in front of their peers either.
How embarrassing to the profession!! Such bad manners, in public!!
Wonder if the OAAOA will do something about it! (Yeah, right!)
Perhaps the optometrist in question should be exchanged for a player from Carlton?
Preferrably one with more talent, and thicker skin.
Oh, what a knight!
Teeheehee...

My saint bernard, Benny, died today.
He was having surgery after hurting his foot, and passed away under the anaesthetic.
What a shit day.

He was a gentle giant. 80kg of sook machine.
Sure, he once tried to eat Fart, but that's cause he probably tasted good, and most likely deserved it.
He'd forever try going between your legs for a head pat and an ear rub.
Which knocked you over, but he still loved doing it, just for the attention.
He'd be happy to spend his life lying at your feet, waiting for the next cuddle.
And I always knew, when I got home, he'd be laying at the gate waiting patiently for me.
And it always felt good to come home.

But time was catching up with him, and he was starting to show it.
He was 9 1/2, which is doing really well for a big dog like him.
I know, it's inevitable, but I'd give an awful lot for a few more weeks I don't now have.
And while I had my worries with the anaesthetic, it had to be done.
And now he's gone.

Gonna miss you horribly, you big goose. You've filled a big hole in my life, and I always knew you'd be there for me.
But I'll see you again oneday. Keep Stormy company till I get there.
And I know you'll be patiently waiting for me.

Hell, I dunno if that's the real date, but it's something like that ;)
Quick filler, before I tell you story of...The whole of Rocko's arse!
But that's next time. You'll have to wait for it ;)

Woman is in a checkout at the supermarket buying groceries. She leans over her trolley, and pulls out bananas, cucumbers, spam, steak, eggs, cereal, lettuce, tomatoes, leeks, milk...
and a cabbage.
The guy standing behind her watches her finally pull out the cabbage, and says to her "Hey, I bet you're single"
The woman says with surprise "Yes, I am! How did you know"
He replies "Cause you're ugly"

Went to have some breakfast this morning, on my way through to Toowoomba. Made the mistake in stopping in at an Ipswich McDonalds for some breakfast.
Ended up stuck next to some feral redneck kids from a local state high school, Ipswich State High.
Product of the environment. Quality children.

Dear Principal
This morning I was in McDonalds at Brassall at around 9.40am, sitting next to 4 girls from your school. While trying to eat breakfast amidst comments including, and I quote "What that girl did after taking a huge shit. It stank like hell", which was great table conversation to go down nicely with a coffee and Bacon and Egg McMuffin, another patron passing them said to them "Aren't you supposed to be at school", at which one of them replied in a smart arsed attitude "Why should we go to classes?". A number of the other patrons exchanged looks, in disgust, at their attitude.
I have no idea, and care little, which girls were involved, However, I'd like to pass on to them they should really spend a lot more time in that McDonalds, and others like them. After all, that'll be the full extent of their employment careers without a full education.
Would they like fries with that?

Don't say I never consider the greater needs of the community.

_______________________________
Saturday 22nd August, 2009. 7.09pm

Today, driving back from shopping, there was a large 4x4 in front of me.
We hit a set of lights, with a right turn only, and 2 straight ahead lanes.
We were both in the middle lane.
When the stupid prick turns on his right indicator, and tries going right.
We were stuck there. He couldn't turn right, because there were already cars in the right turn lane, and we couldn't move,because the arsehat was blocking all the traffic illegally.

So, did he realise he had nowhere to go, and just go ahead?
Course not.
Stupid bastard just sat there, with his right indicator on, holding up ALL the traffic.

So, I gave him a blast with my air horns.
Nothing.
Another blast.
He started waving his arms angrilly. Still nothing.
So, I had to try backing up and attempt to go around, without collecting the car behind me.
As I passed, I look in his window, and lo and behold, there's a Nigerian guy giving me the finger.
Cheshire cat eyes poking out of his dumbarse face.

Now, it's not that I get angry easily.
I do, but it's not that.
But I can tell you, he was a nano second away from getting a knuckle sandwich, and a whoopin' to match.
Because I'm absolutely fucking tired of these idiots!

Is this the first time I've seen this sort of shit?
Hell no.
It's almost a fucking joke. Around here, Nigerian people just can't fucking drive to save themselves..
They seem to have enough trouble pushing shopping trolleys around, let alone get them behind the wheel of a REAL car!
We welcome them to the country, allow them to keep their license obviously without testing them adequately, and they haven't a fucking clue what to do.
Over and over and fucking over I've seen this.
You see a Nigerian person in a car, and you almost piss yourself in fear of what stupidity they'll come up with!
Jesus H Christ on a pogo stick!

Does this make me a racist?
Personally, I've given up giving a shit what other people think.
If they want to brand me a racist, then I'm a fucking racist.
But at least I'm not a fucking retard who can't drive to save himself.

So, as an open comment to anyone from Sth Afrika, whether you be pirate or 419 internet scammer, coming to the country to live, not to mention the retarded idiots in Immigration and Queensland Transport who give the pricks licenses without testing them properly, do us all a favour.
As one of my ex staff members once said...You're not riding a fucking zebra here. This ain't fucking Kenya!
Your stupidity can get people killed.
So grow a fucking brain, and LEARN TO DRIVE!
Or piss off back to wherever the hell you came from, and get off the fucking road!

Well, it's been a few weeks now, and I've delayed it long enough.
The story has to get out there, before the rumors become unbelievable.
At least, when we start some rumors, anyway.

Anyways, as you may remember, last time we went to ODMA, Fart and I registered a few special names, just for the entertainment value.
So, this time, we thought we'd do the same.
Personally, Gowan Farquof was going to make a reappearance.
Fart, well, he'd given up on Jarque Orff, and went for something special.
Howie Cheetham, from Dewey, Cheetham and Howe Optometrists.

Since we registered early, we were simply sitting back, waiting for the new badges to arrive.
But, unbenownst to us, the ODMA police were on the case.
(A case of scotch, I think)

Fart gets a phone call at work.
You see, apparently Ms Officious Bitch, from the ODMA police, had tracked him down.
And she was NOT amused.

She thought Fart was childish (which he was), immature (which he is), and pretty damn hot and sexy (which I doubt).
But, especially, she was disgusted with his attempting to circumvent proper channels, and register as a childish, immature and hot/sexy names. In fact, she was so incensed, she threatened to report him to the authorities!

His reply?
"You're going to report me to the ODMA Police?
What are they going to do? Slap me?"

WELL, Fart!! You don't know the half of it!!
You see, I've done a little bit of research on this matter, and what I've found is shocking!
Here are some pictures I've dug up from the depths of the net...
These fuckers are serious!

So, you can see things were all set for a big showdown between Fart and the Orthometries.
But things weren't all fun and games.
Not even "Twister"
After hacking into some secret files we found stashed on an obscure optometry porn site, the darker side came to light, including....

Computer simulation models of ODMA police tackling intruders into the convention

Searching for concealed contraband 2007 HOYA umberellas
(The dangerous ones that stop you getting wet in the rain by immediately turning inside out on opening)

So, remember, kiddies...don't fuck with the ODMA police!
They'll bitch-slap you to oblivion.
Just ask them!
(Tell them Heywood Jablomey sent ya...)

I don't like people fucking with me.
It makes me angry.
And I have anger management issues even the Incredible Hulk would avoid.

So, when people fuck with me, it's a natural reaction to go diving straight for their jugular.
Well, a natural reaction of your a crazed sociopath, with anger management issues.

As in the case with Laurance, the internet eBayer who thoght screwing me over was a wise past-time.

Now, I had removed a CD stacker from my car quite a while back, since I didn't use it. Generally, I use my ipod for the rare times I need mass-musak.
So, the stacker went on eBay.
And Laurance decided to bid for it.
And won it, in fact! For a grand total of $45.00

As you do, I contacted Laurance, who said he'd be around Saturday arvo to pick it up.
So, I waited home all Saturday arvo, and he didn't bother.
Not a happy Rocko.

However, being the calm collected person I am, I sent Laurance another polite email, asking him when he was picking it up.
He failed to respond.
Although the son of a bitch DID mark the item as payment sent, which means not ONLY did I pay listing fees, but eBay charged me automatically with final value fees.
So, not only did the prick refuse to pay, but it COST me for the experience.

So, I reported him as a non-payer.
Which means, he's given a certain period of time, after which if he doesn't explain to eBay why he didn't collect, he gets slapped with "non-payment strike penalties" and I get my final value fees refunded.
A week later, he hadn't responded to them. He got striked, and I got my fees back.

So, I relisted the item (having to pay more bloody listing fees to do so), and it sold again...to a serious redneck buyer this time, who needed it for his Sandman panel van (really!), and who was VERY happy with it.
His feedback was " Great sellar fantastic item"
Peter Sellars, in fact! That's how great I was!

So, I won, so to speak.
However, there was still the matter of what to do with Laurance.
What to do...what to do...
Evil would be good. Yeah, lets do evil!

Feedback first.
You can't give negative feedback to arsehole buyers anymore, cause eBay is retarded, so the next best thing is to put nasty negative feedback in as positive feedback.

WARNING: Won bid& failed to collect/pay. Reported to ebay&unpaid strike awarded!

He then replied in his feedback::
Item faulty/not working when said it was,unpaid strike not left,bad ebayer

Now, my housemate who had been tracking the situation, had a suggestion.
Being basically as evil as I am, if not a slight bit more, his suggestion was very good.
Send him an erection problems DVD!

See, what numb-nuts Laurance had failed to register, is I have his full name, address, phone number and EVEN his year of birth.
Since the dick had used it as part of his login name!
What a dick...apparently a limp dick.

So, I hope you like your educational material, "Tiger".
You really deserved it!
After all, you DID apparently agree to be personally called for further advice on your "limpus dickus" issue.
They're sure to send you a prescription for "Mycoxafloppin"
Still, you must be pretty stupid to make me so angry!
Going off half-cocked like that! ;)

Old woman came in to see me around a week ago. Old client, who is now suffering a debilitating mental condition, confined to a wheelchair, as a semi-invalid.
She needs cataracts removed. Best correction was R+L 6/12, but when offered the opportunity last time for cataract surgery, she refused. Seems she's too "incapacitated" for cataract removal.
So, I dispensed extra strong add bifocals, to get her reading again.
When choosing a frame, the only one she liked was a premium model, which I had duplicate of for some reason. Since she really had her mind set on it, and I was feeling quite sorry for her, I gave it to her ludicrously cheap.

She came in to collect them today. Acting like a petulant child.
Firstly, they weren't the frames she wanted!! She wanted red ones!
Now, I knew damn well they WERE the ones she chose since, being a duplicate, I fucking well helped her choose them!
Then she wouldn't take them, because they weren't red.
So, resigning myself to a loss, I swapped them for the red model, which wasn't a duplicate.
No, it's not red! She wanted red!
Well, we didn't fucking well HAVE red! Not a single red one in the fucking range!

Then it started on the script!
They're blurry! I hate them!!
I swear, while shaking her head like a fucking spoiled child!
When told she would have to get used to them, since they were stronger, she refused!
So, I offered to remake them the same as her old pair. She flew into a tantrum.
Yep. A serious all-in hissy fucking tanty, from a 70 year old woman!
So, said I'd recheck them. She NEARLY threw them at me.
Which would have been one of the biggest mistakes she could have made, because I do NOT take shit from retards, no matter how old they are, and would have happily thrown them right back in her face!

Dawn was ropeable. She was almost ready to grab her by the head, and tell her off like a spoilt teenager!
Dawn don't take shit from nobody, trendsetter's, especially 'tards!

Finally, her husband took her to the car, then came back saying she wanted her money back.
So, while I didn't have to, I gave it back, just to be rid of them.
He knew the deal. She's off with the fucking fairies! Nuttier than a Snickers bar!

But my niceness only goes so far.
I told him, bluntly, they WERE the frames she had chosen. I fucking well helped her choose them.
I told him MORE bluntly, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with them, and she just needed to get used to them.
And I told him, point blank, that if she didn't get cataract surgery, nothing would help her.
Sucks to be her!

Regardless, don't come back till you grow a brain, 'tard!
Playtime for bratty kiddies is OVER!

Filed the documents to take Maggots mum to court today.
She's refusing to cut some trees that are growing through our communal boundary fence, which if left will destroy it.
It'd be smart to just remove them, but she ain' t smart. She ain't smart in such a way as a bag full of armpits ain't smart.
Then again, neither are her sons. Maggot and...err...Maggot.
We call them Maggot 1 and Maggot 2, just to save confusion.
Or jut Maggot, since they're 2 peas in a pod.
A genetically retarded pod, anyway.
And, like everything in life, good things comes in 2's...like swine flu and avian flu!

Now, I've often talked about them in a negative way.
It's not that they're retarded or anything. That'd suggest they have a genetic reason for being fucktards.
Well, they do...but the bulk of their problems is they're scumbag 'tards...
Lucky, lucky me.

Anyway, back to Maggots mum...who is going to court.
Just doesn't know it yet. The documents won't get to them for a few weeks.
So...what to do...what to do?

Do I tell them now? Just to give them extra time to go schizoid for my security cameras?
Or do I just wait for the formal documents to reach them, before the party starts!

Teeheehee! Just like Xmas, with 2 spastic presents...and it comes early in July!

