During the 3 months since the last report, Xiao has reached 9 kilos at last and is starting to move into size 1 clothing, mainly for the length. However trousers still fall off her hips because she is so slim. She is definitely eating better and drinking a bit more. But she is still small enough to fit easily through the cat flap - woops, she followed Monty out the cat flap the other day. She is also now moving into size 4 shoes after so long in size 3. We bought her 3 pairs of new shoes for her birthday. She has moved into the next size of Huggies too - for 9 months she has been in Crawlers and now finally she is in Toddlers.

Xiao's hair has gradually been getting thicker and we've been letting it grow longer over the ears. Her hair is so short that many people mistake her for a boy. She often seeks reinforcement about whether people she sees are boys or not and points at herself and says "boy?" Last month we started using clips in her hair - previously the clips just fell out as her hair is so fine and silky. Now we have been rewarded with the tiniest of topknots, which we tie with different coloured ribbons.

Last month Xiao put on her own shoes by herself (not buckled up but she did manage to slip her feet into the shoes - she's been trying to do this for ages but not getting very far and of course she has been practising using my shoes). She has always helped me to dress her but she is not yet dressing herself, although she does try sometimes.

She is still very active with running, rolling, flying fox & climbing stairs and loves the trampoline at YMCA but cannot yet jump although she is getting closer.

Name. The day after we got back from a weekend in Melbourne with her potential guardians and their two sons, I asked what is your name and she quite clearly said "Xiao Qiu" - this is a first - she has never said her name before so the weekend with the boys shouting her name over and over really helped - she does learn so much from other children. It is interesting that she did not say "Lin" even though so many people call her Lin. For the next two weeks, we regularly asked her this question and got Xiao Qiu as a reply. Then all of a sudden she dropped the Qiu and now answers only Xiao - she is quite definite about it and she says it so nicely that we are now calling her Xiao. Geoff recently bought her a small yellow ukelele (which she calls "tar" for guitar) and he composes little ditties on it rhyming with her name. She can now help sing the songs by filling in the last word and she laughs uproariously every time he performs HER song.eg:

There is a girl called… Xiao
You should see her… now
She continues to… grow
And we should… know
Because she's our daughter… Xiao"

There is a girl called Lin
She is our next of kin
She calls herself Xiao
And it rhymes with meow
But everyone calls her Lin

Birthdays Another daughter in our batch turned two at the beginning of September so we got a practice run at Xiao's own second birthday. Xiao had three birthday occasions with three opportunities therefore to blow out her two candles, starting with the actual day of her birthday, the next night when her grandparents arrived, and the following day when we held the big children's party for 75 people, Yum Cha at the Beach. She has always been very sociable so she loved these parties, especially the balloons. We were surprised at how much she seemed to understand about it being a special event all about her. And of course she is well rehearsed at opening presents, saying "me, me, me…" Mama then had a birthday the following week and we expected there would be some trouble differentiating the cake and presents being for me not her but she handed me my present and did not try to take it away. We are looking forward to present-giving at Xmas in a couple of months time.

Daycare We have been investigating daycare options in preparation for Mama's return to work in February. I don't want to leave it to the last minute. I planned to transition her by starting with 2 days (or part days) a week in readiness for full time in February. She is now registered at a few kindy/daycare centers (all say their lists are 18 months long) and we started attending on a casual basis a family daycare place that was recommended by the mother of another Chinese adopted daughter.

However Xiao is so attached to me at the moment that it is proving difficult to leave her. She likes the idea and happily dons her Bob the Builder backpack to knock on the door but as soon as I make any attempt to leave she cries heart-breakingly, like the first day in China when her foster parents handed her over to us.

The first time I tried leaving for 40 minutes but she was in such as state when I returned that I hate doing that to her. The next time we tried it for 20 minutes but again she cried and cried and cried and insisted that the carer give her the backpack, upon which she marched to the door and pointed for it to be opened. We stayed together at Daycare for several more sessions but the carer found it difficult to do her job whilst I was hanging around so we called it quits for the moment.

In retribution for these attempts to separate, Xiao has been extremely clingy at home and won't even let her Baba put her to bed at night now. One night she wouldn't even let him give her a bath, his normal duty. She doesn't play with the other children at the Daycare place, even though they are lovely children about her age, although the last time we went there she did really enjoy playing with the carer's 8 year old son - I've said before that she loves boys and she interacts particularly well with older children, probably because in the foster family where she lived for nearly a year she had an older sister who played with her every day.

We're now exploring Nanny options i.e. someone to come and look after her in her own home like the Early Childhood students currently do when they come to play with her. However the cost of a nanny is a little off-putting so maybe by February we'll be doing a combination of family daycare and nanny rather than a full time nanny or full time daycare. Currently it is hard to think of anyone else caring for our daughter except us. Exploring daycare has made me realise that no-one but Mama or Baba has changed her nappy in 9 months and she doesn't go to sleep unless Mama or Baba lie next to her in the bed. So the daycare experience is quite a shock for her.

