Brakey's Haiku Collection

This is a collection of haikus created by myself and some friends. For those of you who don't know, a haiku is a three line poem in which the first line has 5 syllables, the second line has 7 syllables and the third line has 5 syllables. On this page, the haikus I have not written have the name of the author following them. Also on this page are links to what I call epic haikus, a series of haikus telling a larger story.
Relativity
A story of the history of Einstein's theory of relativity.
The Mystery Error Bar
A contribution to the lead up to the Mystery Error Bar, an event which was quite fun.
Quantum Mechanics
As a study aid for quantum mechanics, I tried to write my revision notes in haiku form. I've got a long way to go yet.
Haiku mail
See what others have to say about this collection.
Death to all dead fish
They sing in mute monotone
Integrals exist - Ashley

Boom goes the shotgun
A chemical reaction
Those dogs run quickly - Ashley

Physics Department
Understands Universes
Made in their own minds

Haikus are not fun
Some of them are very dumb
Of them this is one

Soft porn is free with
Any pizza that you choose
Enjoy the funbags - Les

Hail the haiku board
Write on me, much as you like
Use me to convey - Austin

Physics error bar
Curry, drinks and other stuff
Mayhem can be found

The great court is wet
I desire a boogey board
So that I may slide

This is not haiku
It can't stay up on this board
It will have to go - Kylie

Soft drinks one dollar
Hard drinks two dollars twenty
porn free with pizza - Price list

Did you know that my
Brain is mouldy vegetables
Care to take a bite? - Ashley

Yes I would like to
But I don't know where it's been
So not today friend - Justin

The gutter mostly
But then I really don't know
Why don't you tell me - Kylie

Standing is such fun
We get our curry later
Les is impatient - unknown

Gutters filled with rain
Rain rain rain rain rain rain rain
It is rather wet - Danielle

Ashley is not vague
He uses innuendo
To make bad comments

Justin is not light
He jumped on a table
It is now broken

Math 3 1 0 1
Equations of moving things
Chaos can be found

Tetrahedron game
Causes problem in the brain
Is it possible?

Today's first haiku
It will be inspiration
For many others

Oh do you think so?
I don't believe it will be
So quit now Kevin - Justin

But in doing so
You have caused it to be true
Quit while your ahead

I can never quit
There is too much at stake here
So I must fight on - Justin

To your doom you head
There is no honor fighting
If you cannot win

I beg to differ
There is honor in fighting
If you cannot win - Justin

That's a lame haiku
Poetry is not for you
Try Quantum Physics - Matthew

You're a copycat
You cant't think up your own stuff
The battle is won

The battle is won
But I am the victor here
So you can piss off - Justin

A hasty retreat
You are deluding yourself
Drink your own urine

As opposed to you
How you play with yourself
Eat crap and die punk - Justin

You have sunk so low
You still have no argument
Cease your crude insults

Kevin just stop it
You have lost so admit it
God damn you suck Pip - Justin

But my statements true
Thus your arguments are false
I have won the war

Falsities can't win
You are the one who is wrong
Just give up Kevin - Justin

You add nothing good
You are wasting all the chalk
Cease your death throes now

You are wasting chalk
You are guilty as well now
So suffer with me - Justin

Sophistication
You can take many small steps
next try a journey - Brett

Your haiku writing
Take the pebble from my hand
Novice grasshopper - Brett

Today's last haiku
It isn't premature
I sure hope it works - Dan

The rising tackle
Is just too kewl for you all
So you can bite me - Justin

We do not want to
It would be unhygenic
You would taste icky

How would you know Kev?
For all you know I taste hot
Thats what the girls say - Justin

I did make a guess
I was trying to mock you
I don't want to know

You have now opened
A bad pandora's box
Now all will suffer - Justin

Dear God forgive me
I did not know what I did
Spare the innocent

I said all will die
Well at least they will suffer
That includes innocents - Justin

Find velocity
Simply do dx/dt
Yay! I passed first year - Dan

A place of learning
Bah I see no learning here
Just half baked haikus - Duncan

Our tutorial
We'll hand in tomorrow
Help us Sarah please - Matthew

There is no help now
We are truly beyond help
It is time to die - Justin

I will surrender
I resign myself to fate
And join the circus - Matthew

Justin's negative
His haikus are all morbid
Look at that one there - Dan

Dan lives in denial
Get a job you hippie freak
And leave me alone - Justin

You are just upset
Due to Chubrowski Bog and
Go jump in the lake - Dan

It is not funny
To deface a great legend
Such as the lone wolf - Justin

Duncan's hair's too long
He must be put in his place
you're a doody head - Dan

To solve a system
Find the Hamiltonian
And you're nearly there - Dan

Ich habe liebe
fur meine hamburgen und fleish
Brett does not agree - Dan

You can't hold no groove
If your pockets are too scarce
I wear cargo pants - Dan

Justin is a fool
Why don't we leave it at that?
You're still a big tool - Dan

Lone wolf or hungry
Why don't you make up your mind
You suck anyway - Matthew

It's these damn haikus
They have caused me to be late
For my next subject

I got the duster
Because you all are lazy
Cease your mocking now

Why don't you make me
Go and blow it out your ass
Jesus funken christ - Justin

Cease your blasphemy
Respect the music of funk
Persecute it not

Funk is not music
It is just a lot of noise
Go and burn in hell - Justin

I won't go to hell
They have said it don't exist
The DJs say so

THE DJs ARE WRONG
It does so exist right here
So you suffer now - Justin

I do not suffer
I enjoy living my life
This could be heaven

Since when has heaven
Had death and decay in it
Now you too will rot - Justin

Why should not heaven
Be imperfect and with fate
Challenge humanity

Heaven should be nice
Where everyone is good
And it is pleasent - Justin

Such a place is dull
It does not provide challenge
And so leads to death

Nirvana is good
We need to have perfection
Like the budhist monks - Justin

Perfection is bad
It leaves no room to develop
Time must cease to be

How can time not be?
Just because One is dead
What about the rest? - Justin

If there is no change
The we cannot measure time
So does time exist?