What happens when the ODMA police crack a shit.
Why Sydney sucks really, really badly, even more than last time.
How Dawn is physically incapable of using a Microwave oven.
Why Swine Flu sucks donkey balls.
How many feral's it takes to change a light bulb
How to make a Weasel disappear into air in 30 seconds
Why air horns are the greatest car accessory imagineable
And many, many other wonderful stories.

Now I've transferred the files back to my laptop, it will all happen much more regularly.
Promise! Would I lie to you?
Umm, don't aswer that....

Over the past 2 weeks, we've received a number of older clients present to us for examinations, after receiving some very curious advice from the local Laubman and Pank store.
You see, when these people ask to be examined for hospital-issue specs, they're told by the staff at the Laubies store in question that they have no available appointments till September.

3 clients...over 2 weeks...
And you're booked out till September...
REALLY?
September??
That's really strange! Cause a friend of mine rang you late last week to see how booked up you really were, and you told HIM you could see him that week!
Admittedly, when you asked, he DID admit to having private health insurance...
Did the dollar signs suddenly light up behind your eyes, with a nice resounding "caching", when he rang?? ;)
Damn, you people must really want to make it very obvious to these pensoners you're not interested in seeing them!

Which is fine by me. Because, I then get to explain to them how you actually DO have appointments available for apparently "normal" people, who are happy spending money, but you obviously want to treat pensioners like the third rate citizens you think they are, and delay them for months just to make a point...
Whatever that fucked up point is, anyways.

Now, referring to the Medicare Memorandum of Understanding, as written in the gospel according to the "All knowing, all seeing, Weasel", it seems there are very clear guidelines on a clients entitlement to Medicare assessment.
After all, aren't you discriminating against pensioners by doing this?
Then again, that's the new standard in customer disservice, huh :)

However, why do you assume these people always get only free pension glasses?
Because, of the 3 we've seen in the past week, one upgraded to Transitions, and one bought their own frame.
Not masses of money by any means, but we still made a few hundred bucks out of them.
In addition to the Medicare money you missed out on.
You lost out 2 out of 3 times, just for being arseholes :)

But thanks for their business. Oh, and the business of their friends. And relatives. And everyone else they meet.
Because, rest assured, by the time I've finished seeing them, they know EXACTLY why you treated them like this :)
Because you can. No other reason.

Or, as one of the old guys you pissed of told me "Since they don't have time for me, I'm not going to bother cancelling the appointment I made in September. Give them a taste of their own medicine"
HAH!! S'funny!
Sucks to be you, Laubies! :)

I had thought that terrible customer service was limited to chain stores in Optics.
How wrong I was.
Our Fasta Pasta dining experience changed my opinion of that!

I could go on in detail about what we experienced tonight.
But I won't.
I'll let my email to their customer service department speak for itself...

Dear Fasta Pasta
I remember my first experience of dining at Fasta Pasta, in North Adelaide, back in the early 90's as being excellent. The pasta was fresh, extremely tasty, and we spent many enjoyable nights dining there with friends. It was a restaurant experience I gladly recommended to others.
How times have changed.
Over the past few years, we have been purchasing "Movie Meal Deals" on a regular basis from your (Blank) store in Queensland. Initially, the food was very good. However, more recently, we have seen it change, and not for the better. Last time, we felt things had gotten pretty bad but, always willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, we went again tonight before seeing a movie, thinking our las experience was a one-off. We had hoped not to be disappointed again.
That was our mistake.
When we first arrived, we were advised at the time of ordering that you were out of garlic and herb bread...the second time this had occured in a row. So, instead, they gave us a Foccacia Bianca, which was fine with us. I ordered the special of the day, with a mustard based sauce, and my housemate ordered Tortellini Pollo.
We took our seat, and our mains arrived within a few minutes...before either our drinks OR our garlic bread. The meals were dismal...the sauce was runny, and it floated in a tasteless blend of water, since the pasta had obviously been poorly drained. The taste of the meal was indescribable...literally...it was so tasteless, there was nothing to describe. We ended up piling on Parmesan cheese, just to give it some taste. Our drinks arrived, AFTER we asked the waitress for them, and then came our Bianca. I've eaten cardboard from Pizza Carton Bottoms that tasted better. It was undercooked, rubbery, poorly covered with topping, and had...literally...nothing on it but a tasteless mozzarella-like substance, that I doubt contained much in the way of a dairy-related product.
Neither of us could finish our meals, and we ended up leaving a substantial amount each on our plates.
In all, I'd say it was one of the most disappointing excuses for a dining experience we've ever experienced. The sauce was OBVIOUSLY not fresh, and made your company statement of FastaPasta being "the home of fresh pasta" nothing more than a very, very sad and tasteless joke...very much like the meal we were served. I've eaten Latina Fresh from Coles that tasted a damn sight better than the second rate excuse for a meal your restaurant served us tonight. Putting it perfectly bluntly, we couldn't have left fast enough.
But was that the end of our Fasta Pasta dining experience tonight?
Unfortunately not.
After leaving, both of us ended up with cramps, and prior to the movie starting, I had the pleasure of experiencing a nice case of diarhhea, which really topped off an otherwise shithouse evening.
I look back on the good old days, and shake my head. If this is the best your company can do, then you can shove it. You have my assurance that, regardless of the convenience, we will NEVER set foot in one of your restaurants again, and will be ensuring we advise any and all friends and coworkers of what we experienced.
So, please pass on my thanks to the monkeys both cooking in, and running, your (blank) store. They're an embarrassment to your name, and an insult to the memory of a company who has fallen so low, as to make the term "Fresh Pasta" nothing but a distant memory.
A disgusted...
Rocko Wallaby

PS: I'm looking for neither a refund nor a response to this letter, as I personally care little for any excuse your company can come up with. Personally, as I said, we have no intention of returning there...ever. But as a self employed business person, cutting costs and saving money is not the only way to ensure survival in tough conditions. Continue with this, and the public won't need to concern themselves with the quality of your menu. You won't be around to deliver it.

I'll BBIAB. Need to damage some Doulton, since I still got the squirts.
Bloody Fasta Pasta!

I see Specsavers has started advertising 2 pairs of complete glasses from $179.
I guess in response to Stupor Stores spilling the beans on the truth of their products, all over the media.
The truth hurts sometimes, especially when it's bad for business.
Not that Stupor Stores are coming clean on their OWN system. Cheap, deleted models sold at "miraculous" discounting, of up to 70%, and "free" to many private health fund customers!!
Mr Pot? Meet Mr Kettle.

Hell, you'd think the sheeple would have enough brains to realise you can't get something for nothing.
Then again, they ARE sheeple. A good mind-fucking with bullshit advertising, offering ludicrous deals that are too good to be true, still gets absorbed as fact.
Sheeple are stoopid. Ripe for having the wool pulled over their new discount glasses.

But this new discount war is just going to cut further into the profit margins of Specsavers franchisee's.
That's going to make their store owners happy, I'm sure.
It's a race to the bottom! Even if you win, you're still a loser.

Just makes it that bit harder for them to make a living, huh?
Or can they choose not to take part in the extra discounting?
They ARE independent optometrists, after all. Just ask Doug Perkins!! He says they are!
Aren't they? I mean, they DO get to choose to participate, don't they?
You know...don't they get to choose to participate in advertising that cuts the arse out of their own profits?
Cause, if they didn't, they wouldn't really be independent, huh?

Oh well. All I can say to them...Sucks to be you :)

On the web page, I often seem to make myself out to be a complete shithead.
While I do have my moments, in reality I'm a pretty nice guy.
Well, a nice guy you'd be stupid to cross, for sure, but a nice guy anyway.
The large bulk of my patients tend to be very happy with our service.
We offer them customer service above and beyond the call of duty.
And in return, they tend to be, as a whole, very loyal.
It's why we're still surviving in an economy that's gone to shit.

But then there are clients who have no concept of loyalty.
The Optometry Shoppers.
They don't give a shit about the quality of the goods.
Or the fact we actually care about their optical well being.
All they care about is how much they spend.
The bottom line. That's it. That's all that matters.
No loyalty. No respect. Just how much they have to pay.

I acknowledge this is part of the industry now. With all the little chain store whores screwing each other over on price, they breed clients like this. Clients who see optometrists not as health professionals, but as glasses sellers, to shop between for the cheapest deal.

Are they good for their business?
Yeah right. No loyalty is good for business?
Next time they'll go elsewhere, seeking the next cheapest price.
I really don't like these sort of clients much.
Not a bit in fact.

So, a few years ago, I had a good soul search on how I personally wanted to practice, and how I was going to deal with these patients.
Obviously, with Medicare restrictions, there are a lot of things you just have to swallow, much as I'd rather not.
But contact lenses are a different can of worms.

You see, in my practice, unless someone absolutely and positively meets the Medicare guidelines for a 10921 to 10930, they are treated as a PRIVATE patient.
We don't bulk bill their contact lens fitting. Nor do we bulk bill their follow up Rx checks.
While we do bulk bill all eye health checks, with private contact patients we either charge them a full non-rebatable fee or, if we know them (or are feeling particularly generous or sympathetic), we just do it at no charge. It keeps things simple.
In return, we have a quite detailed waiver/information sheet, that very specifically spells out the conditions under which we will sell private clients contact lenses. One of these conditions is that "We will not release contact lens prescriptions from the practice"
The client keeps the original, and we keep a copy on their file, for "future reference"
Since some people obviously have a quite poor memory of what their hands are signing, it helps cover us if they conveniently "forget" their obligations.

Now, I've had various fuck wit optometrists over the years question my "professional integrity" in doing this.
Their primary excuse seems to always fall back on the "Medicare requirements" for releasing prescriptions.
Strangely enough, a number of these wankers also sell mail order discount contacts to anyone who asks for them.
Clueless. Totally clueless.
What would be better, if these dick heads actually READ the Medicare guidelines before shooting off their fool mouths, and making arses of themselves.

So, why do it? Am I just being a prick? Just trying to screw over clients?
Hardly.

You see, as I've said on this web page before, many times, I'm not interested in seeing optom shoppers as private clients for contact lenses.
The fact is, I keep hearing from all these anal retentive dick heads in the industry that our professional time, as "qualified optometrists", is actually valuable. More valuable than our remuneration covers.
If this is indeed the case, why should I devalue my services offering cut-price contact lens fitting, to arse holes who don't value my services in return?
So I don't do it for several good reasons:

It's rare that a patient ever tries pulling a fast one on us. If we had one a year try it, it'd be lucky.
Mainly because I make it very, very clear from the moment they get into the optom room (and even earlier if possible) that we do not release contact lens scripts for private clients.
Once we explain the reasons, 99% of clients are bright enough to understand this policy, and the reasons behind it.
If they don't, they're advised that we are not prepared to see them for contact fitting, and they are asked to leave...immediately.
Yes, that's right. I ask them to leave.
How many leave? Oh, I'd say I've had 3-4 in the past 10 years.
Absolutely no loss whatsoever.
They don't have to like it. They just have to accept it.
And as I said, 99% of them do accept this. Happily, in fact.
But there is always one who thinks it doesn't apply to them, regardless of what sort of formal, legal document they've signed.

Now, this client originally came to us for the first time in late 2007. They'd been elsewhere before this, but said "They wanted to find someone else"
That should have been my warning alarm right there.
But no, as I said earlier, I'm a pretty nice guy most of the time. I tried helping him out.
So, I did the required full eye exam, as usual, which was bulk billed to Medicare, and then arranged to have him refitted for contact lenses.
I was so nice, I even did the refit for him at no charge, being an existing wearer, thinking to earn his loyalty in the future.
Stupid, stupid Rocko.
At the time, he was happy with this, and more than readily signed the aforementioned waiver form.
With a copy being put in his record, "for future reference"
A signed copy that sits right here before me, even as I type this rant.

He bought a 6 month supply of lenses on the day of the fit.
He then ordered some more about 6 months later.
Which, after several months of repeated calling, he failed to collect, and we were forced to return them for credit at our expense.
What a great, loyal customer he was.

So, it's no surprise that, 18 months later, we get a call from one of the local chain whore stores, asking for a copy of his contact prescription.
Now, their receptionist rang initially, and Dawn explained to her our policy.
She was unhappy with this. She insisted Dawn talk to me and ask me to forward it.
So, I rang her back, and again explained our policy. In detail. At length. I also told her they would need to refit him with contacts if they wanted to sell him some.
Which any idiot would realise is a GOOD thing!

I thought that would be the end of it.
My mistake. There's a sanctimonious git born every minute, and she was a good 1/2 hours worth of them.

Obviously, she had a big bitch to their weasel of an optometrist there.
Who thought it would be "wise" ringing me about it.
Very "wise" as it turns out, huh Weasel.

Firstly, he told me I had no right to not release the script.
I told him, it was our policy not to release private contact scripts.
He then told me I was in breach of the "Medicare memorandum of understanding"
I then had to explain...repeatedly...that the MMOU didn't apply to private clients, as the fitting wasn't conducted under Medicare.
DUR!
He then told me he had contacted Medicare himself, and that they told him I had to release it!
I then told him I had contacted Medicare also, quite a few years ago,speaking in depth to the then Medicare Liason Officer, to clarify this VERY point, and that no, I did not have to fucking release it!
PRIVATE CLIENT, FUCKWIT!!
He then started on how the client was really upset with us, and that the client wanted the Rx released.
I responded, saying if the client had wanted a script to take elsewhere, he shouldn't have signed the waiver form I have RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, which clearly states he accepted we would not release the prescription, but instead should have gone elsewhere from day one!
I then told him that I had no intentions in taking legal liability for a client buying contacts outside our control, and all he needed to do was retest him. Simple solution!

