The Opposite Sex
Men are to treat girls as sisters 1 Tim 5:1-2
Rebuke not an elder, but
intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder
women as
mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
Remember you are to
relate in love and not lust. The only commandment of The Kingdom of God
and
from which all the others flow is Jn 13:34-35:
Jn 13:3-354 A new
commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved
you,
that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are
my
disciples, if ye have love one to another.
If you love your
Christian friends as Jesus does. You
will help each other and serve each other in love and support each
other in
their weaknesses and trials. You will enjoy them for who they are as a
person:
Someone for whom Jesus
died. A mind and personality.
A Christian to fellowship with. A
part of The Family of God you belong too. A
brother or sister to Jesus (Matt12:50) and
thus also to you. A child of The Father
by adoption (Rom 8:14) and God’s Temple in which He lives
Singles Socializing
When you socialize
before an engagement occurs. You should
not be looking at people evaluating them as possible marriage partners
or
asking God if they are the one. Lists, that you cross each possible
name out
one at a time, are definitely out. You are to focus on your
relationship with
God and how He wants it expressed towards others and He will prepare
you for
marriage and bring your future betrothed to you. (Mat 6:33 applies).
While you make lists and
evaluate people as a possible marriage partner, Satan will give you all
the
help he can. So you will look at the
wrong person, possibly miss the right one and marry someone God does
not want
you to marry.
You do not need to seek
a spouse as God will bring them to you as part of the promises of Mat
6:33. He
has promised to supply all your need in every area of your life as long
as you
seek His Will and develop the relationship you have with Him. God will
guide
you to your partner: They will be the perfect partner for you
They will have the gifts
you do not have that will complement yours in ministry so you will need
to
learn to minister together as a couple.
They will also complete you as a person
In all areas the
relationship will be as God desires it to be (Jesus will be their Lord
and The
Holy Spirit will always be their guide)
Dating
Dating to find a
marriage partner is not God’s way of doing things
It allows Satan to find a partner
for you
It shows you do not trust God to
provide a partner for you
Going out as a group is not dating
but socialising
Dating is just another
name for socialising and you must do that within the parameters God
sets for
you and not those of Satan. Satan has
made it what it is today but it was never intended to be that way in
God’s scheme
of things.
You should only start dating after
you both agree you are to marry (in the betrothal period)
Romancing should now occur in the
dating period not to win her heart but to show you appreciate her for
who she
is and desire her because God has given her to you to marry.
Formal engagement
cements the betrothal period and marks the time to begin setting up the
marriage household (if you have not done so already).
Relational problems should have been sorted
out early in the betrothal period before formal engagement occurred.
Remember, the moment God
informs you both that you are to marry you are betrothed in His eyes.
God provides a wife
Prov 18:12 Whoso findeth a wife
findeth a good thing,
and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
How do you find your
wife? God puts you together and brings
you to each other.
Matt 19:6 Wherefore they
are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined
together, let
not man put asunder.
Before God can bless you
it requires you to be in a relationship with Him that
allows Him to bless you. You must
be doing what He requires you to do
for Him. He will not bring a godly wife
to an ungodly man (and visa versa) but Satan will.
This is why you need to be led by The Holy
Spirit to discern who has brought this person to you to marry.
To find a godly wife focus
on your relationship with Jesus and He will bring one to you without
you having
to search for her or worry about ever being married.
It will be on the path He has for you, in His
timing and not yours (Matt 6:33 applies).
This will occur when God determines you are ready and matured
sufficiently to manage the responsibilities of betrothal and subsequent
marriage
A Christian will find a
partner using Satan’s methods but usually there will be heartache
will result
and it usually will not be the one God wants them to find.
Through this wrong marriage partner Satan
minimizes any effectiveness of ministry they would do for God as a
couple
compared to what would have been achieved if they had married the right
person.
So wait for God to bring
you the one He wants you to marry and be led by The Spirit in the
relationship
showing God’s love to the other person in all the ways you relate
to them and
you will have a relationship that will be admired and desired by all
who do not
have this Godly type of marriage relationship.
Remember that Satan will
try and bring his choice of wife for you before God does.
So that dating may result in marrying his
wife and not the perfect one God has picked out for you.
Gimmicks and romance
If Jesus has betrothed
you then you do not need the gimmicks that Satan promotes through the
media He
controls. He tries to suggest you
need
these gimmicks to attract a spouse (so you will not find God’s
one for you) but
these are not necessary to attract and keep a spouse as God knows who
you are
to marry and will bring you too each other.
Satan also suggests you
need makeup, perfume, modern clothes etc to be beautiful in direct
contrast to
what God recommends in 1 Pet 3:3-4.
Expressions of love
(flowers, chocolate etc.), even though not needed, should be an
expression of
your love and not attempt to cause another to be attracted to you.
A man needs to show love
and respect and dress modestly in a way
that pleases his future wife. He must
also learn how to be a gentleman and show her manners and consideration
appropriate to the relationship.
A woman must dress
modestly as she does not need to reveal her flesh to attract her spouse. Too much exposed flesh may cause desire that
will result in sin. She is to hides her
body and keep it for her betrothed alone for when they are married. She needs to know how to behave as a lady in
a way appropriate to his gentlemanly manners towards her.
The lives of both are
examples for people to see Jesus and should show His love and desired
behaviour
in all the things they do. This will
turn their betrothed period and marriage into an act of worship to Him
and
bring Him Glory.
So remember to concentrate on your relationship with God and He will prepare you for marriage and bring to you the person He desires you to marriage in His timing and not yours. Any other timing will result in a troubled marriage until things are as He desires them to be.