Is time real at all?
Who said it exists anyway?
It could all be false - Justin

Things we see do change
Changes follow each other
The sequence is time

But only because
Nirvana has not been attained
By the changing one - Justin

But the changing one
Enjoys the challenge in change
It provides meaning

A changing system
Does not know a challenge
And now you are flawed - Justin

But change is challenge
To not change is to not be
We need flaws to live

Exactly "to live"
Nirvana states that in death
Perfection is reached - Justin

But is perfection
Something to be desired
or a boring death?

Perfection is death
Reincarnation awaits,
awaits all the flawed - Justin

Perfection is not
An end to be realised
The means are what counts

Don't rip off eva
You are not Gendo Ikari
Do not insult him - Justin

Do not introduce
Things that are not relevant
To the argument

Take your own advice
Just admit that I am right
We are out of space - Justin

We still do have space
We have not yet reached the end
You are not yet right

Now this is the end
Recycling board space is bad
It's like recycling - Justin

Recycling is good
It aids the enviroment
Old cans are not good

Permanent haiku
It's difficult to erase
Sarah will be mad - Matthew

When I make a rule
It will be you have to make
A haiku on primes

That is very cruel
It is hard to pick it up
Play a rule like mine - Justin

The haikus will be
Quite easy to decipher
The primes might be hard

That is very true
But is it hard to be kind?
Think of your karma - Justin

In the game of Mal
You are not meant to be kind
Else you'd state the rules

But you could make rules
That help the unfortunate
Who have lots of cards - Justin

But that is not fun
Made up rules are not easy
For those who don't know

My rule is easy
It is about chaining stuff
So I win quicker - Justin

That is a copout
For those who cannot recognise
Patterns in the rules

It is very odd
When the rulemaker forgets
Their own made up rule - Justin

The rulemaker's rule
Is a work of art of theirs
They can't forget it

But Joel forgot his
Once he did not follow it
Again you are flawed - Justin

A single mistake
Does not destroy principles
That are sacrocanct

But in breaking it
Joel is one of the damned
And you too will burn - Justin

I will not be damned
My rules I will keep intact
Until my death day

You're ready to die
And then suffer terribly
I swear I will win - Justin

I am not prepared
To die this day or year
You will have to wait

I'll wait forever
It will not be too difficult
I will duel for now - Justin

I do doubt your claim
There will be a time when you
Will not want to wait

The warrior way
Says that one has discipline
Having this, I wait - Justin

But eternity
Is a long time for waiting
Can you last it out?

If my discipline
Is great enough then I can
We will have to see - Justin

Your discipline raises
Many doubts within my mind
That can't be resolved

Worry not dueler
Discipline is a virtue
Just like my patients - Justin

You're not a doctor
You ought not to have patients
You should learn to spell

Why don't you make me?
I don't see your PHD
In medicine kev - Justin

There is a reason
I am a physics student
I don't want to heal

You would not want to
I doubt you'd go anywhere
To do anything - Justin

A quite lengthy task
Repeating derivatives
Over and Over

God damn I am boned
What I would giev to get out
I want to eat now - Justin

Vicek the sadist
He kills off a small forest
With each of his tutes

Not only his tutes
His notes are quite heavy too
He's not a greenie - Justin

I will skip the tute
And head over to VISAC
To do some work there

It sounds like a plan
I should do the same as that
My C does not work - Justin

I plan to make my
Satellite orbit the moon
Before the day ends

Since when did NASA
Give you a space satellite
Oh, you mean comp - Justin

I did build my own
And launched it last December
It is up there still

Satellites you made
Are likely made from cardboard
So "up" on the roof - Justin

Cardboard is no good
For building your satellite
Use paper mache

Did you use mache
If so, I don't want to know
How you made it stick - Justin

I will not tell you
Until I get the patents
On my new methods

There's no "hand-action"
In making the glue, I hope
Otherwise, that's gross - Justin

The making of glue
Requires the use of hands
In stirring the mix

Hopf bifurcations
Changing center manifolds
Limit cycles form

Motion equations
Fixed points they do occur when
The change is zero

The Jacobian
Matrix of derivatives
Gives fixed points nature

Quantised lattice waves
Similar to a photon
We call them phonons

My mind is empty
No thoughts are flowing today
Logic drains my brain - Ashley

Writing on plastic
Overhead Transparency
Where are my sunnies?

Blank squares on a tape
Go off to infinty
On both of the ends

Bald man teaching class
He's thinking he knows logic
Instead, this is shit - Ashley

I hava a head ache
Ouch its hurting so much
Please just kill me now - Les

You provide the gun
And also just one bullet
I will ease your pain

Les is going bald
Death is to good for him
Let's laugh at him now - Ashley

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