Well, it'd have be simple if Weasel wasn't a fucktard.
Know what he said?
That he had already retested and bulk billed him (What?? He was a -1.75DS contact wearer? How did you bulk bill the contact fitting, Weasel Boy? By your own understanding of it, isn't that clearly in violation of the MMOU, and therefore a clear cut case of Medicare fraud?) and that they had already dispensed the contacts!

I was really pretty well dumbfounded at that one!
If they retested him, and already had a contact script, WTF was he ringing me for???
Oh, of course! He wanted to be a sanctimonious officious little chain store weasel, and try rubbing my nose in something he was too fucking stupid and ignorant to comprehend.
What a fucking tool!

Obviously realising he had nothing to stand on, he began the whole "Oh, I'm just clarifying this for you, so we can explain to clients your policy. In the future, we'll just check them and, if they have any questions on it, they can contact you directly."
Oh, good try Weasel. You're a smarmy little prick aren't you.
Sure, send them over. I'll be more than happy to rub their noses in the legal document they signed, that I have in their posession. Just like I'll be more than happy to explain to them you're a dip stick who doesn't have a clue what you're talking about.
Won't be either the first or the last time, will it, numb nuts.
Go ahead. Make my day.

Mind you, it was pretty clear by the end of the "conversation" that even Weasel realised he had nowhere to go with the entire conversation.
He probably also began realising I was getting REALLY shitted off by his obnoxious attitude, and that being a competitor located so close to him, not to mention being significantly more established in the area than him, I could do quite a bit of damage to his own business in return, if he continued pissing me off.
So he ended the conversation with a "We're all optometry colleagues here, so come to my practice and we'll "make amends".
Really a very nice thing to say.
Although being a part of a big chain store, technically it isn't really HIS store, is it, but why let the facts get in the way of a good fantasy.
And, truth be told, if he wasn't such a smarmy little Weasel, I might have even done just that.

But he IS a smarmy little Weasel.
So, I guess I should respond to him in a way I hope he can understand.
Being a chain store lackey optometrist, I'll even type very slowly, to give him ample time to grasp the obvious.

You see, Weasel, I hate optometrists like you.
I hate you with a passion, in fact.
The entire reason optometry in this country is so fucked up, is because of sanctimonious little numb nuts just like you, who think you know what's "best" for the rest of us, and that you're opinion is always so fucking "right".
When it's pretty damn clear, you haven't the faintest, foggiest, fucking idea about much of anything.
Hiding behind the skirts of a chain store "ownership", rather than having the guts to open as a real independent optometrist, is a pretty dead giveaway of your cluelessness, huh.

So, please, feel free to take your "invitation", and shove it up your arse, Weasel.
Provided you can fit it in there next to your head.
It'd make me a very happy Rocko :) (<---See! A smiley face! I'm so clearly very, very happy!!!)

When I get bored, I get evil.
Quite evil.
At least, that's what Dawn says.
Umm, actually, that's what everyone says, really.
And, oh have I been bored this past week.

It really started last Tuesday, when my accountant gave me Farts BAS slip by mistake.
It was "Candy from a baby" material. After all, here I was holding his Tax form, with a figure written IN PENCIL.
ANYONE would have done what I did! ANYONE!

So, being both bored and evil that day, I changed the amount of his quarterly tax to $22,714.00. I then changed my fax machine name and number to that of our accountant, and faxed him the form.
I believe you could have kept a beer chilled in the cold sweat he broke out in ;)

Wednesday, my housemate needed a new radiator for his car. Given he'd ordered it locally, I picked it up for him just before 5pm.
And I was so bored.
So, I raced home, installed the radiator, and stuck his old one in the box, which I then put in the back of my car.
When he got home, I told him the new radiator was in.
About 15 minutes later, while in the shower, I hear a voice yell "WTF???"
Teeheehee.
So bored!

Finally, on Thursday, we "found Fart's cat"
No, that isn't really his phone number, but the flyers we printed were basically the same.
Stuck in strategic locations, outside his shop, on his car, the lift in the shopping centre, the local RSL, and many, many other "fun" places in the area, we sat back and played possum (Hah! Bad pun!), waiting for him to find them.
Oh, the terminal boredom ;)

Now, I try avoiding blowing my own trumpet.
Since it is, after all, such a large trumpet, which takes one heck of a lot of blowin'
But I am, for all intents and purposes, a 4x4 God.

You see, last Sunday my housemate came home from horse riding about lunchtime advising that the owner of the riding property had gotten his Hung Dong cheap arse Chinese 4x4 tractor bogged down to the axles. He wanted my help winching it out of the mud.

Now, I do have a 4x4 hand winch, and all the kit. Bought it years ago, when I planned a serious off road round-Oz 4x4 adventure, that never happened, because my Land Rover was a complete piece of shit, and kept dying.
Anyways, I've never used it. Never needed to, in fact. I have a snatchem strap.

Now, if you don't know what a snatchem strap is, it's a heavy duty elastic bungee-type cord, you attach between a 4x4 stuck in the bog, and a recovery vehicle, and, basically, "jerk" it out of the mud.
Crude, but effective...and very "fun" ;)

So, while I brought the winch with me, I first pulled out my snatchem strap, and attached it between the quite large tractor, and my wee little Hilux 4x4 4 cylinder diesel ute.

The tractor owner, and his neighbour, who had been trying to pull the first tractor out with another tractor, which was also getting bogged, sort of looked at me in disbelief.

Bah! I fart in the general direction of your derision!

After some attempts trying to get the owner to coordinate his tractor acceleration with my pulling ("No, that's the bloody reverse, you maroon!"), and after skidding my Hilux about 50 feet down a hill in the process, to their total disbelief, I yanked that sucker out of the bog, and back to freedom!

Acting so cool, you could keep beef in me for a month, I calmly packed up my strap, undid my shackles, and drove off into the sunset....a hoopy frood, who not only knows where his towel is, but has it all clean and fluffy.
So, A God I am....a redneck God perhaps, but a God nonetheless.

Sometimes I wonder whether a spam email is legitimate or not.
After all, some of the senders really go out of their way to make it all so believable.
And then, some don't.

Thank You
Optuzoo Online Email account team.
PS: To switch off email notifications of new messages, go to 'My Account' after you've logged in
© 2009 Optus Business Class Customers Operations

You know you've hit rock bottom when even the fishing attempts have hit the bottom of the primordial ooze.
Jesus, you'd have to be an idiot, wouldn't you...
An Optometry idiot

People say I'm a pessimist and fatalist when I say the world is completely screwed.
Sorry about that, but I truly believe it is.
Because, for every decent, hard working person out there trying to improve it, there are 10 feral piece of shit animals who don't give a flying fuck about anything, unless it affects them directly.
So, statistics alone say we're screwed.

Here's an example.
Bushfires destroy millions of dollars in property annually. Look what happened this year down in Victoria.
Many bushfires are indirectly lit by retards who chuck their cigarette butts out their car windows.
And yet, if you make them aware you saw them, and disagree with them doing it, the best response you'll receive is a finger or a curse, and the worst (as I got today) was have some feral lowlife road rage on your arse.

Now, smokers always seem to think they're singled out for harassment with this.
There was even a big outcry when the Government said they were going to bump up the tax on smoking to help clean up the billions (yes, BILLIONS) of discarded butts polluting the Australian environment and waterways every year. Not that the gutless shits in Government went ahead with it, mind.
Well, you know what? I have yet to see a non-smoker chuck THEIR cigarette butts out the windows.
Nor have I ever heard a smoker complain about having to breath in the filthy, contaminated, PUTRID air vomited up from the lungs of a non-smoker.

Smoking is a filthy, FILTHY habit.
If you smoke, you're an animal.
And, truth be told, if you were dead, you'd be no loss to society.
Sorry. Facts hurt. Just like dying of lung cancer.
But at least your time IS numbered. You can't smoke in pubs, or outside most buildings (apparently, although who the fuck knows polices THAT, since Queensland Health is useless as tits on a chook there)
Soon, you won't be able to smoke in cars. Outside ALL buildings. Basically, anywhere.
You'll finally truly be the pariah's you claim to be now.
Oh, and will I be happy to see that day come.

So, suck them in while you can, animals.
Soon, you're time will be gone.
And good fucking riddance to you.

As you can see, at the top of the site, I'm introducing a series of short anime-based editorials, as a community service to those poor lost souls who have been flocked.
After all, there's nothing worse than sheeple that's been flocked.
Nasty Sheepshaggers!

Sorry, been a while updating. had a crack in my laptop case, so arranged to send it back to ASUS for warranty. After 10 days, the retards from the freight company still hadn't collected it, so starting to get somewhat pissed off...

Anyways, what can I crap on about today?
Oh, the state election!!
Won by the Blight government again, unfortunately. But it just goes to show, South Park was right. If the choice is between a giant douche and a turd sandwich, it's a no-win all around.

However, I have to laugh at the reaction of the OAA, who had a sudden "miraculous" change of heart (and support) just before the election, after being promised therapeutics, the world, and lots and lots of eye candy, by the "then" labor Minister for Health, Stephen Robertson.
So, suddenly all support for Labor!

Shame he forgot to tell them he was being "relieved" of his portfolio after the election, and that a new minister would be taking his place.
I've heard of "Dead man walking", but I never thought anyone would believe they'll be around to buy next weeks round of drinks before!

Back to square one, then, huh fellahs ;)
That'll learn you to believe what a giant douche tells ya
But here's a little tip for your next round of talks. Just to save you a few microns of pain.
How do you know when a politician isn't lying to you?
When his lips stop moving.

Anyways, what else can I rant about?
Oh, I know!! Dipswitch's huge hole!
Or, rather, Dipswitch's NEW huge hole, since the place has already had one for years, called the "CBD".

Now, having been to Dipswitch on an unfortunate amount of occasions, I wasn't even remotely surprised to hear that a huge hole the size of a room had opened in the middle of their main streets.
You see, for years, they've been saying that the quantum singularity caused by all the vacuous heads located in the place would eventually combine and suck the town away.
It's just a shame the gravity well didn't suck a lot more of it away.

Now, I was having a good chat with a client from Dipswitch yesterday, who had apparently personally seen this giant hole in action.
He counted 27 council workers standing around it with shovels, while one was working an excavator.
Seriously. He wasn't kidding. 27.
Guess that's why it's going to cost Dipswitch Council $750,000 to fix, huh Piss-a-sale?
That's a LOT of shovels!

I had thought my idea was quite an elegant solution.
I suggested killing off all the lowlifes and ferals that infest the place, and filling up the hole with their corpses.
Simple, and elegant! Layer of concrete on top, bit of bitumen, and you'd not only fix the "hole" problem, but raise the IQ of the place almost up to "normal"
After all, it worked in the "old days"! For a while, anyway.
Plus, you wouldn't even need to stick up a sign that said "Free fill". A "win win"!

However, I guess the place is too "proactive" for that.
Besides, the clients idea was almost as good. That was to hold a council media conference in front of it, and kick them in to fill up the crater.
Equally elegant, really.

Oh, I know! PEOPLE ARE STUPID!
Yes, a general statement, but an extremely profound one!

You see, I went to Repco (the car people, that is) for some "Mud-grabber" floor mats, which have a deep pocket in the middle designed to hold mud and water, and stop it draining onto the carpets.

<--- Mud Grabber floor mats...obviously.

I already have one, for jet skiing, so I don't drip salt water on the carpet. However, since I'll be going to Fraser Island at Easter, I wanted one for the passenger side to keep sand and salt water off the car carpet.
So, going into the store, I went to the car mat section, and what did I see?
Oh, they had them alright. In fact, they had a lovely big cardboard infill panel located in the foot well of the mat, with the manufacturers details on it.
However, the retarded manufacturer had then used a "Needle tag gun" to attach the cardboard to the bottom of the floor mats not once, but 4 times, meaning you have 4 holes in the mat to let water through.

Btw. This is a needle tag gun, if you have no idea what it is. Makes holes with plastic tags through them.
Jesus, you'd have to be thick, wouldn't you???

So, I sent their head office a letter, as a courtesy, advising them "It was stupid"
Got a letter back from their head office, saying "Yes, it was", and they would look into it.
They also advised me for being "inconvenienced" (Which I wasn't), I could have 20% off my next purchase at the store.

So, Fart and I went back there today, to buy some camping gear with the 20% off.
And the bastards refused to honour it, since I wanted catalog items, and their "vouchers" weren't available for catalog items.

Now, considering it was an email from their regional manager, and not a "voucher", I wasn't real happy. Especially when the email had no such conditions printed on it.
Oh well. They lost $800 in sales, and can kiss my shiny metal ass now.

Admittedly, they had the same mats, with the same problem, at KMart, so it seems there's no shortage of the chromosomally challenged in this red-neck of the woods.

So, bought them at Stupercheap. Least they have a few spare neurons handy, and stick the barcodes on with glue.

Had an old lady come in last week for an eye test. Being the first client of the day, I showed her into the room with one hand, while bringing in my cup of coffee with the other.
Sitting in there taking her history, she began telling me how her friend had suggested she come see us, after being the client of another optom in the area.

Just as I sneakily snuck a large mouthful of coffee, the little old lady said, in a drawl..."Oh, yes, I didn't like him at all. He was a sleeeeazy little bastard!"

