Now gather while I tell you,

Of a famous bush romance,

That started at Bindurri,

And the 'Young Graziers' dance.

T'was the highlight of the social year,

A most important date,

When single folk would come to town,

To find themselves a mate.

And all the girls would pretty up,

A husband for to catch,

While farmers sons in coats and ties,

Looked for the perfect match,

Dave came into town,

For the first time in his life,

In overalls and gumboots,

To try and find a wife.

Now Dave was pretty dumb,

And his I.Q. was so small,

That several doctors claimed

He didn’t have a brain at all.

Sheila was a country girl,

As ugly as could be,

She'd wrestle mallee bulls,

And alligators, (for a fee).

A massive wart sat on her nose,

Her teeth poked every way,

And just the mere sight of her,

Put the chooks right off the lay.

When Dave set eyes on Sheila,

Cupid pulled his bow string tight,

If it wasn't for his lack of brains,

He may have died of fright.

Dave came up to Sheila,

With a classic opening line,

"Hey, you wanna come to my place,

And watch me plough sometime?

I've got real good disc harrows,

And a scarifier too,

But first I'd like to offer,

Just to have a dance with you.

"Sure thing" answered Sheila,

She had not been asked before,

So arm in arm, they twirled and whirled,

And danced across the floor.

They soon became inseparable,

And dance on till quite late,

By the time the ball was over,

They'd set the wedding date.

They had the wedding in a barn,

Amongst the sheep and cows,

Hay bales lined the aisle,

Past an honour guard of sows.

They soon set up a farm,

Where they lived so happily,

To raise their goats and horses,

And a little family.

So now they have five kids,

And the locals say its sad,

Cos all five are dumb and ugly,

Just like their Mum and Dad.