A Nanny Agency has found us a Chinese nanny who is willing to work two days per week as she is studying English the other three days per week. She has just commenced and we are in the 6 week trial period where I stay in the house at the same time. So far Xiao is enjoying her company and has let her help change her nappy, although so far the Nanny is not allowed to initiate nappy changing!!! The other day we went shopping together and Xiao allowed me leave her with the Nanny in the play area whilst I disappeared into the shop. I came back after 10 minutes, twice, but each time Xiao did not seem to be worried. We have not tackled the sleep issue yet as we are trying to make sure we gain Xiao's trust fully before commencing difficult tasks. I think Family Daycare did not work because the Daycare worker pushed it too fast and lost Xiao's trust.

What types of food does the child eat? As usual I do not manage to get her to drink much but recently when we were washing her hands after she came back from the swings, she cupped her hand under the tap and drank water from her hand - lots of it - then she drank water from my hand because I could cup my big hand better than she can cup her small hand - perhaps she has seen us do this with the cat or maybe she has seen it on TV but it's an entirely new action for her and a welcome one if it gets her to drink more water.

We discovered that Xiao loves corn on the cob. We hadn't thought to try her on this ultimate finger food for toddlers, but she knew exactly what to do with it, and I've since checked with Chinese parents who say of course they eat corn on the cob a lot.

We rarely visit McDonalds or any other fast food place but Xiao does know the word "chips" and on long car trips sometimes drive-through MacDonalds is the best way to cure restlessness in the rear car seat. Recently however I drove into MacDonalds just so I could buy my first Happy Meal because the 'free' toy was a hat from the Pooh story. We got the last Eeyore hat. Xiao loves her Pooh video, Pooh books and Pooh stuffed animals a lot. I stress MacDonalds is a rare event and she does not watch commercial TV but as we went past a McDonalds store today, not one that we've ever been into, she clearly said "chips".

She does like chips but interestingly the other night we ate out with her grandparents on her holiday and I ordered a children's fish and chips meal for her. She ravenously ate most of a huge piece of fish but only ate 3 chips. She also devoured most of a prawn cocktail - she loves prawns - and then drank a whole glass of water (usually it takes me 3 days to get her to drain one glass of water).

What is the child's sleeping pattern? A major breakthrough this week has been a transition to sleeping in the single bed in her own room at her initiation for her lunchtime sleep. For 9 months she has slept in our king-size bed, day and night. This change has probably been facilitated by the 10 day holiday we've just had, sleeping in different places, thus breaking the habit of our bed. Or maybe it's just that she's turned two and growing up. This is a welcome change because it will help the Nanny cope with the lunchtime sleep. I sensed that she did not feel comfortable with cuddling up with Xiao in her employer's bed. Xiao still needs someone to be with her whilst she falls off to sleep. She cries if we leave the room and we have not been willing to make her unhappy at sleeptime - we want sleeptime to be happy and loving and peaceful. It does eat up a lot of our time putting her to sleep, and can be very frustrating when there are jobs to be done elsewhere in the house, but generally she drifts off fairly quickly if we are there with her. We just have to remind ourselves that this period of her childhood will pass all too quickly and currently hugging her to sleep is one of those precious parenting moments that in future years we will look back on with fond memories.

I have neglected to mention before her comfort object which we introduced to her after she had been with us for about 2 months. Xiao was not handed to us with a comfort object but we noted when she first joined our family that she would clutch her shirt, or our shirts, to her nose when trying to go to sleep, as well as of course sucking her much-loved thumb. It's funny that it took us 2 months to work out that she needed a comfort object as Mama remembers that she had a Ninny when she was a little girl. "Mr Hanky" is Ba's red silk handkerchief and it has been her faithful companion at bedtimes ever since. Mr Hanky has become so tattered that it has now been torn into about five Mr Hankys, one for the car, one for Mama's handbag, one upstairs, one downstairs etc. Attempts to introduce a cream silk handkerchief belonging to her great grandfather failed even though red silk Mr Hanky continues to grow smaller and smaller. Nanny suggested sewing pieces of old Mr Hanky onto a new Mr Hanky and that has worked.

Comment on the child's language development. In the first three reports I have recorded every new word she said as she learnt them. Now she is saying new words so frequently, I cannot keep up with the record. She is so literate that she wonders why the same word is used for the nails on her toes as well as the nails in her builder's toolkit and why the word for the thing I wear on my finger (ring) is the same as the noise the phone makes (ring ring). When we were discussing this phenomenon, she got the hammer and nails from the toolkit and pretended to hammer them into her toes! And when I'm putting on my rings she pretends to make a phone call! The toddler manuals say that toddlers of this age should be able to have two or three-sentence conversations with us, and that we can probably understand what she says at least half the time. Xiao is exactly on track with this description, even though she has had to switch languages mid-stream. I notice when comparing her to other children about her age adopted from China that some can speak better than her but they were adopted at a younger age and have therefore been exposed to English longer.

