BALMAIN BUGGERY
| Good evening folks and welcome, |
| To this evening’s revelry, |
| I thought I’d start by telling, |
| How this evening came to be. |
| It started with the publican, |
| Who had a word to Mel, |
| "We’ve got to bring some culture, |
| To an old Balmain hotel" |
| "Let’s send the bouncers home, |
| lest we be accused of thuggery, |
| Put Bushwackers and sheep on stage, |
| And call it "Balmian Buggery" |
| An Australiana free-for-all, |
| Except it won’t be free, |
| Of course we’ll need a compare," |
| And that’s how you’re stuck with me. |
| I didn’t what buggery meant, |
| But I got a small insight, |
| While thumbing thru the dictionary, |
| Before I came tonight. |
| Now buggery means "Anal sex |
| With human or with beast" |
| So take your choice, but I’d suggest, |
| The one that hurts the least. |
| A human bot of either sex, |
| Will no doubt do just fine, |
| Or dog or cat or cow or horse, |
| Avoid the porcupine. |
| While in the rural regions, |
| Before capital divested, |
| The economy rode on the sheeps back, |
| I tried, and got arrested. |
| Yes, now it’s time, I must confess, |
| That one of my great loves, |
| Is to follic in the paddocks, |
| With a pair of velcro gloves. |
| What luck should now befall me, |
| For coming to this show, |
| Is a man who shears (shares) his sheep, |
| So we all can have a go. |
| But we’ve got one more support act, |
| To keep you all inspired, |
| How ‘bout a country singer, |
| Cracking whips and breathing fire." |
| Missing Verse! |
| Yes buggery’s the theme, |
| And it won’t be very long, |
| Till we hear Dobe forget the words, |
| And bugger every song!!!! |
©copyright A Jack 1995
Written for the "Balmain Buggery" show featuring the Bushwackers, live sheep shearing, and a whip cracking, fire breather. (As well as me)