Well, shit! My immediate reaction was to stop the almost involuntary explosion of coffee gushing from my mouth, while I tried to hold in the hysterical laughter. Eventually controlling myself, I burst into cackling chuckles, which she then joined in.

Finally, I gasped to her "Damn, I nearly spurted coffee all over my computer!"
We both laughed again, and eventually went back to the test.

Well, she likes us, and didn't at all like him.
Not even a bit.
The sleeeezy little bastard he is!

I received Mivision earlier this week. I actually like Mivision. It has some interesting stuff in it, sometimes anyways, and tends to generally ignore the odious single minded claptrap associated with the publications produced by the separate optometry and dispensing organisations, who nowadays seem to think reporting industry concerns is less critical than bagging each others editorial content.

One of the articles had a story where Doug Perkins, of Specshavers fame, feels the definition of "Independent Optometrist" needed to be redefined, to encompass the greater good of all that is Specshavers.

Of course, this was immediately countered by his Australian Commercial Director, Mr Hornor, who advises us...repeatedly, in fact...that what Mr Perkins apparently "meant to say", wasn't what Mr Perkins ACTUALLY said...and, in fact, what he meant to say was something quite different to what he actually said, and had actually said repeatedly, and therefore I assume we all misrepresented him...actually.

Do you REALLY think so, Mr Hornor? Because, we're all really ready to believe that...IF YOU SAY SO!

Regardless, Mr Perkins I'm quite sorry, but as to your redefinition of "Independent", regardless of whether you meant to say it...repeatedly...or not, then I beg to disagree. I do so quite strongly, in fact.
Let me explain why...

Lets start with a few dictionary definitions of what, exactly, the word "Independent" means.
I'll check an English dictionary for you, just in case "Australian" is still a little difficult for you to grasp.

independent

–adjective

1.	not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself: an independent thinker.

2.	not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free: an independent businessman.

3.	not influenced by the thought or action of others: independent research.

4.	not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.

5.	not relying on another or others for aid or support.

6.	rejecting others' aid or support; refusing to be under obligation to others.

7.	possessing a competency: to be financially independent.

8.	sufficient to support a person without his having to work: an independent income.

9.	executed or originating outside a given unit, agency, business, etc.; external: an independent inquiry.

12.	working for oneself or for a small, privately owned business.

Notice, Mr Perkins, in particular, point 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 9, and, of course 12.
Which add up to the number 42, by chance. A number which is, remarkably, the answer to life, the universe, and everything, but should not also be considered indicative of some individuals IQ level.

Now, to ensure I'm not biased in my thinking (Which I never am, because I'm well aware that 99% of the time I'm actually right, and the other 1% of the time, the other person is incorrect), let me seek a second definition for you.

What the Oxford English Dictionary has to say about it...

After all, being from Oxford, in England, one would assume their definition is fairly clear cut for an Englishman to understand.
At least, that is what I would assume that's what I meant to assume.
Although, please feel free to correct me at any time if I'm mistaken, Mr Hornor.

Independent

• adjective 1 free from outside control or influence. 2 (of a country) self governing. 3 not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence. 4 not connected with another; separate. 5 (of broadcasting, a school, etc.) not supported by public funds.

Again, please pay PARTICULAR attention to points 1, 2, 3 (oh ESPECIALLY 3!!), 4, 7, 14, 27 and 336.

Yes, I made up the last 4 points, I admit. But at least I didn't make up my own spurious definition for the word "Independent".

Now, reading a dictionary definition can be a wee bit technical, it's true. Especially when relating it to the REAL world (unlike relating it to what the voices in ones head, which in my case often scream "Kill the unbelievers!!")

So, let me explain just HOW the above definition really is extremely unlikely to relate to the way in which Specshavers, and indeed, ANY franchiser, and their associated "independent" optometrists, actually function, by using the above definition to pretty much discredit any association between the words "Specshavers" and "Independent optometry".

1. Free from outside control or influence: Now, given the situation where an optical store is required to purchase all of their goods and services through their single parent entity, where the optical store must pay royalties and advertising fees and charges to this entity, where the parent entity has pretty much total control of not only the lease, but the amount being charged, has full access to the optical stores books, and, basically, can pretty much dictate many of the terms and conditions under which the optical store can operate, well....you see...that automatically and immediately excludes anything resembling the description of "Free from outside control and influence". It's really much closer to being an oxymoron, rather than a description, although I won't point fingers exactly where the "oxy" finishes, and the "moron" kicks in.

2. Self governing: This one is really fairly self explanatory, and relates to many of the points listed in 1. above. However, for the sake of form, let me offer a couple of examples... Can a Specshavers stores purchase any goods they desire? Can they REFUSE to purchase goods from Specshavers administration? Can they choose when and where to open, renegotiate leases directly with centre managements, order custom goods on approval from small suppliers, and other such "independent" activities? Well, I'm afraid, the definition of Independent also fails on point 2, doesn't it.

3. Not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence: Well, I don't think I'll bother going into detail with this one, apart from the clear fact that when the money comes in, someone gets first cut, and I'm afraid it isn't the "Independent" now, is it? "Strike 3", huh.

4. Not connected with another; separate: Now, this is the really interesting point. I could go on and on...and on and on....and on and on...err....and on ...about this one. However, again it's pretty much a moot point. I can certainly sum my argument up with one single example here. Lets say, hypothetically speaking, that an optometrist decides to join the "Specshavers" flock and then, at a later time, they decide that it is no longer a mutually "in my little happy place" relationship, and they decide to leave, can they do so freely, and without restrction? Because, IF they were "not connected with another", or were in fact "separate", then that is EXACTLY what they would be able to do. But they cannot, can they? Not by a long shot.

So, where should I stop? Do I go on and on....and...oh, I said this already, didn't I. Just for "shits and giggles", as my housemate always says, lets look at ANOTHER interesting definition, which more closely fits the model.

franchise (noun)

1. an authorization granted by a government or company to an individual or group enabling them to carry out specified commercial activities. 2 a business or service granted such a franchise.

NOW we're cooking...with gas! Does THIS seem especially familiar?
But what was that? This form of practice is completely different to "Independent" optometry, I hear you ask?

Well, Dur! Doesn't take a hat full of raccoons to work THAT one out, does it?
Or, perhaps it does.
Which is why so many franchisers seem to be deluding themselves into considering what they have to offer, is true "Independent" Optometry!
When, by the very definition of the word, it clearly isn't.

And while some people in the industry can spend their time twisting and corrupting the English language to suit their own marketing ploys in selling their franchise concept to the masses, only someone with the intellect of a potato would truly consider a franchise practice as an "Independent" operation.
You only have to ask a lot of the old Budget franchise operators just how "Independent" they really were, after they were "assimilated", to discover that the words are quite, quite mutually INDEPENDENT!

Teeheehee. Sorry. Bad pun there. That was a very bad joke.
A bit like using the word Independent to describe a franchise operation.
When you are, in fact, quite independent of being an independent, huh?

Of course, there was the comment from the OAAOA, who suggests you seem to have to be part of a buying group to "have a bit of muscle in the market place". Perhaps that is true. Personally, I see it as an excuse for those who seem incapable of negotiating a good discount, WITHOUT someone holding their hand and tapping thrice after they twinkle. If a buying group is free, then why not join! Bit like the Optoms Co-op. Which, if it ever seems to get anywhere, I might be interested in joining. However, if you have to PAY for the privelege, then screw that for a horny goat! Even the statistics say there are a lot more independents who are NOT part of a buying group, than those who are! So, how about you also keep your own redefinition of "Independent" to yourself, go back to playing with your toys...like therapeutics, and "Accreditation", and continue avoiding the big issues, like the economic crisis, and how chain stores and franchises are rogering up the industry for everyone.

That'd be useful, as usual. After all, it's going to be really handy being an "Accredited Therapeutic" optometrist, when your practice is owned by a chain store. Can see that helping. After all, we all know just how much extra profit being therapetically trained can make your practice, don't we.

So, as a final word to Mr Perkins, please make an attempt to use the English language in the manner in which it was conceived. It is your national language, and the Queen will get very, very angry with you, and possibly take you out the back for a stern talkin' to, explaining in great detail how she is not amused, if you continue lingustically whoring the language out to suit your particular situation. The franchisers may comprise a reasonably large section of the Australian Optical Market, but last I heard, they didn't control the English language and it's nuance.

Independent Optometry is INDEPENDENT! It always has been, and always will be.
You cannot be a franchise AND an Independent! They're mutually exclusive concepts!
And you will NEVER be independent!
Get over it. You're just embarrassing yourselves trying.

VIVA LA INDEPENDENCE!!!

Went out on the jet ski today. Damn nice day.
Stopped in Tipplers for a final drink.
And it was absolutely packed. Been there many, many times, and NEVER seen it so busy.
Boats EVERYWHERE. Hundreds of them, of every shape and size.
And over the top, the fly guys in the sea plane were making low passes, waving the wings as a final tribute to the place.
Seems we weren't the only ones giving it a farewell drink. Great thing to see.

Still, I actually felt pretty bad about it. Always enjoyed going there, and knowing it's all ending was pretty sad.
I'd already sent that 'tard, Ron Clark, a nasty email, so no point in sending the senile old fuck anything else.
Not that the stupid old fart can probably still read. Dementia has obviously already set in.
However, while getting a drink, I saw someone else had written a final message in large letters on the Bar's stage in blue chalk, which pretty much summed up my feelings nicely.
It said...

Ron Clark. Go Fuck Yourself.

You get some pretty strange customer service sometimes.
Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
And sometimes just stupid.

Take, as an example, the problem I experienced with the packet of crumpets I purchased from our local ALDI store yesterday afternoon.
Ate 2 that arvo, without paying much attention to them. Tasted OK.
Put the rest in the fridge, and grabbed them out for breakfast.
Only to find the remaining 4 covered in mould. After only buying them 12 hours previously.

Now, I'd thrown away the receipt, and we'd emptied the bin last night, so the crumpets then followed it.
But thought I'd ring them just to let them know. After all, odds are the rest in the store could be moldy too, not to mention there was always a chance the batch was fungi affected elsewhere.

So, rang their head office, because they refuse to give store numbers out.
Strange.
Spoke to a girl there, told her the deal, and asked if they could pass it onto the store manager.
After all, it'd probably be smart to check the stock, and see if they might poison anyone else.

Now, apart from the fact this does nothing to help out other clients at risk of buying contaminated products, one thought went straight through my mind
LAZY SHITS! Give me a break!
SLACK SLACK SLACK!!

So, beware the penicillin crumpets from ALDI.
Or should that be changed to MOULDI?
Unless you have the plague, or leprosy, or something.
Then ask for some botox cheese to go on them.
Can't be too safe.

Damn it all. I'm an unlucky bastard.
The anti-Midas touch I have. Everything I touch turns to shit.

Take, as an example, my Gold Lotto "WIN!"
Took out a lotto ticket on Valentines Day, 14th Feb.
Hoped for a win, for a change.

Now, in my Lotto purchase history, I've only ever won anything once.
A whole $40. Not bad for 20 years of occasional entries.
That was about a year ago. Prior to that, I had a perfect record of being a loser. That ruined it, but was hardly worth the effort.

So, I decided to finally check my numbers for the 14th.
One...two...three...four numbers! Shit, 2 off the big one.
Oh well, Division 4 is better than nothing. At least it'd get me another $40...

So, stuck the ticket in my wallet, then decided later to go have another look "just in case"

WTF? The numbers are different???
Shit! Only one number this time? What the frell?
DAMN!

It seems the first time, I got the date right, but not the Game.
The first time, I'd looked up the results for the Pools, instead of Gold Lotto.
Aw www, shit!

So, back to being a one shot loser.
Least I didn't make a complete arse of myself at the newsagents. Joys for small victories.
And yet, for some reason, that doesn't make me feel any better.

As per our usual plan, we spent Xmas over at South Stradbroke Island resort, fishing and jet skiing, and just taking it easy.
It's a somewhat feral place, but we like it. Very casual.
Or we did, until Ron Clark, the senile mayor of the Gold Coast, had the council purchase it, with plans of turning it into a homeless shelter.
I swear, where do these imbeciles like Clark come from? It's as if they get to a certain age, their brains shut down so independent sane thought is impossible, and then suddenly, up springs ideas such as "The Homeless Island", and "Lets have an unlimited water use weekend in the middle of the countries worst drought!"
Idiot.
But more on Ron Clark, professional meathead, later.

Anyways, one morning while on the island, I was sitting there watching the morning boats rock in, and noticed something odd.
Along with a group of tossers on high powered jet ski's, 2 almost identical Aqua Ducks...the racing-type inflatable's, pull up on the beach.
And they had identical rego numbers.
Admittedly, it was hard to see one of them, since the letters were applied with electrical tape.
And I would never have noticed if they hadn't been parked right next to each other.
However, it looked pretty damn dodgy.

Now, I'm a lot of things, but I am a bit of a stickler for some basic rules.
One of these is paying rego. For a whole host of reason, from insurance to just because I have to.
And I have to a lot. From 3 trailers, a jetski, a scooter, and 2 cars, I pay rego through the arse.

On the island, over the Xmas holidays, the police put a presence of a few officers, who ride around on 4 wheeler motorbikes and keep the peace.
Walking back to the unit, I came across 2 of them, and took one aside, mentioning the rego concern.
He said "Well, it's probably that they're similar, but we're going down there shortly and will check it out"
Similar wasn't exactly accurate, since "same" was more the deal, but why argue.

