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Jesus does not like divorce. Divorce means Satan has won the battle for that family and part of the Kingdom of God has been lost.

The family has not used or not effectively used the weapons they have to fight Satan and defeat him and have not listened to The Holy Spirit as they should have to be guided in this battle. They usually have not obeyed Jesus and have not loved their spouse as He does.

A woman who is loved by her husband unconditionally should never end up being divorced. If she has problems responding to his love then she needs deliverance. If she will not get deliverance then the marriage may be doomed and end in divorce. It is no use if one partner loves unconditionally and the other cannot respond as they should to this unconditional love.

(Mat 5:31-32) It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

(Mat 19:3-9 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mark 10:2-12 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement (Deut 24:1), and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

1 Cor 7: 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

A Man and wife have been allowed to come together by God and what He has put together man should not separate. The sex act in marriage consummates the marriage and certifies it before God.

If they separate then they should not remarry unless one dies

Divorce is not of God’s plan or purpose

A bill of divorce was permitted to safeguard a wife that was divorced by her husband. If she did not have one she would be an adulteress. If she could not be divorced an unscrupulous husband could murder her to remove her. Only a male could write a bill of divorce.

Anyone divorcing their wife and remarrying commits adultery. This was not a problem if there was not a bill of divorce as the guilty parties were stoned to death.

We are commanded not to separate or divorce our partners.

We are under Grace. The above was said to people under The Law and before Calvary so if divorce occurs now there is forgiveness for anything done wrong in regard to divorce.

God intention was for marriage to be till we die. If marriage is joined by God (the couple know it is God’s Will they marry) then to divorce is disobedience. Divorce was only allowed for adultery because the Jews would not forgive the adulterer (hardness of their heart and they were usually stoned to death so there was no adulterer to stop marriage Jn 8:1-11). We are under Grace and should live by God’s Law of Love and forgive the adulterer and if they truly repent take them back.

However if the adulterer turns their back on the marriage they have rejected God and broken the marriage covenant so there is no more marriage. Then a spouse is free to remarry. But it the adulterer repents and wants reconciliation to try and restore the marriage they are being obedient.

As there is deliverance available there is hope if the adulterer truly repents and goes through deliverance.

The only exception to reconciliation is if the spouse is violent or abusive emotionally and has not changed as you are a steward of you mind and body on behalf of Jesus and must protect it against Satan and the people he controls or uses against you.

A Christian husband should love his wife as Jesus loves her so she should never feel rejected or unloved by him. She will not react and defend herself as she knows that she has nothing to fear from him and will respect him and submit to him. What woman does not want a husband whose sole purpose is to look after her needs, appreciates her for who she is and does always what is best for her.

Divorce should not arise if the woman loves him as a fellow Christian and appreciates his love for her so that she respects him and submits to His domestic authority.

The attitude of Christian love to their spouse stops all that Satan can do to break up a marriage.

As for the hurts and pain Satan can use to attack a spouse Jesus sets you free from these through deliverance.

Remember that Satan will use things that are in themselves of no eternal consequence and by your attitudes to them use them to cause division in the marriage. Because they are of no eternal significance Satan can cause wrong attitudes in a person before they realize they are there as there is no warning bells in regard to these apparently spiritually neutral activities or objects. It is the attitude that is the sin and this is why you are to consult The Holy Spirit about neutral things so Satan cannot use them to cause you wrong attitudes in you and through these wrong attitudes in you guide you to sin.

People enter into marriage, starry-eyed with hurts from the past believing or hoping the marriage will solve these problems but in fact it increases their problems. What they needed was deliverance and not a spouse.

I believe deliverance should be undergone by engaged couples before marriage to remove that which will hinder their marriage so that can see clearly what they are getting into as well as really see what the other person is like.

I have come to the conclusion that divorce is not an option for a Christian. If you marry whom you believe God wants you to marry (and this should always be the case with a Christian) then to divorce is disobedience and second best for your life.

Because Jesus came there is deliverance and healing for the hurts in a marriage or the hurts that occurred before marriage that cause any marital problems. As a Christian you are to do all things in love which means you need to forgive your partner and help them grow in Jesus, which is the only real solution to any marital problems. Unfortunately, most forget this and react and cause division in the marriage and divorce and do not use God’s remedies of deliverance and healing.

Divorce is not an option for a Christian and as Paul says separation is the only solution possible. If people separate there can be reconciliation and God’s order restored. Divorce is final and the disobedience to God by one or both spouses is then complete.

Separation should only really occur to protect one spouse from the actions of another. Any spouse abusing their partner so that the partner needs to leave them is not following Jesus and may have lost their salvation. The abused spouse has been given stewardship of their soul, mind and body and must protect this from harm. This is the only real reason they can leave, to be a good steward of what God has given them.

