A Wierd Chess Game

A brief note of explanation about what follows can in no way decrease ones understanding of what follows. It is basicly a record of what was said during a chess game held at about 7pm on the last day of lectures. The two players are Duncan and Justin. The observer is Kevin, and the person actually recording all this was Danielle. No claims of comprehensibility, sense, logic, internal consistency, obediance of the laws of physics, or any other rationality at all are made regarding the following. Enjoy.
"Death to all stupid Queens!" The guys behind me are allegedly playing chess. Kevin's making the odd comment. Justin's thinking ponderously and saying his usual smattering of "up your ass" sort of comments. Duncan's tapping annoying rhythms on the desk that are giving me a headache. Someone called Brett who I don't actually know is trying out his new mini computer calculator gadget.
Justn missed out taking a queen.
The "flamenco rhythm" momentarily stopped and whistling-filled silence reigned. Justins losing most pitifully against all helpful hints of his long-haired table thumping opponent. The whistling appears to be Greensleeves now. It does not match the beat. Duncan's starting to wonder if his beat's annoying people. No, sorry, I got it wrong. He was annoyed because his beat wasn't what he wanted it to be. It would be a nice beat, but I've got a headache. Perhaps it's not a good idea for me to start learning percussion. Kevin chews the hairs off his right forearm. Justin has strange bald patches on his ankles that have nothing to do with karate.
Everyone except Brett has joined in the rhythm. Justin is befuddled.
That's it. Kevin just cracked his knuckles most audibly. Not a good idea. That'll encourage Justin who last Friday gave us a grotesquely audible tour of his joints. Duncan isn't playing too well. Perhap's Justin's winning after all and it was all a ploy.
"You're freaking me out man" Justin says, and Duncan turns it into a techno song
"oonce oonce... oonce ya freaking me out man" It somehow turned into "there's a hole in my bucket"
Now there's the obvious comment about pawns and porn.
"Hey Duncan, look over there" Says Justin as he loses patience with the game.
"I do all my patronising with a spatula. It's the best way to patronise", says the three incomprehensibly as usual.
Subtle psychological by Duncan. "I'm winning. I'm cool"
Subtle as a ten tonne truck.
oods oods boots half a ton of dried cement BOOT.
Oh dear. pop goes the weasel. That's nice. Before when I came in here everybody was depressed, now they're quite chirpy.
Free porn! AAAH! Duncan lost a porn. I mean a pawn. Everybody got a shock.
They're even. Justin's got a bunch of parns versus a bishop.
"Have your go. And don't spare the horses. Have them slaughtered."
"You're not doing anything. DO something"
"You're a doody-head"
"You're a sick-ass wierdo."
horses don't lie down.
Just a question, but aren't the undead on the side of the forces of darkness?
more pop goes the weasel
Kevin says Justin is gay and Justin is gay
Kevin is Justin and Justin is Kevin
You're giving a bad name to the physics department
You mean the physics department has a name?
Yes. It's called the physics department.
"He's freaking me out man"

Stairway to heaven with a few oonce oonces.

Now they're discussing holey mackerals and Justin's decided to start attacking himself.

"I play against Justin because it's challenging"
laughter all round. Duncan is losing again.
challenging not to laugh says Kevin.
< girly scream >

I can put the dis back into functional
I can put the fun back into functional analysis

Justin is trying to delay the inevitable
Brett's left to puck up doug
Kevin's decided to stay here. He thinks chess is fun. fun is chess. chun is fess.
another girly scream.
A song by Kevin "I like physics, I'm insane, physics is my aeroplane. fess is very chun"
(der)
(I tune off for a while and play clickomania)
"Poo bum head" (Dem's fighting words)
"You... calling me... a poo bum head..."
Tim peeps in the door. This is when his day starts, he says. It's nice and cool.
We think he must be nocturnal.
They've just realised you can sing the Australian anthem to the tune of Gilligan's Island.
"That rocks"
"No it doesn't"

"Oh fuck"
"OHHHHHHH! Very j0R"
Duncan obviously just did something very clever.
HE WINS!!!
good night

Home