After grabbing a drink, I returned to the bach, to find my old man sitting by the water, coincidently just down from where the . I joined him, and awaited the mornings entertainment.

A few minutes later, along came 2 officers. They found the ducks, had a look...had a second look...and a third. One of them immediately went back to their cabin, for a radio and notebook.
Then the first one located the boats owners.
They didn't look happy. Not one bit.

After a lot of yelling and gesturing, they seemed to admit defeat. The police had obviously checked the details, found one had a false rego, so they both got charged. One for fraud, one for allowing it.

Now, my old man had no clue I'd tipped the cops off. He just thought it was good amusement.
So did I, in fact.

So, here's a little idea, for anyone trying to use fake rego on their vehicles.
IF you're stupid enough to do something like that, at least have the minimum intellect to NOT park next to each other.
Jesus, these people are stupid!

When you consider the Gold Coast City Council (who, for ease of typing, I'll just refer to as the "Wankers"), have very little support for this at all from the public, you have to ask what they're thinking.
Very little, I'd imagine.

Read it and weep.

So, "Ron and the Wankers" will destroy yet another Gold Coast icon, to the dismay of thousands of boaties and many more tourists.
At least, we can know that homeless people will look after the place.
Keep the environment clean.
Sure they will, Ron.

Sometimes, I take a good hard look at myself, and wonder whether I'm just a bit too critical of people.
I mean, I'm not perfect. Admittedly, I am pretty damn incredible, but not perfect.
At least not very perfect.
And perhaps I expect too much of people. After all, they're only human.
Some of them, anyway.

Then something else happens to shatter my delusion that the world is not absolutely, completely insane.

Such a something happened yet again today, when I received a poster in the mail titled "Optical Industry Guide to Safety 2009"

Look, it's not the concept that's stupid, since the concept does have merits. After all, a poster that gives suggestions and recommendations to improve workplace health and safety is really a rather good idea.
It's just when such an idea is implemented in a completely retarded way, it sort of defeats the entire purpose.

It started, when we received a long thin tube that Luke Skywalker might have mistaken as his spare light saber.
The tube was fine. I had no problems with the tube.
It was the sticker on the tube that I had problems with.
It said...

FOR IMMEDIATE DISPLAY
(in big highlighted letters, as if we didn't get the hint immediately, what with the long, thin important-looking tube and all)
The free information resource chart enclosed is designed to help educate your staff and raise awareness of key issues in the workplace.
Displaying the chart could save lives and will assist you in fulfilling your duty of care obligations.

Now, at first I was a bit put off by their choice of words to highlight in their text, which I've reproduced above. If the obvious use of the chart wasn't already pretty blatantly clear to even the densest dolt in your workplace, highlighting these words sure would help put a real grasp on it's use.
DUR!!!

Regardless, I had to ask myself a simple question. It's a simple, simple question, even a retarded simpleton could have answered.
Even the sort of simpleton who conceived the entire concept of this poster.
It was....

Who the fuck are these people to tell me, in my own practice, how to fulfill my duty to do ANYTHING??

I didn't ASK for their assistance! If I wanted such advice, I'd ask someone I knew and trusted, rather than some dick wads who felt it absolutely necessary to educate me on key issues that could save lives in my practice!

So I opened the poster. A poster they want every practice in Australia to IMMEDIATELY DISPLAY in their workplace.
And what did I see? A huge "SPECSAVERS" recruiting advertisement spread across the entire bottom of the poster.
Not to mention yet MORE recruiting spam which fell out of the tube after the poster.

Now, as I said above, I try and see the good things in everything and everyone.
It's just the bad things are so much more glaringly obvious.
And it begs the following question. One I will be fully frank, and brutally blunt, about...
And to make it even more brutally blunt, and full franked, I'll put it in bold capitals...
And red letters, just to be bluntly franked...

WHAT SORT OF FUCKWITS WOULD SEND A POSTER TO EVERY OPTOMETRY PRACTICE IN AUSTRALIA, WITH STAFF RECRUITING FOR THEIR COMPETITORS SPREAD ACROSS THE BOTTOM???

It's a serious question, isn't it? I mean, honest to God, are they so completely fucked in the head that they can't even see how obviously inappropriate using Specsavers as the major advertiser on such a poster really is, when they want their competitors to display it in a visible spot in their workplace?

Jesus! They just have to be. No practice in their right mind would display this sort of thing willingly!

So, as an open statement to the fools who sent out this poster.
I'm not exactly sure who you are, since it makes a lot of pointed references to organisations I'm fairly sure you're not directly associated with. Nor do I really care.
But rest assured, I have immediately displayed your poster in a most appropriate way.
And by display appropriately, I really mean I've shredded the retarded POS, and fulfilled my personal duty of care by burning the remains, then having my saint bernard piss on the ashes :)

However, thanks for the tube. I'm going to use it to booby trap the fire door in the emergency exit, so hopefully one of my staff might trip over it and fall down the stairs, hurting themselves in the most funnest way possible.
After all, the amusement factor of being safe only goes so far. After that, being a total arsehole is much more fun.

Oh, I know! PETA!
Who's Peta, you might ask?
Oh they're a bunch of loony animal lovers, who make going over the top much more interesting than just escaping criminals.
You see, Peta people are loony. Yep. LOONY!
So loony, even the loonies out there don't want direct association with them.
Too loony, you know.

So, am I not an animal lover?
I love animals!
Some of my best friends are animals!
Especially Fart. Although he does scare me a bit!

So, why are they loony?
Well, they have a tendency to come up with ideas that make George W Bush look sane.
Take, as an example, their current idea.. "Sea Kittens"

What are Sea Kittens?
Well, here's a link to their site. See if you can work it out.

Now, I could go on and on....and on and on and on.....and on and.....err....on....about how fucked up this is.
But why would I do that, when Stephen Colbert does a MUCH better job of it than I ever could!
So, click on the link below, and see what Mr Colbert has to say on PETA and the Sea Kittens. It's in the clip...somewhere...you'll just have to wait for it!

So much for the hiatus, huh ;)
Can't keep away. Dunno if that's a good or a bad thing.
Perhaps just a psychotic thing.

I think it's probably as much things have been REALLY pissing me off lately with optometry.
Is this a surprise? No, that's the point of this web page.
But I'm really annoyed at things atm.
Even more annoyed at them, than I am annoyed with the other shit currently in my life.

Well, I have to love the all-out hissy bitch war started between Sheepshaggers and Stupor store.
Both at each others throats on the media, as to who is the whoriest...err...cheapest.
My personal thought is they're both the same.
Same shit, same crap. Just the same.
Besides, we all know Lens Gro wins that war, hands down!
Or was that hands tied behind head, with legs spread?

Also have to love the fact that the massive amount of discounting being offered would have to suggest the chains are hurting.
Not enough, but they have to pay for those massive overheads, not to mention administration/franchise fees.
I really need to ask some franchise operators what it's like being milked of their cream, while being left with the skim.

But it's not all hookers and cheese out there in optometry.
It is pretty tough out there atm.
We've trimmed the fat down to bone, so at least we're still making a reasonable profit.
I have to question how many others are as lucky. Again, I would HATE to be a franchisee right about now.
But they signed in their own blood, to make a few bucks over the rest of it.
Lets hope they're making the $30K per week so many of them seem to be enticed with.
That, or they have a lot more blood to sign cheques to pay their bills with.

Well, we've had so many absolutely stupid things happen lately, I couldn't leave it go.
People are just too damned stupid. They MADE me update the site.
That, and the fact I downloaded the web editor software on my laptop, so have no excuse not to do so anymore.

Over the next weeks, I'll tell you all about them.
Like "That guy...from LOGAN!"
Lots of fun with Fart stuff!
How Dawn set fire to her oven, and rang me, because I'm clearly better than 000
Why every car should have air horns.
How fat people on scooters are NOT really bikies.
The Hilux from hell. Free!
How 2 inflatable boats can have the same rego number.
Why I think a certain organisation should stop fucking around with useless shit like accreditation, and start doing something USEFUL for a change!!!
Lots of stuff about the economic downturn you didn't want to know, but were stupid enough to ask.
And many, many more...
So many more...
Oh, Sweet Zombie Jesus...so very many more of them...Why won't they stop???

Just one for the road tho. I received an email recently from an optometrist, who was bewildered by one of our more stupid clients.
The story can be found under the menu listing of "Stupidity" where it so very much belongs.
The email was as follows:

Dear Rocko
I just read through your list of stories, and I just have to ask. The individual that came in with the pack of contacts and didn't know how to put them in -- were they running a scam of some kind? Sometimes the obvious flies right over my head, which may be the case this time, but for the life of me I have no idea what they were up to.

Hi there,

Unfortunately, no, it wasn't a scam. They were just very, very stupid ;)

If there's one thing that continues to amaze me over the years, is just how truly dumb some people can be.
Take, as another example, the 2 guys who came in to see us just last week. They had bought an Adidas nylon frame from us 5 years ago, and after stepping on them, had no lenses. They went to a local discount competitor for new lenses but, since they didn't have the original lenses, they were told they couldn't be done, as the competitor had no account with Adidas. So, what did the competitor do? They told them to come to us, so we could source some demos for them (at no charge, apparently), take them back to the competitor, so they could make the lenses.
Unbelievable. While I'll bend over backwards for MY clients, I certainly won't go out of my way for their clients!
I told them OUR lab could do it without the demos, at a very competitive price ;) However, being a deleted model (which it was), I wasn't prepared to ring Adidas to supply demos for our competitors to use.
The gall of them.

Stupid people. Make me grumpy.
And I seem to spend such a lot of my life grumpy ;>

Cheers,
Rocko

Stupid is as stupid does.
Lots of stupid, in fact.

So, welcome back. Hope you find what you're looking for.
After all, I spent a lot of time hiding it from you ;>

Welcome to the New Year. For what it's worth, I hope you all have a good one.

After a good soul search, and for a whole lot of personal reasons, I've decided to put the web page on hold for a while.
All going to plan, I'll be updating it again in the future, but until that time, and until further notice, the site is on hiatus.

Cheers all, and thanks for all your support.
Hopefully, I'll be back updating in the near future.
And again, have a Happy New Year.

Sorry I haven't updated the site as often as I used to. Had a lot on my plate lately.
Not to mention being tired, depressed, Angry, Grumpy, Sleepy, and several other of Snow White's dwarfs you haven't even heard of.

I hate to admit it, but it's true. I'm apparently even more professionally developed than they require.
Not a surprise really.
After all, I am amazing. Just ask me.

But it brought up a quandary. What the heck do yo do with the extra CE points.
They're no good this year.
And since the expire in 2 years anyway, thanks to the very strange system we have, they'll be no good in 2 years either.
So, I did the logical thing
I put them on eBay.

Heck, I can't use them, I don't need them, and perhaps I can make a few bucks from them!
So, if anyone's interested, be sure to bid ASAP. Given how amazing I am, they're sure to be popular.
After all, why would you accept normal CE, when you can have MY CE!!
At a price, of course.
So logical, Spock would be proud!

However, looking forward to the elections in the US.
Should be interesting.
Either, they'll have Obama as a new president.
Or they'll show themselves as the closet racist black guy haters they actually are.

Oh, send the KKK to kill the bastard, that's right.
Gives new meaning to character assasination, huh McCain, you silly old bastard!

Oh, and I was sent this.
Thanks for that :)
Might grow me one of those little Hitler moustache things for Movember, now!

Why is this place full of arseholes?
Truly! I swear, I'm an arsehole magnet.
Friday and Saturday proved it.

Had taken a day off Friday to do work around the shop. Nasty, dirty sweaty work, so I couldn't see clients.
That didn't satisfy one woman tho. She HAD to be seen on Friday.
My staff told her I couldn't see her since I was working.
Oh no. Not good enough. She HAD to be seen.
So, I warned her I might be a bit dirty, and to come in at 9am sharp, as I'd have to wait for her.
At least then I wouldn't miss much of the day.

I had planned on getting to the shop at 7am to start, since it's so damned hot atm.
But I thought I couldn't really see her filthy, so didn't go early.
Instead, I got there at 9am.
And waited
And waited.
And waited.
And she didn't show.

Was I pissed, having taken a day off to do work, and missing 3 hours of it because some bitch HAD to be seen, then didn't show?
Oh, you have no idea.

About 2 hours later, my staff asked me to do an adjustment.
Since I'd gone back working, I was beyond filthy. However, always ready to please, I came out the front to do it.

The woman I was doing it for started going on how bad her day had been.
I interrupted her. My patience was quite thin at that point, and I honestly had a zero care factor at the pissy little things that had been ruining her day.
Instead, I told her how MY day was.
"Well, I'm furious because I wasted 3 hours on some stupid cow who didn't show for a 9 o'clock appointment!"

Then I saw, due to frantic hand waving, my staffer pointing at the woman from behind her back.
Seems it was her.
Typical.
Then again, stuff it. Stuff her. Stuff all of them.
My days of apologising to scum are over.

Later, after she left, my staffer Dawn came out the back and said she was apparently really sorry, but didn't realise she HAD to be there at 9am.
I looked her in the face and said "Horseshit! I was sitting right next to you when you made the appointment, and heard everything both you and she said. We TOLD her if she couldn't make it to ring, since I was going out of my way to see her then. So, if she doesn't like it, you can pass her to me, and I'll tell her to FOAD myself!"
"Take her out of the database, and make a note on her record. She's not welcome here again. Let her go to the chain stores and see if they'll put up with her"

A guy who came in with a black shell frame broken at the bridge.
Says he bought it 18 months ago, and only had used it 8 times.