What happens if you divorce? It could be rebellion and thus ‘sin’. After Calvary there is forgiveness for sin and mercy so that we no longer stone people committing adultery. The Holy Spirit is there also to guide as to what to do and His advice should be followed. Each case is different and God alone knows what is best. The Holy Spirit will also guide you as to what to do in regard to repentance for any sin you have committed or deal with any offence you have caused to another and any problems you have to deal with in yourself. Non-Christians can divorce as they are not bound by the guidelines of Jesus.

After Calvary, The Law no longer applies - Grace does (Acts 15). So while you are forgiven your sins, you still have to deal with the physical consequences of your actions. Jesus can help you with these if you give them to Him to be Lord of them.

Divorcing to marry a better person is dangerous and divorcing to survive as a person is really a statement both partners need deliverance so they can understand and love each other as Jesus loves you and your spouse.

A person of the same sex or a married couple who hears The Holy Spirit clearly should play a major spiritual supporting role to a person being divorced so they can fight the demons behind the divorce and do any deliverance and healing that is necessary.

Hurts from before the marriage that may have caused some of the problems in the marriage leading to divorce,

A hurt is anything that causes you pain or grief or binds you emotionally in some way or causes you to have a wrong attitude of another such as fear or anger.

Those ones you do not know you have and do not want face as it is unchristian to have them (and which also require the Gifts of The Holy Spirit to discern),

Love their partner as a Christian should, and forgive them for what they are doing to you

Give Him your all your problems, emotions, wrong attitudes, hurts and pain (the framework of the five steps),

Remember up to actual divorce you are still legally married and must try as much as possible to fulfill your role in the marriage according to the degree your spouse allows you to perform them.

People to guide in deliverance and teach them how to do it themselves,

People to advise on different aspects of divorce,

Legal advice,

Spiritual advice,

Financial advice,

People to comfort and support them emotionally and spiritually,

People to comfort and support them with their physical needs (clothing, food, accommodation etc).

Do not accept shame, guilt or condemnation from others or yourself. The opinions of others are not important as it is what God thinks of you that matters. Do not accept shame, guilt, condemnation or judgment from yourself or self-recrimination. Shame, guilt and condemnation in regard to spiritual matters were dealt with by Jesus at Calvary and any of these you feel after salvation comes from Satan. These should all be cast tot he abyss in Jesus’ Name and The Holy Spirit asked to take their place.

You must seek to be blameless before God and not man,

Matthew 6:33 Seek His Will for you and all you need will be given to you,

Emotional,

Physical,

Spiritual,

Mental,

Financial.

You must trust God implicitly, that in all that happens He is making the best for you of a bad situation.

Do not Let Satan rush you into hasty decisions as satan will use your assumptions and reactions against you so:

Never assume anything

Never react to anything

Always ask The Holy Spirit what to do

Do not make additional life-changing decisions at this time: change of job, change of location (where unnecessary), new partner.

You need to hear the Holy Spirit and be led by Him,

You need to know how to find the Will of God.

These are some of the attitudes and truths (information) that will help you fight the devils behind the divorce and keep you walking close to Jesus through out it as well as after it is finalised. Whenever you have a problem use the five steps immediately so Satan cannot use the problem to try and cause you more pain or grief. The key to surviving divorce is to take all that is a part of it to Jesus to be Lord of (using the framework of the ‘Five Steps’) especially that which causes you emotional pain or hurt or will lead you not to love your partner and sin against them in some way.

Remember this is a spiritual battle fought with spiritual weapons and must be seen from a spiritual perspective. You did not ask for the emotional trauma of divorce, but rather it was thrust upon you. God has thrust you into a spiritual battle for which you are ready (or he would not have allowed it) and for which He will provide all the spiritual weapons you need to fight the battle with and provide all the people you need to stand beside you and help you in this fight. The battle before divorce was to save the marriage. The battle now is to keep yourself from the ravages Satan will want to place on you, your children, as well as the possessions you are stewards of with the objective of destroying you.

Remember! God Loves you and all that happens to you is a result of His Love and is best for you. So never doubt God’s Love, Control. Purposes or Plans for you as there is nothing else left if you do and you will become depressed and despair. All you need to do is repent and use the framework of the five steps to deal with these things and as you are taking all to Jesus you will have a strength that others will wonder at and will be kept by your faith in Him and His Love and control through this most trying of times.

Divorce is a release to a new life and the freedom to be the person God wants you to be. The old must go for the new to come and the more you hold onto of the old the more painful will be the divorce. But if you give it all to Jesus there is no past to hold onto (Luke 9:62) and He can restore of it what He wants too or replace it with something better.

We all make mistakes but there is no fear in love so there should be no fear in going to a spouse that loves you and saying "I am sorry". There is also no shame, condemnation, criticism, or judgmental attitude in love so there is no reason for not going to your spouse and saying "What did I do wrong and how can I fix it". Love also is demonstrated and not just by sex so there is nothing wrong in going to a spouse and through your service to them saying "I love you which is why I am doing this".

May this booklet help your marriage grow into that which Jesus wants it to be for your sake and for His Glory so that your marriage becomes an act of worship to Him and demonstrates to the world the reality of a relationship with Him and by this draw many to Him and His Kingdom.