Backbiting

The Prophet (s) said, "The faith of a slave is not straight (complete) until his heart is straight (clean) and his heart will not be straight (clean) until his tongue is straight (i.e.. careful with what it says)". (Ahmad)

The tongue is an interpreter of the heart which expresses what it contains of faith or disbelief. For this reason our noble Messenger (s) advised us to purify our hearts and make it a place filled with love for Allah and filled with love for that which is good so that it will be on the path of steadfastness. Steadfastness moves from the heart to the tongue, from the inner to the outer. After that, the word is transferred into action by all the senses of the person who is on the path of light and guidance from Allah (swt).

The tongue is a blessing from Allah and it has a specific role like all other organs in the body. Some people misuse the tongue for purposes other than what it was intended. They speak about what does not concern them, they lie and make false claims swearing by Allah, and they talk bad about others as if there were no angels recording their actions. Allah says,

(Remember!) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being after he or she has attained the age of puberty), one sitting on the right and one on the left (to note his or her actions). Not a word does he (or she) utter, but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it). (Quran, Al-Qaf:17-18)

Abu Huraira (r) related that the Messenger of Allah (s) said, "A slave speaks a word not realising the gravity (severity) or the word, and is thrown into the fire which is deeper than what is between the east and the west." (Bukhari) This person has abandoned enjoining good and forbidding evil and abandoned the remembrance of Allah and made himself busy with the faults of others; scandalising them, forgetting that he is also full of faults (mistakes). Many people do not realise the truth about the forbidden backbiting. The devil comes to them in many different ways to plunge them into it. On some occasions we hear them saying, "what I have said is present in them" and on other occasions they say, "I am prepared to say this in front of him" along with many other excuses. With all these excuses or justifications for backbiting, backbiting remains backbiting.

The Prophet (s) described it completely and clarified its reality so that every believer knows about it, in order to stop his tongue from hurting other believers. Abu Huraira (r) narrated that the Prophet (s) said, "Backbiting is saying something about your brother which he does not like." (Abu Dawood)

And in another hadith narrated by Abu Huraira (r), the Prophet (s) said, " One who talks about a man has backbited". (Al-Hakim)

Al-Khara-iti relates in his book "Masawi Al-Akhlaq" that Abdul Mutalib ibn Abdullah related that the Prophet (s) said, "Backbiting is talking about a man behind his back". Abu Huraira (r) relates that the Prophet (s) said to his companions, " Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best". The Prophet (s) said, "(It is) Saying things about your brother that he does not like". They said, "Even if what is said about him is present (in him)?" The Prophet said, "If he has what you have said then you have backbited and if it is not present then you have slandered". (Muslim)

If after understanding all of the above hadith the person continues to backbite, Allah (swt) will hurry the punishment of this person in this world and the hereafter and will scandalise the person and follow this with exposing his faults just as he exposed the faults of the believers.

Al-Barai ibn 'Azib relates that the Prophet (s) said, " O people who believe in their tongues, and faith has not entered their hearts, do not backbite the Muslims, and do not pursue their faults, the one who pursues the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah will pursue his mistakes. And the one whom Allah pursues (the errors), Allah will scandalise him, even in his house". (Abu Dawood)

The punishment will follow him to his grave because of hurting the Muslims with his tongue. Abu Bakr (r) narrated, "I was walking with the Prophet (s) and he was holding my hand with another person on his left. We passed by a graveyard in front of us and the Prophet (s) said, 'they are being punished for major sins. One of them is being punished because of not washing after using the toilet and the other is being punished because of backbiting' ". (Ibn Majah)

Not only will they be punished in the grave, but the words that they have said will remain with them and be a cause of grief for them in the hereafter. Anas (r) related that the Prophet (s) said, "When I ascended to the heavens I passed by a group of people with nails of copper, combing their faces and chests with it. I said: 'Who are those people Jibreel?' Jibreel replied: ' Those are the ones who eat the flesh of people and backbite them' ". (Abu Dawood)

It is forbidden for a Muslim to talk about his Muslim brother behind his back. It is also not permitted for him to describe any of his characteristics even if it is about his brothers eating habits, drinking habits, sleeping habits or the way he dresses. For example, it is not permitted for him to say, "He eats too much" or "He is very stingy" or any other actions, no matter how small or insignificant it may be. Even more severe than this is to imitate the way a person walks or the way he talks to make fun of him because this is more severe than backbiting itself. If a person sees something in his brother that he does not like, or hears or sees something which is displeasing he should supplicate to himself that Allah should cure that person with that which he has tested him. He should not mention these things in front of others. Al-Bara ibn 'Azib related that the Prophet (s) said, "Usury (interest) has 72 doors, the lowest is that a man should commit adultery with his mother and the highest degree is backbiting". (Tabarani)

Usury is a great sin, the punishment for it is that Allah declares war on the person dealing in it. Like the examples above regarding the severest and lowest degrees of usury, do we reflect on the gravity of what has been stated? Do we comprehend and understand?

A Muslim should not even imitate an action even though he does not say anything. Aisha (r) is narrated to have said, "I said to the Prophet ...enough of Safia, she is such and such (showing with her hand that she is short)." The Prophet (s) said, "You have said a word that if you were to put it in the ocean it would change it (meaning the ocean would be changed from something clean and pure to something unclean and damaged)". (Tirmithi). One word does this and hurts that much! Aisha did not even say "short", she pointed to it by a sign and this is proof of the severity of mocking believers whether it is about their height or weight etc.