The case was bent beyond belief. Almost crushed, not to mention filthy.
The frame itself was worn everywhere and badly out of shape.
Very much like my patience, which was quite, quite over....

"Well, they're not 18 months old. You actually bought it 2 years ago, and there is no way this frame has been worn 8 times only"
"No, I've only used it 8 times!"
"Rubbish! It's bent to hell. Look at the case! It's damaged, the frames are totally bent, and not through sitting in their case!"

Anyways, we searched for a replacement frame. Found a brown frame
Not good enough. He wanted black.
So, scavenged for a black. Not available.
And, of course, being a compact progressive in a tiny frame, zero chance of a cutdown.
He nearly spat the dummy. Started getting very snippy.
Bad move. I wasn't having any of that. Not that day.

After turning the store over, I found a dark brown frame that fit pretty well, and gave him a take it or leave it option.
I told him we'd do it for his health fund rebate, to keep him happy.
He still wasn't happy. Sucks to be him.

However, I also told him it was a clearance frame, originally $299 RRP, and there was no manufacturers warranty with it.
Oh, trendsetters, he wasn't happy about that!

"What if it breaks as I leave the shop!"
"Well, if it breaks as you leave the shop, I'll replace it. However, if you break it in 3 months, I won't be. Nor are parts available for it"
"You can't do that! I'm entitled to a warranty"
"Actually, yes I can do that. On full price frames, I'll give you a full warranty. On this frame, which is a clearance, deleted model which will cost you only 20% of the original frame retail price, you won't be getting one. It's the only frame I have in the store that will fit these lenses, and it's too small to cut down to something else. I'm giving you formal notice of the lack of warranty, which will be noted on your record card, and I will happily remove the lenses if you decide you don't want them. However, it's a take it or leave it situation. Personally, I don't care either way"

Dawn brought his card out later, to show me the info.
Not only was he the husband of one of our most problematic, painful clients...
But he only paid $204 for the entire pair of glasses when he bought them 2 years ago.
A pair not with cheapo chainstore grads, but with Hoya Summit CD's.

Prick. He won't be getting anything like that again, as a no gap! He has my word on that.
I don't do freebies for arsehats.

Booked in Saturday 2 weeks ago, for a test, saying she was now picking up the glasses she had put a deposit on.
We looked for them. It was a $20 deposit, 5 months ago.
With the frame returned to the shelf and sold, since she never returned or responded to phone calls.

Dawn was frantically turning the shop upside down looking for a replacement pair.
I told her to stop wasting her time. After 5 months, the bitch has lost her deposit. She can take $20 off something else, or piss off
Shits sake, who do these people think we are? Their mother?
I don't wipe anyones arse, for any reason. They need to grow a brain and take responsibility for their own lives!

Dawn rang her the next week. Oh, no, it was OUR fault, apparently. We were wrong! She had booked in THIS Saturday!!
So, since she insisted on a later appointment, I waited 90 minutes past my other previous clients for her to show up...
And she didn't come. Again.

Told Dawn, if she wants another appointment, you do one of 2 things.
She either pays a $60 booking fee, which is forfiet if she doesn't attend next time, and then claims herself on Medicare with the receipt we give her after the test (Since I'm not bulk billing her for any reason)
OR...
She can piss off and DIE!

Are we all gullible?
Seriously. I mean, are we thick and stupid? A bunch of naive fools, who really are clueless?

Because we're all being treated like idiots, by the chain stores looking for "Franchisees"

Now, for a change, I'm not going to go into my normal "Chain stores are scum bags" routine. Instead, I'm going to be serious.
Although they are scum bags, and I shirly can be serious! ;)

This centre already has 2 optometrists in it. Laubies, and an independent.
We're outside the centre, in a building I own.
We pay very low rent, and make good profit margins (with our last quarter net profit being our best to date).
The 2 stores in the centre are paying through the arse for rent, in a centre that's only 18 months old, and is already seeing several large brand name stores closing due to the declining economy. The independent is, I've been led to believe, is struggling, but who knows.

So, along comes yet another Franchise store wonderland, who are considering opening a store, in the area of the same centre with the poorest traffic flow, right outside the Medicare office (and not much else) where they're sure to be inundated with pensioners and hossie patients...
And look at the economy. It's gone to shit, and will likely get a lot worse over the next few years before it gets better.
ANYONE opening a brand new store in a shopping centre in the current economy is a complete fool.

Now, I haven't had much to do with Franchise agreements.
Thank God.
Apart from knowing what happened to some friends who were part of the last big Optical Franchise fiasco, and all got screwed over royally.
However, I'm not stupid. Far from it. I can make a few educated guesses as to the terms and conditions of any Franchise agreement.

1. A person coming in as a Franchise operator has to pay the parent company a substantial amount in either Franchise startup costs, or ludicrous ongoing costs.
2. The parent company has total control of the lease, and can charge the franchisee basically anything they can get away with as rent.
3. The parent company can also tell the franchisee to piss off at the end of the Franchise agreement, or can not renew the lease, if they choose to.
4. If this occurs, any and all business development by the franchisee reverts to the parent company, who can then resell it to the next schmuck.
5. If you don't like it, as a franchaise, then tough titties. Here's 50 cents. Call 1800WHOCARES (as they don't exist).
BUT!! The most important of all!!
6. If the economy goes to shit, the business becomes umprofitable, and you fork basically all your money to the parent company for rent and franchaise fees, who do you think will go down for the count if the business folds? The parent company? HAR! You take one "for the team!".

The optom or dispenser takes 100% of the risk.
Pays huge sums of straight profit for the "benefit" of the parent company.
And will go down for the count if it doesn't work, likely losing everything in the process, including the store which will be then sold to the next fool.

So, again, I ask you. Are we stupid? Retarded?
Aren't we supposed to be educated people?
'Cause, personally, I can see a lemon from a mile away...and these franchaise agreements smell more than lemony fresh!
Why would you take all the risk, and none of the real profits?
Who CARES whether a store turns over $25,000 per week in sales, when you're hard pressed to earn $80K per year, with the rest of the profits being siphoned away to the parent company in bloated franchise and lease fees? It's not rocket science to work out that a 40% increase in sales is needed to overcome the 8-12% franchaise fees affecting gross profit!! More work, less money in your pocket!! All that bullshit about $1,000,000 sales stores...what a load of bullshit!! Ask the owners of these businesses what they actually take home every year!! As a Sales vs. profit percentage, It's sickening!
It's a huge, humongous bubble...all ready to burst.

Some other hard facts:
1. Next year, in Australia alone, another 200,000 people are expected to be out of work. This will just be the start of the economic downturn. (On the bright side, you are going to get better service at McDonalds when all the Gen Y'ers lose their jobs, and are replaced with business people who have lost theirs)
2. All major retail traders are bracing for one of the worst financial periods in history.
3. THEY ALL EXPECT THE ECONOMY TO GO TO SHIT! If they believe it, then we'd all better start believing it!
4. Regardless of what Rudd, Bush and the other government leaders are attempting, they can't support the housing market forever. It IS going to crash...badly. It's happening in the US, it's going to happen here (since our housing market is falsely inflated already) In the US, over ONE MILLION houses are foreclosed a MONTH! It's a staggering figure!
5. When it all does go to shit shortly, we hit depression. NOT recession...we could be so lucky! US already has. Millions will be out of work, self funded retirees will have substantially reduced incomes, food, oil and cost of living prices will skyrocket, and retail sales, including optometry-realted goods, will plummet. People will NOT have free money to spend on luxuries, INCLUDING optical!

Does this all sound like DOOM and Gloom"?
Of course it does! It IS DOOM AND GLOOM! Grab your ankles and kiss your ass goodbye!

Here's a simple little article, written by one of Australia's most successful real estate men.
I especially like the comment "He said in this climate the banks would show 'no mercy whatsoever'."
If you think the banks will be merciless to their clients, then imagine what the parent optical company will be to a struggling francisee?

Believe the government, and the banks, all you want. It is going to happen. Don't kid yourself.

Do we really think that the parent companies of franchise operators will cut their rent and fees to help a struggling franchisee survive?
Do we really believe they will bail our aforementioned franchisee if they can't pay their bills?
Take a very, VERY close look at the franchise agreement, and see what it says.
Scary, huh. You don't pay, you're fucked. Get used to it.
Sorry about that, but you should have thought of it before signing your future away to arseholes.

In the past, I've made a few predictions on where the industry will go.
In general, I'm by far more often right than wrong.
Unfortunately, since as a whole the industry has gone to shit, I don't take much pride in predicting it, but that's business...and optics.

So, here's my prediction. Please, feel free to tell everyone about it, and see if I'm right in 12 months:

1. 50% of all new optom businesses, starting from scratch, will fold within 12 months. 50% of the rest will fold within 2 years.
2. 50% of all new francise agreement stores will fail within 2 years.
3. Average sales of optical appliances across the industry will drop by a further 20-30% in the next 12 months.
4. Chain stores not going the franchise way will continue being unable to find staff. Instead of one optom per store, they will be shared between them, particularly as sales drop and they cannot be supported.
5. The chains will continue to flog franchaise stores to gullible optical people, increasingly frantically, in the hopes they can continue this stupid expansion. In the short term they will seem to be succeeding, but in the long term, they'll fail, and take out a lot of franchise operators with them.
6. Independent suppliers will be pushed to the breaking point, as everyone tightens their belts and stops purchasing. Due to this, ODMA sales will be down 30% next year, and not even Gowan Farqouf will be able to pick up the pieces.

7. One of the big optical chains in Australia at this time will go belly-up within 2 years. It's going to happen. It'll be fun seeing which one will it be?

Personally, I'm doing OK. Thanks to our setup, I'll ride it out without too much pain. It won't be the best time, but at least I'll see it through.
But I will look forward to watching the ensuing carnage in the industry. It's more than overdue.

If you're stupid enough to enter into a franchise agreement now, or start up a brand new business in a shopping centre, you deserve everything you get.
Don't bitch and whinge about it later, after you've lost everything.

We received an overdue notice from Workcover today saying we hadn't paid, and were receiving a late penalty.
This is after we have already paid it, last month.

I asked Dawn, "Didn't we pay Workcover?"
"Yes, I paid it last month! By VISA"
I double checked our records. Yep. Paid via VISA on 3/9, at 11.05am.
However, they never took it out of our account. The payment wasn't on our statement.

So, I rang them. That was a mistake.
Should have realised the government is full of the intellectually disabled.
Keeps them from the dole queue.

"Oh, I'm sorry. We can't access that payment information. It's in a secure server.
No, I can't explain why our automatic service failed to take your payment.
Oh, no. I can't refund you the late fees. You'll have to pay them."

Another government rort.
Wish I could use that excuse with them, in return.

Oh, and I sent Mrs Hazaparti a letter today.
Don't come back.
If you do, things will get unpleasant.
And you'll find there will be...unforseen consequences.

Sometimes, my patience runs thin.
This millenia is one of those times.
And yes, I do wish I was Gordon Freeman ;)

At least, I do always keep a crowbar handy...
I keep it in the back of my shop.
Goes well with my Hazmat suit.

Mrs Hazaparti came in today, for a refund of her lenses, which she still doesn't like.
This is in response to the second letter, since she let the first one lapse.
So, I took her glasses off her, and went to remove the lenses.

She began waving her arms around madly, like a retarded helicopter on crack.
(Gotta love Italian people. Why yell at someone when you can yell AND flail your arms at them!)

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
"Umm, removing the lenses! You're here for the refund, right?"
"No, I want you to change them again!"
"Well, I'm sorry, but as I said clearly in my letter, I'm not prepared to do that. I don't know what else to do for you. As I said, I'll refund your money, if you like"
"Yes, I want a refund. But I want to keep the lenses, too!"
"Umm, I'm sorry, but I won't do that. I'll refund the lenses, but I need them first, as I explained in the letter."

It all went downhill from there. You see, she wants the refund, but she wants the lenses too.
So, exactly how faulty are they if she wants them, and refuses to give them up?
Not very, obviously.

Her next trick was to wave a Laubies letter in front of us, saying she was going to them next time.
I told her calmly "Go right ahead. I think you'll find they're just a wee bit more expensive than we are, but you're free to see anyone else you like"
So she then started yelling I wouldn't see her any more.
I said to her "Well, since you're unhappy with us, I can't see how I can help you further. You've made it clear the lenses are no good, and I've made it clear I can't see what's wrong with them. I can't do anything more than remove them and give you a refund. Then, you can go elsewhere for the lenses"

STILL not good enough. She refused to have the lenses removed from her frames.
Even when I waved the refund cheque at her.

I told her "OK, say you buy a fridge at KMart, and you change your mind on it. Do you go to them and ask for a refund, but say you're keeping it too"
Se looks at me, and says "Well, what are you going to do with them!!!"
At that point, I'd basically had enough.
"That's not your business. I can do whatever I want with them. Most likely, I'll stick them through the shredder, since they can 't be used for anyone else. So, if you want a refund, as I've said repeatedly, I'll remove the lenses, you can go to Laubies, and get them remade from the script I've already given you. You'll just have to wait for the cheque to clear, or cash it at the bank, because I don't have the facilities to do cash refunds"
(or more to the point, I don't want the bitch taking a cash refund, and then denying she received it. A cheque is traceable)
Nope. No go. She refused to return the lenses.