Xiao can "count" by saying the numbers one after each other, with a few numbers skipped sometimes, and she certainly knows the number "two" since she just celebrated her second birthday and we did lots of practising with two candles. So we think she is developing good language skills, although pointing and grunting and whining are still there as communication substitutes!!!! Last month her favourite exercise was to practise pronouncing the end consonant of words like quaCK, cloCK, duCK - she said these words very early on but perhaps only Geoff or I understood her - of her own accord she seems to be working on clarity of the full word now. She is also starting to sing. Last month she was completing the last word of each line of a song as she sang along with us or with the CD but now she is starting to add more words and she is starting to hum little tunes herself.

Xiao is now starting to show more interest in story books. Up till now we've mainly used picture books to help her learn English words. Apart from the story book we took to China with us and have read almost every day since, I'm a Little Penguin, which is a story about a penguin looking for his lost Mama and Baba, she has not been able to follow a story from beginning to end. But that is changing so we have joined the Library and we go to Storytime once a week to listen to a librarian read stories and show little videos. There is always a craft activity as well - and the best thing is that it is free. Xiao loves the books and tries to pull many off the shelf all at once. She knows what to do with books but it is still difficult to get her to sit through a complete story. She usually fidgets and runs off before the end, just like she is with eating.

Regarding her multi-lingual development, we note that, adopted at 16 months from a Cantonese speaking area, Xiao will not say thanks, thank you or ta in English but has always said quite clearly xie xie in Mandarin. She also never says cat but loudly shouts mao when our cat appears. I don't think xie xie (or mao) is Cantonese but Geoff and I with our limited Mandarin have always said xie xie (and mao) around her - still it's funny that she won't say the English word. We've recently started teaching her "please" but she was a bit resistant to that since we've always spoilt her rotten and she gets everything she wants without saying please because we're so besotted with her - but it's time for some discipline I've been heard to say lately and now she very nicely says please, when I remind her!!!

I believe that Mandarin was "officially" spoken in the orphanage but a local dialect of Cantonese was spoken for the year she was in foster care. She has always seemed to understand our Cantonese-speaking friends as well as our Mandarin-speaking friends. I really hope we can keep her ear for Chinese whilst we get English under control for her. Recently we employed a Mandarin-speaking Chinese nanny part-time and Xiao is mimicing her Mandarin very well. We also attended a Chinese Culture Camp at Batemans Bay with 21 other families who have adopted from China. We attended two classes at which a Chinese teacher taught the children to count in Chinese and to sing nursery rhymes. We had already taught her to count in Chinese as well as English but the nursery rhymes were new and we have been continuing to practise these.

What are the child's favourite activities? Last month saw Xiao playing more with her dolls. Previously she has preferred her stuffed animals but now she is talking to her dolls, feeding them, putting nappies on them, dressing and undressing them. She also throws them on the floor (Humpty Dumpty style) and then kisses and pats them better. She has always loved her Asian-looking bath doll and washes its face and brushes its teeth whilst she is in the bath but now she also loves her Ling Ling doll which speaks both Mandarin and English. Another favourite is a doll we call Yu Ting, after her foster sister in China. It's a Chinese cloth puppet doll that you can draw on to colour in her Chinese clothes. You can throw her in the washing machine and the colours wash off so Xiao can start colouring all over again. She also has Mei Mei, a little Chinese doll we bought in China Town. She does not have any blonde blue-eyed dolls. Even the Barbie dolls which are hidden away until she gets a bit older are Philippino and Chinese.

A couple of months ago we bought her a small plastic cubby house as I had noticed that she always gravitated to these at the various playgroups that we attend. She loves it and so does the cat who will often come to visit when she sees Xiao playing in it. We also bought her a rocking horse because she always hops on ricking horses at playgroup. She still absolutely loves her swing. She loves slides, the bigger the better, and on her recent holiday, without any fear, she went on one of those huge slippery dips sitting on a hessian bag with her Ba, and then her Ma. She also had her first ride on a Shetland pony - she was very serious and concentrated very hard during the ride but immediately asked for another ride, and got it of course.

She has had her first trip to the Zoo. Erica from Batch 6 and Xiao from Batch 7 spent a morning at Symbio's Wildlife Gardens near Helensburgh. I thought she might be a bit young for the zoo but she loved it. She patted an owl and a koala and fed a baby goat its milk bottle. Kangaroos and emus roam freely at this Australian zoo. She really loved the pig and has perfected her oink oink upon visiting this one. Being a Year of the Snake girl she of course loved seeing the snakes (Mama definitely did not enjoy that bit and was glad we did not have to pat them).

She has also now had her first trip to the Aquarium loving all of it but she was especially taken by the penguins whose tank was displayed at just the right height for Xiao - she could see them swimming below the water and on tiptoes she could see them swimming above the water.

On her recent holiday the weather was just good enough some days for her to play in the sand naked and splash in the water until her teeth start chattering and we tried to get her out (not possible without a lot of tears as she loves the sand and water). She also spent a morning rowing in a canoe on a lake and likewise would not get out even though the hire time was up. She loved helping with the rowing and singing "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream…"

She is very active and loves most games that people play with her, no matter how simple such as peek-a-boo. She especially likes getting people to draw outlines of her hand on paper, but she still doesn't play by herself. The toddler manuals say that this is a skill that needs to be taught to them but we haven't tried yet.