Just as talking about others is forbidden, so to is listening to it. Allah says,

And follow not (O man i.e.. say not, or do not or witness not etc.) that of which you have no knowledge (e.g. one's saying: 'I have seen,' while in fact he has not seen , or 'I have heard,' while he has not heard). Verily! The hearing and the sight, and the heart, of each of those you will be questioned (by Allah). (Quran, Al-Israa:36)

The one who backbites and the one who listens are equal in error (sin). Anas ibn Malik (r) narrated, "The Arabs used to serve each other while travelling. Abu Bakr and Umar had a person with them who served them. They woke up and he did not prepare food for them. One said to the other, 'he is sleeping as if at home'. So they woke him up. They said to him, 'Go to the Prophet and say to him Abu Bakr and Umar send greetings upon you and they invite you to eat with them.' The servant returned and told them that the Prophet said 'they have already eaten'. They were shocked and came to the Prophet and said, 'O Prophet (s), we sent him to invite you to eat with us and you said we have already eaten, what have we eaten?' He said ' the flesh of your brother', and swearing by Allah the Prophet said, 'I see his flesh between your teeth'. They said 'seek forgiveness for us' and the Prophet said, 'he should seek forgiveness for you' ". From this we understand that the backbiter and the listener are equal in sin because one said it while the other listened and agreed. This saying of the Prophet (s) was for the one who said it and the one who listened. This is as Allah (swt) says,

...And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (Quran, Al-Hujraat:12)

Allah says that backbiting is like eating the flesh of a dead person. In this there is a strong and severe reprimand for anybody who intends to backbite. They should think about what they intend to say before they say it then later regret their actions.

For this reason it is compulsory on a Muslim to stop backbiting when he hears it, and caution (warn) the one who is backbiting with good, kind words and wisdom. Allah has promised for the one who defends his absent brother with a great reward and promised to protect him from the fire. Abu Ad-Darda (r) related that the Prophet (s) said, "The one who rebuts another from backbiting has protected himself from the fire." (Al-Baihaqi). In another hadith Asma bint Yazid related that the Prophet (s) said, "The one who rebuts backbiting has a right over Allah to protect him from the fire." (Tabarani) Abu Ad-Darda (r) related that the Prophet (s) said, "The one who rebuts another from backbiting, Allah will rebut (remove) the fire from his face on Judgment Day". (At Tirmithi) Anas (r) related that the Prophet (s) said, "The one who defends another in his absence, Allah will make him victorious in this life and the next." (Al-Baihaqi)

Rebutting backbiting is a characteristic of a believer. Allah says,

And when they hear Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk), they withdraw from it and say: "To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant. (Quran, Al-Qasas:55)

The believer knows that the devil wants to destroy him because he rejects backbiting by rebutting it. If he cannot change the topic of conversation he should dislike it in his heart and leave the gathering, remembering Allah's saying,

...And if Shaitan causes you to forget, then after the remembrance sit not you in the company of those people who are the Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.) (Quran, Al-An'am:68)

Remember, the Prophet (s) said, "...no one believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (Muslim)

However, under some circumstances a person is required to talk about his brother. These circumstances are:

1. If the person is being oppressed. In this case you are allowed to talk about the person who oppresses so that the oppressed may take what is rightfully his. He should only talk out of necessity and only to the one who can assist the oppressed person in taking his right from the oppressor.

2. Requesting a fatwa (Islamic ruling). For example, you may say "my brother did such and such (recalling the event), what do I do?" It is permitted to recall the incident and not mentioning the name of the person (this is better) so that a fatwa may be obtained.

3. When seeking marriage, setting up a business or being a witness. If a man asked another about a third person who has proposed it is permitted for the one being asked to say what he knows about the one who has proposed. When talking about him (the one seeking marriage) the one who knows him should be honest about what he says, without diminishing the persons value nor exaggerating his faults.

4. Cautioning people about bad/evil-doers. If a person propagates forbidden or evil, or something which contains shirk, it is permitted to warn people about that person until they are convinced about the misleading information.

These four circumstances under which backbiting is permitted has certain conditions which should be fulfilled. Purity of intention to Allah (swt). He should not talk about the faults of a man (who has proposed to a woman) because of envy or dislike. It is a responsibility and a trust which Allah has ordered.

Lastly, if a Muslim knows what backbiting is and knows its dangers and the severity of the sin he should repent to Allah for those actions before there is no chance left. When Judgment Day comes, the one who has backbited shall have his good deeds taken away from him and given to the one whom he has harmed by backbiting. If his good deeds have been depleted, the other persons (the one who was harmed) bad deeds will be taken and given to the who backbited and he will be dragged by the face and taken to the fire.

If the Muslim knows that his tongue will be a witness he should repent before the Day comes when he will regret what he has done. Perfect repentance is to regret the action you have committed against your Muslim brother, to stay away from it in future and committing yourself not to ever return to that action. If he remembers those whom he has backbited before knowing the reality of backbiting and the severity of the punishment for one who backbites he should supplicate for that person in their absence.