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Transcript 257D — Communion and Forgiveness
CALLER: If you have hurt someone very, very deeply, and of course you repent after, and you beg the party to forgive you, and they will not, absolutely will not, can you go to Communion?
HC: In other words they will not accept your forgiveness?
CALLER: They will not. I've forgiven them for not forgiving me, I mean. But I still don't feel at ease because they will not forgive me. And I've sent a great sum of money, and everything, thinking maybe that would solve it. But nothing, they just spend the money and don't even acknowledge it, and won't acknowledge my pleading.
HC: Well, let me see if I can help you.
The question raised is a very practical question. The question is raised concerning the matter of forgiving somebody who will not forgive us, or accept our forgiveness.
Now the Bible says, in Matthew 6:14, "For if you forgive men their trespasses your Heavenly Father also will forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Now what am I to do? I have sinned against someone, or they have sinned against me. At any rate, there is something that is between us that is not right. And now, because I want to be right with God, I don't want to have this sin of a lack of forgiveness standing between me and God, this bitterness that I might feel in my soul toward this person, I go to this person and I say, "I forgive you. I forgive you, and would you please forgive me? Can't we be reconciled one with another?"
And you've gone to the Lord and confessed your sin and know that He has forgiven you for your sin. You've gone to your friend and patiently and tenderly tried to make reconciliation. But your friend is adamant. Your friend says, "No. I will not forgive you. You were too bad. You were too awful." They are treasuring, they are nourishing, they are feeding on this bitterness that is in their own soul. They love it too much. What are we to do?
Can we now go to Communion? Can we feel that we have straightened out this matter between ourselves and God? Well, yes indeed, we can. The Bible says in Romans 12:16, "Live in harmony with one another." And then in verse 17 , "Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all."
Now that's all the further we can go. We want to be at peace with our neighbor, we have asked for forgiveness, we have confessed our sins to our neighbor and he refuses to be reconciled, then our neighbor has to answer to God for his action. We have done what God has asked us to do. We can know that we are right before God in this matter, and we need not struggle in our conscience anymore with it, even though we may be grieved in our hearts because we cannot be reconciled.
But this is all that we can do. As much as it depends upon us, we are trying to live peacefully with all. If our friend does not want to live peacefully, that is something outside of our control.