The Mods got up the next morning. Starky prepared breakfast while the Mods packed their gear. Their plan was to head through #gamefaqs to save some time and avoid the annoying Flamers. Soon after 6 o' clock the four Moderators were ready to start. They cut across several fields, where the morning dew was glistening, and soon they approached the edge of #gamefaqs.
"Ah yes," said ChiZPoof. "There is #gamefaqs."
"What's in it?" asked Devin.
"I don't know actually. I wasn't here when #gamefaqs was fully alive."
"I think Scottie remembers," pointed out Fence.
Devin grinned. "Duh, he's like teh OldscHo0lz, as the 1337s say."
Fence look at the walls of #gamefaqs. "So, we have to get through a
firewall. Ideas?"
"Don't worry, we can hax0r," answered Kaboobi.
"What about the electric fence?"
"That's where you come in."
ChiZPoof and Kaboobi grabbed Fencedude. "Here, be useful," they said,
and they threw him against the electric fence. After an initial shock, the Mods
found themselves at the edge of #gamefaqs, minus an electric fence.
"Guess that worked," smiled ChiZPoof.
Fence said nothing. "Er..r..r..."
"Will he be ok?" asked Devin.
"Of course he will. He's always like that after all, isn't he?"
Kaboobi popped in. "Not only that, he tore a hole through the Firewall. And
opened a gate to another dimension."
Devin blinked.
"Well, ignore the alternate dimension for now, we have an old chat server
to cut through!" said ChiZPoof.
The Mods dashed through the old server. It was quite interesting at first,
but soon, the ancient walls of #gamefaqs grew monotonous, and they were lost.
The sounds of lost souls, chatting on #gamefaqs, surrounded them.
"What was that?" cried Devin.
"Spammers!" yelled ChiZPoof
Devin drew out his PIE. Immediately, a Spammer appeared from the shadows and
stole his PIE, and sold it on eBay.
"****! My PIE!"
"Leave it! Run!" cried Fence.
The Mods ran through #gamefaqs. After a while, they stopped and rested. The
Spammers were gone.
While they rested, Devin looked around. He heard familiar noises from a room
ahead.
"Hey guys..."
"What?"
"Check this out..."
The Mods entered a room with 3 TVs, an Xbox, GameCube, PS2, PC with 21"
screen, surround sound and full online capability. Naturally, they sat down and
began booting the whole system up.
"SWWEEEEEEET," smiled Fencedude.
"What are you playing?" asked Devin.
"Mario Sunshine."
"0.o"
ChiZPoof and Kaboobi were fighting over an Xbox controller.
"SPLINTER CELL!"
"HALO!"
"Splinter Cell is teh rox0rz!"
"Halo is multiplayer."
"...good point."
Meanwhile, Devin was checking his moderator queue on the PC. Suddenly,
everything froze. "Uh, guys..."
"?"
"I think I'm lagging."
Fence cried out. "Wtf? My Mario Sunshine is choppy!"
ChiZPoof and Kaboobi were in a similar situation. "We're getting pwned! Too
much lag!"
"What's going on?"
"Call Tech Support!"
At that moment, they heard a voice from the halls of #gamefaqs. It sounded like a song, though they couldn't decide until the voice got closer.
Hey ho, wassup yo!
Get a job, your wife's a ho!
Kicking ass, drinking beer
That's my job coz I am PEER!
The Mods ran out.
"HELP! We're lagging!!" The odd figure laughed and walked into the
room. There, he continued singing.
Hey ho, wassup yo!
Annoying like a hag Old Man Lag!
Begone I say! For you will hear
I am none other, Lag's Bane PEER!
Suddenly the lag subsided. Everything was disconnected by Peer. The Mods were overjoyed, and were about to shower their hero with Karma, but he was gone. They followed his happy voice through the dark halls of #gamefaqs, until they came across a small house. There, they heard the voice again.
Hey ho, wassup yo!
Let us sing, and sing together!
My sexy wife, dressed in leather!
Whose emotions change just like the weather!
Come, my love, let us be one forever!
Whose name starts with W, and ends with FEATHER!
Outside, the Mods blinked. "WFEATHER!?"
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Last updated May 8 2004