Only to ring us 1/2 hour later, threatening us and calling us cheats and liars, and we ripped her off.
Because we wouldn't give her a refund AND let her keep the lenses she says are faulty.

Thanks to the reader who noticed I used my "real life secret identity" in one of the letters previously, and let me know.
It's very important I keep incognito, because if I was exposed as the grime fighting mega douche bag I really am, I'd have to give up optometry and go back to doing what I do best.
Annoying people IRL ;)
(Which pays poorly, but has a extremely high level of job satisfaction)

Now, for anyone who missed it, I'll give you a hint.
It rhymes with "drunken, anarchistic psychopath"
Umm, actually, it's more of a synonym than a rhyme.
Very synonymly, in fact. Awfully synonymly.

Admittedly, it IS the worst kept secret in optometry around here.
As Fart said, "If anyone who has a vague inkling of us hasn't worked it out now, they're just thick" ;)
That is true :)
Very true.
But, still, it IS fun pretending I'm anonymous.

Yeah, I'm pretty piss poor at it, but then again, at times I'm a pretty piss-poor excuse for a human ;)

However, after some careful thinking, I decided that anyone with a secret identity probably needs a super costume, or something.
Sure, I can run around wearing my undies outside my pants, but that's just getting old.
I mean, it worked for Batman.
Hmm, then again, I ain't no Batman ;)
And I'm DEFINATELY no Superman!

Although I do seemingly have a lot in common with Captain Obvious here, from the web site of Dr Rob.
I kinda like Dr Rob. He reminds me of me, a bit. Admittedly, a way nice, non-sarcastic, less twisted and bitter (and probably much, much better looking IRL) version of me, but I'm a realist ;)
I just find it amusing that even doctors have anonymous web pages ;)

Is it just me, or is every optometrist and dispenser getting spammed to death by the likes of Specsavers, and the other chain store recruiting monkeys?
Originally, I thought the OAA had given them access to their database. However, this apparently wasn't he case.

So, where exactly do they get such a comprehensive list of optometrist information from?

At the very least, I would have thought Specsavers would have the intellectual savvy to realise that sending blanket recruiting emails to their competitors optometrists is, at the last, completely tactless and, at best, just plain stupid.
If our magazines aren't already completely full of recruiting crap for every new chain store thinking they're going to take over the world, our emails are now a target for the bullshit.
I'd also point out that to actively email employees of another practice is again, pretty tactless. I think there is MORE than enough recruiting crap floating around atm for all of us to be very, very aware of who these chain stores are, and what they supposedly offer (ie. the world, apparently). I don't need to have to dump page after page of it into my trash bin, because it gets let through my junk filter as being "officially endorsed".

So, sick of the spam, not to mention the gall of it, I sent a reply back to them.

Dear Specsavers
Thank you for your offer of employment.
However. being self employed in my own practice, I'd imagine there isn't anything particularly valuable you could offer me at this time, that I don't already have working for myself.
Therefore, I'd appreciate being removed from your email list immediately.
However, if at any stage I decide to sell my soul to the dark side of the force, I'll be sure to get in contact with you, or Emperor Palpatine, immediately.
Regards
Rocko

Within minutes, I get back yet another automated spam response, which said...
"Thank you for your application. One of our recruiting staff will be in contact with you shortly"
Strange. I thought the only application being made was the noise of my fist contacting the side of their head?
I guess that's how recruiting is done nowadays?

Regardless, they never did get back to me.
And, thank God, the spamming stopped.
Hopefully forever.
Still....
Was it something I said?? ;)

I have developed a very bad habit of becoming a compulsive crap purchaser on ebay.
It's not that I really want the things I've been buying, but they're SOOOOOO tempting!

Sure, 99% of them are from Hong Kong, and the other 1% are probably MADE in Hong Kong, and the entire 105% of them are all complete shite, but the retail therapy involved in the purchase is strangely (and likely disturbingly) soothing.

Like the $0.26 iPod Nano cover I purchased for my house mate, which cost $2.40HK to send out.
Or the $20 10 meter HDMI cable, that would have cost me $90 or more here, and I have yet to use.
Or the many, many wonderful pieces of shit, that sit on the shelf above my PC, taking up space in a wonderful, WONDERFUL orgy of lead covered toxic plastic!
Oh, it's WONDERFUL!

But then, someone SCREWS IT UP!
Such a seller is costcocity002@uxcell.com.hk
Dirty, dirty little dirt bags.

Well, I ordered yet another incredible piece of Hong Kong shite from them.
An iPod dock, so I could connect my ipod to my 42 inch HDTV and listen to music, as well as control it from a remote.

So, I bought the thing, and it arrived...late.
Opened it up
And found that someone had tried a bodgy repair on it, glued the base back on poorly, then tried hiding the shit job by covering the damage with black nikko pen!
We plugged it in, and sparky sparky, boom boom!

So, I sent them 2 emails, with pics of the problem.
Waited nearly 3 weeks.
And heard squat back.

Now, personally, I think Paypal is about as fucking useless as fly screen windows in a submarine!
Their dispute works, to a point, and you might get money back.
But, in a means to combat it's effectiveness, a seller sending out shit goods is not apparently responsible for the delivery to return it.

In my case, it was going to cost $30, to send back a $41 item for refund...and I STILL wouldn't have had anything!!

So, for your enjoyment, here is the exchange from the Paypal dispute centre.
Which I'm going to call....

Why UXCELL SUCK!
(aka. costcocity002@uxcell.com.hk suck
aka.Stupid Hong Kong retardo monkeys...err....suck!)

• 17/09/2008 07:22 PDT - Buyer: The iPod dock was purchased as a new item. When received, the packaging had been previously opened (ie. plastic bags opened, and poorly repackaged), and damage was visible on the outside of the unit. It had been glued together poorly, and the damage had been attempted to be hidden by being covered in black Nikko pen. When we tried the unit, it failed to work as promised. Additionally, it showed obvious signs of water damage. 2 emails were forwarded to the seller. The initial had a full description of the damage, as well as a number of photos. The second, details that the unit did not work. No correspondence has been received from the seller whatsoever. However, we did receive an email advising that the goods we ordered were being sent, on 29/8/08 as follows: Dear Rocko, Thank you for shopping with us. Your order was shipped on 2008-08-20 09:12:48.0 and it normally takes around 7 to 14 working days for arrival. We highly value your feedback and are always keen to hear your comments on the purchase. Please do contact us at costcocity002@uxcell.com.hk for any issue related to your order before leaving us feedback on eBay. Since eBay has started a new feedback system and detailed seller rating to evaluate customers' buying experiences. To understand the new system, please read the following message from Internet Merchants Association before leaving feedback. http://www.leavingfeedback.com Once again, thank for your patronage and hope you'd return to buy from us again in the near future. Look forward to your favourable feedback once you have received your product. Best Regards, costcocity002 This was a duplicate of the original email sent to us, but with a different date. We have allowed the time advised, which was longer than the time the original order took, but have received no other correspondence, or a replacement unit, since this date. I'm happy to receive a replacement unit. However, if they refuse, I would like a refund of the amt paid

• 17/09/2008 19:09 PDT - Seller: We are terribly sorry to hear that the item arrived damaged and it does not work properly. First, could you please send photos of the damaged part to costcocity002@uxcell.com.hk for our reference ? And please also remark the subject as "photos for Case ID: PP-546-728-284 ". Second, please kindly specify what is wrong with the item when you use it for our reference. We will try our best to resolve the problems asap. Sorry for any inconvenience caused.

• 18/09/2008 01:12 PDT - Buyer: I'm happy to resend the emails already sent to you, on 28/8/08. They included pictures of the unit, which had been glued back together, and then the plastic damage covered in black nikko pen. Closer inspection of the unit, which sparked when turned on, then stopped until the power cord was jiggled, and did not produce any link from the iPod, showed the unit had been water damaged. As also stated, and as per the pictures being resent, the packaging had been opened previously. I would suggest the unit had been returned to you as faulty by another purchaser, and someone (either staff at your store, or the previous purchaser) has patched up the damage before returning it to your stock. The emails have been resent. Should you not receive them, please notify us immediately.

• 18/09/2008 01:16 PDT - Buyer: 18/9/08 6.15pm AEST Emails were resent. Please note the address sent to originally was as per your response above.

• 18/09/2008 19:42 PDT - Seller: Thanks for your photos and explanation. Sorry about any inconvenience caused. Could you please advise us the model of your player ? And would you like to send it back to change to another item with same amount or get full refund ? Looking forward to your early reply.

• 18/09/2008 23:32 PDT - Buyer: On the box, and on the bottom of the unit, all it says is it is a "HomeDock for iPod - Home entertainment Dock for iPod". It doesn't seem to have a model listed on the box anywhere, and no manual was included. The number under the barcode on the box is number 8 36258 88573 7. I'm happy to receive another. However, if you want it back, you will have to arrange collection. As stated in my email, this is clearly not a warranty issue, but "Goods damaged/faulty/not as described", and is therefore unfortunately your problem. I'm more than happy to repack it for you to arrange collection, but this will be at your own expense, as I have already paid delivery for a unit that was obviously used and faulty. If you'd rather not resend the unit, again as per the email, I'll accept a full refund. But all I wanted was a unit in functional, NEW, working order. So, sending another unit is perfectly acceptable.

• 19/09/2008 00:15 PDT - Seller: Sorry about that I did not explain the reason why we need to know the model of your player clearly. It is because after checking the item for several time, we just can confirm the item is only fit for some of ipod players, you can find the lastest description from the following link: http://www.uxcell.com/theater-home-entertainment-dock-bundle-for-ipod-nano-black-p-12858.html We just want to check whether we should offer replacement or issue refund to you. Looking forward to your early reply.

After following this link, I came to a site that clearly said it was not suitable for anything BUT a Gen 3 Nano...quite different to what was said on the original listing!

• 19/09/2008 00:25 PDT - Buyer: Aaah, I see. Fair enough. My unit is a Nano 2nd Gen, without a video connection, so is likely not compatible as it is not on this new list. Thank you for the explanation.

• 19/09/2008 00:28 PDT - Buyer: Mind you, I should explain I didn't buy it for the video option. Just to play audio only through my TV. So, the video wasn't needed. Just audio. Thanks

• 19/09/2008 20:14 PDT - Seller: Normally we can only offer a replacement or full refund once the item is received. Since it will take more time and money to send it back, may I suggest you choose another different item and advise us the item number ? We will check and give you some discount for the new item. Looking forward to your early reply.

• 19/09/2008 22:07 PDT - Buyer: I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in another item. Not only is the one sent clearly faulty as well as damaged (since we've now tried with with a Gen 3 Nano, and it's DOA), but you're telling me it wasn't even compatible with my iPod in the first place, although it was clearly listed as being compatible in your listing. As per the pictures attached, it's quite clear the goods were not in the condition described, but were damaged and faulty. As I said, I'm sorry if it will cost you money to get it back, but I paid for good items, and received nothing of the sort. Since you cannot replace it with a working unit, I'm now requesting a full refund. Please forward it to my Paypal account ASAP.

• 22/09/2008 19:19 PDT - Seller: First, if you still want to get full refund, please fill in the attached RMA form with the RMA number of RMA#092320080809684D from the following link: http://www.uxcell.com/doc/RMA%20-%20ebay%20refund.pdf and send it back with the RMA form for our investigation. We will issue full refund to you when the item is received. Sorry for any inconvenience caused. Second, please reconsider our suggestion of choose another item from our ebay store and keep the first item : http://stores.ebay.com/costcocity002 We will offer 20$ discount for the new item. Looking forward to your early reply.

• 23/09/2008 00:16 PDT - Buyer: Dear Seller My patience is over. I'm not debating this with you further. Let me remind you clearly of the following: 1. The goods were second hand, poorly repaired items...NOT new, as described. This was clearly seen in the photos sent to you. 2. The goods were OBVIOUSLY faulty, since they worked on NO iPod connected to it, and sparked when turned on. 3. FINALLY, by YOUR OWN ADMISSION, even though they were listed describing their suitability for a Gen 2 Nano, you later admitted they weren't suitable at all!! IN THIS DISPUTE EXCANGE!! WHERE PAYPAL CAN CLEARLY SEE IT!! Jesus H Christ on a stick, how much more admission of unsuitability do you need to provide?? I'm now just plain pissed off with your attitude. YOU stuffed this up, YOUR goods are faulty, and YOUR goods are unsuitable, BY YOUR OWN ADMISSION! I am NOT paying to send them back to you, when it's YOUR problem! I'm not debating with you further on this. It's like arguing with an idiot. The matter is being forwarded as a full dispute to Paypal. However, be advised, you will be receiving appropriate feedback based on your performance in this dispute, and the quality of the goods received. It's the least I can do.

• 23/09/2008 00:24 PDT - Buyer: Dear Paypal Should you require the photos of the damage, including even more we have since taken of the circuitry inside the unit, showing the entire thing is badly water damaged and corroded, please let me know ASAP and I'll send them to you. If you follow the link sent by the seller, in their response, you can see they even admit the unit is not suitable for a Gen 2 Nano, even though the initial listing I bid on clearly states it is suitable! The seller, by their own admission, cannot replace it with a unit suitable, and refuses to refund without sending it back AT MY EXPENSE. IF the unit was sent as described, I'd have no problems with it. But it was poorly repaired, faulty AND unsuitable for the description used. The cost of returning it to them will be almost more than the unit itself! Since the seller cannot replace the unit with a suitable one, and since it's clearly faulty, unsuitable AND poorly repaired, while described as new, I consider it's return the sellers responsibility, to be done at their expense. If they want to pay, I'll happily send it back, but for me to spend $30 returning it, to receive a $40 refund, is ludicrous, when it was totally and completely their fault the goods are unsuitable in the first place. Contact me as convenient for further information.

Not as described - Claim - no PP-546-728-284
Status
The seller has offered to refund your payment if the merchandise is returned in its original condition. Please send the merchandise to the seller at the following address:
2B, High Fashion Center, 1-11 Kwai Hei Street, Kwai Fong, 0000, Hong Kong
You are responsible for postage and packing costs associated with returning the item.

Thanks a fucking lot, Paypal! Really helpful there, as usual! I send it back, get a refund, but I'm out of pocket on the delivery AND I still have nothing to show for it.
Great stuff, butt wipes!
However, I left VERY appropriate feedback.

Not new faulty poorly fixed. Dispute reqd. Seller service terrible. Don't trust!

And, let me say, it's VERY hard to be really, really pissed off in only 80 characters!!
WAY against my nature to condense it so much!

Now, the fun email exchanges begin ;)

> Subject: Re: [Ticket#2008092510009913] eBay item 300250710353
> Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:30:05 +0800
> To: rocko_wallaby@hotmail.com
> From: costcocity002@uxcell.com.hk
>
> Dear Customer,
>
> eBay item:
> 300250710353 AV Theater Home Entertainment Dock for iPod nano Black
>
> Since I am not the one who dealing with paypal dispute, can we ask what's wrong with the item?
>
> We will refund once receive the returned item, but we will try our best to satisfy every customer, can we offer a free gift to compensate you? We will discuss about this if you agree.
>
> We apprecaited if you can leave us exactly this sentence:
> "I have left a wrong feedback, it should be positive"
>
> in the feedback (follow up) that you had left us if the problem is resolved.
>
> Regards,
> costcocity002

You reckon I have left wrong feedback?
It should be positive??
Really, are you retarded???

You say you don't know what's wrong, then. OK...let me fill you in.
Let's see. Where do I start?

Firstly, I received the items DOA.
They were DOA because someone at YOUR business tried to pull a swiftie, and sent me obviously faulty goods, that never had a chance of working.
How do I know they're faulty? Because I received them with the case of the unit damaged, and some arse in your store had tried a poor attempt to use glue to stick it back together, and then since they managed to fuck it up and make a mess of it, had put black marker pen over the glue to try and hide it. The packaging had been opened, and some parts were even returned in plastic sandwich bags!!
Pictures of this were sent to your staff as part of the dispute.

We tried to see if it worked.
Which it didn't, instead sparking from the back, and shorting out.
So, we took off the badly glued back cover, to find the entire circuit board covered in calcified water damage and corrosion, and the solder for the main power connector shorted out.
It is dead, beyond repair.
It's pining for the Fjords.
Gone to meet it's maker.
It's a stiff...bereft of life!
If it wasn't nailed to the perch, it'd be pushing up the daisies!
And, in the immortal words of John Cleese....

When questioning your staff, they actually had the gall to admit the unit was NOT for a Gen 2 Nano, as clearly stated in the eBay listing, but suitable ONLY for a Gen 3 Nano!
So, it wasn't even suitable for the unit specified, even if it WAS working! They even sent me info STATING the unit wasn't suitable, as per the original listing!!
Which it wasn't, because we attached a Gen 3 Nano to it, and it was STILL fucked.

I gave your business more than enough time to fix it, or confer with me, before filing a dispute. I sent 2 emails to you, immediately after receiving the faulty item, and nearly 3 weeks before lodging the dispute. Both were ignored. It wasn't until I started the Paypal dispute that your staff, suddenly and miraculously, began communicating with me.

You sent poorly repaired, obviously damaged goods, labeled as "new".
The unit came DOA, because it was fucked before it even left your warehouse.
It wasn't even, by YOUR STAFF's OWN ADMISSION, suitable to be used by the iPod units it stated in the listing.
And now, the ONLY way I can get any money back, is to spend nearly $30 to return it to you, to get $41 back, since you don't even have the common decency to pay for freight on a complete piece of shit unit that was faulty, unsuitable AND DEAD before you even sent it!

I just regret ebay doesn't give you enough space to list fully just how fucking pissed off I am at your business, and the shit service and products you sell.
Truthfully, I feel you got off extremely lightly. I'm not normally this nice to arse holes who screw me over.
Because, if your business was in Australia, I'd have you in Small Claims Court by now, for fraudulently misleading advertising.

1. I'm not paying to send it back to you. You want the POS back, YOU pay for it. I've already paid for it once, when I bought it!
2. You refund me, IN FULL, to my Paypal account, for the full price and delivery on the item, as paid.
3. Once I have this cleared into my Paypal account, I will change my feedback to "Refund provided by seller. Dispute settled"
4. If you don't then want to pay yourself to get the the unit back, I'll throw the piece of shit in the rubbish bin, where it belongs.
5. And I don't want a free gift, blow job, or anything else from you. I just want my money back, and to be as far away from you scum bags as possible, end of story!

I have absolutely no intention in falsely changing my feedback further. I am NOT happy with your products or service, which I consider to be bloody disgusting. But at least, if I get a refund, your negative feedback problem will disappear, and you won't have to deal with me again.

Then again, I'm having a real second thought at sending it back to you for a refund anyway, as agreed to with Paypal. Rest assured, if I have to pay myself to send it back to you, regardless on whether I then get a refund from you or not, the feedback will remain as it is forever. You have my word on it.
Oh, and as a final note, all the readers of my online forum are now being entertained reading about this entire matter. They can't wait to hear what happens next. Please feel free to respond as you like :)

Subject: Re: [Ticket#2008092510009913] eBay item 300250710353
> Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2008 10:17:36 +0800
> To: rocko_wallaby@hotmail.com
> From: costcocity002@uxcell.com.hk
>
> Dear Customer,
>
> We are sorry for any trouble that costs to you.
>
> Because of our company policy, I can provide a refund which is more than you
> pay, so I can't pay for the shipping fee. And the reason that we want the item
> back is to invesigate what wrong's with the item and then we will invesigate
> it with our supplier to follow up.
>
> So, what I can do you for you is to offer something to you for free. That's
> the best I can do. I am sorry if you do not accept about it, please really
> hope that you can understand that is what I can do in this situation to try to
> compensate you.
>
>
> Best regards
> costcocity002

I think that just about wraps up any and all conversations between us, doesn't it, so please don't bother replying further.

> Subject: Re: [Ticket#2008092510009913] eBay item 300250710353
> Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2008 10:10:15 +0800
> To: rocko_wallaby@hotmail.com
> From: costcocity002@uxcell.com.hk
>
> Dear Customer,
>
> Sorry that I did put the case to be more complicated.
>
> To be simple then, what is the postage cost? If it is not much, we can refund
> the postage, but in exchange, we need your help to leave ""I have left a wrong
> feedback, it should be positive" in the feedback (follow up) that you had
> left us.
>
> Will it be a problem?
>
>
> Best regards
> costcocity002

Jesus. This fuck wit won't take "Go fuck off and die" for an answer!!
Then again, perhaps I wasn't being clear enough.
I can do that. I'm very, very good at that.

Besides, I don't want my money back any more. I just want to piss them off, really badly.

I thought I made myself very clear.
You received the feedback you deserved, for the service and goods you provided.
This conversation is over. I do not want to hear from you again.

Should I receive any further messages from you, I will be left with no alternative than to lodge a formal complaint of harassment with eBay, and your ISP.

You know, all I wanted was what I paid for. Nothing more, nothing less.
Instead, all they wanted was an argument.
So, I gave it to them.
I'm very generous that way.

Although if you want to have some gratuitously nasty fun, send the bastards an email yourself, saying you were going to buy something from them, but were scared off by all the negative feedback they had received lately.
They can be emailed HERE!

My web page has grown from 2 full sites to three.
So, had to move everything around again.
If something doesn't work, or comes up with the BSOD (Blue Screen of Death), please let me know ;)

_____________________________________
Wednesday 24th September, 2008. 11.31pm

Oh, forgot to mention, Fart was silly enough to ask me for help fixing his work PC.
Which I do, because I'm a Computer geek...err....God!

Although I did change the picture on his desktop some.
After all, you can't have too many cows on a racetrack!
And certainly looks more professional, if he turned it on unsuspecting in front of a client, than him driving in between a big pair of spread legs.
The idea my house mate came up with ;)

Sorry about the long hiatus. It's been a pretty awful time around here.
I'd like to report that all is back to normal, but it isn't. Shit happens tho.
I'd also like to say I'll be updating the page more regularly, but I can't. I'll try, but other things have been more important lately.
Sorry all, but that's life atm.

Problem 1.
Well, there was Mrs Hazaparti (who didn't even invite us, the selfish bitch), who came in wanting grads, at 80 years old, having failed with them before, and after admitting she was unsteady on her feet.
Who then agreed it wasn't a good idea, and went back to bifocals.
And then returned saying she had ordered grads, but got bifocals she didn't want.
Only to later admit her daughter wanted her to have grads, and she really had ordered the bifocals..
Who then used the excuse the lenses were too high, even though they were identical to the previous lenses fitted to the frame, which was her OWN one, to force us to remake them into grads.
Who then cracked a shit because she had to pay the difference, and stayed with bifocals
But then returned insisting they were too high, even though they were sitting lower on her face than the pair she was wearing.
And then cracked another shit when I told her I'd remake them...for the THIRD TIME...but if they were too low, I wasn't doing it again...
Who then accused us of ripping her off, and said she was never coming back...
Until, finally, I had enough.

It was very polite. To the point, but very polite.
Bring back the job. I'll remove the lenses, and refund your money.
Of course, we're aware what she really wanted was to keep the lenses AND have a refund, but I have a good answer for that right at the moment.
A real simple answer.
Get fucked, Mrs Hazaparti. Take your refund, and fuck off somewhere else. Preferably to one of the chain stores, who really deserve you.
I have no more time for your stupidity.
End of story.

Problem 2.
Tried ordering a round seg bifocal lately?
We tried, in an attempt to duplicate a job for a client.
The same client who wanted wrap sunnies a few years ago, and the lab making them (who SWORE their spastico wrap lenses are perfect) managed to screw up the edging not once, or twice, or thrice...but on SIX occasions, causing him to be rather extremely pissed off, and made us to look like idiots.
The same client who brought in his frame a while back for adjustment of a bend he caused, only to have me flake BOTH nylon edged lenses (damn, I coulda died!!)
A client who, I swear to all that's holy, is THE biggest jinx client in optics!
And, of course, what happened this time?

The blanks are totally different. I guess a round seg isn't a round seg, but a something-a-bit-like-a-round seg.
That was the start. It all went downhill fast from there.
So, again, after 3 more remakes, at 2 different labs, we simply re dispensed identical lenses into an identical frame, with identical power, coatings, OS, base curve, heights, gelatinous centre, sugary coating, and the works...and what happened?
The guy STILL bitched they were no good.
I guess the concept of "identical" escaped his grasp.

So, I applied the "Hazaparti principle" to him.
Either try them for a week, or I'll give you your money back.
Don't like it, then go Hazapardi yourself, and the horse you rode in on.

Interestingly, this client earlier had gone to Farts shop for a second opinion.
His daughter was at the reception counter. School hols and all.
When Fart asked where he got them, he said "Rocko's shop"
At which time, Farts daughter started laughing.
Loudly.
And Fart had to hurriedly explain to the client that it's because she knew me, rather than I'm a loony ;>

Oh, thanks sooooo much!! Remind me to tease you MUCH more next time I see you!! ;>
She's just getting back at me for the sarcastic "Would you like cheese and crackers with your whiiiiine" I gave her when she was being a bit whingy a while back ;)

What else has happened?
Apart from the many, many things screwing with my life lately....
Hmm....

Well, went to mow the grass outside the shop today.
Had the catcher on the mower.
And a rock flew out the little air vent in the side of the catcher.
And struck one of the huge glass sheets on the shop front.
And I found out, rather spectacularly, that it was NOT laminated, as I expected, but safety glass.
Since it exploded. Quite spectacularly, as I said.
With the only thing keeping it together being the window tint film applied to the inside.
Oh joy.

I lost my best friend today.
Her name was Stormy.
And I love her dearly.

She was stubborn, brilliant, and more than a little devious.
She could squeeze through the smallest gaps in the gate, and be away for pats from the neighbours before you could blink.
She loved the car, and loved outings, which she never had enough of.
She always knew when I was feeling like shit, and needed a soft head to stroke, and fur to bury my face into.
She was always there for me, and in hindsight I often took that for granted. I regret that now very much.
But she didn't seem to care. She loved me anyway. Unconditionally.

She sometimes had a hard life. Health problems gave her a caning over the years.
But she always pulled through, and was there for me when I needed someone to hug, really badly.
But this time the fight was too much. You can't beat cancer. I had to let her go.
I'm so very, very sorry, sweetheart. I couldn't fix it for you this time, although I tried so hard.
And I already miss you horribly.

I know people say life goes on, and such.
And it does. For good and for bad, it does.
But that doesn't mean I won't be thinking of you every day, dear heart.
Till next our paths cross, I'll be waiting.

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