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Transcript 316A — Morality Standards Apply Equally to Men
HC: Good evening. Welcome to Open Forum.
CALLER: Hello. I have a question. Are we to teach our sons to be really pure until they're married, and not just our daughters?
HC: Absolutely. The Bible does not have a double standard, so that there is one standard for our sons and another standard for our daughters. The Bible says, "Let the marriage be undefiled," and "Let marriage be held in honor amongst all." This is Hebrews 13:4.
CALLER: Where does this double standard come from? What was the status of women long ago? Where does the Bible say anything about men keeping themselves sexually pure?
HC: The question is, does the Bible in any sense teach a double standard, that there is one level of purity that the woman is to observe and another that the man is to observe? No, the Bible does not teach any kind of a double standard. Judah's sin in going into his daughter-in-law, whom he thought was just a harlot (he didn't know it was his daughter-in-law) was just as sinful as any other adulterous action, even though it's not condemned in the context. However, in the rest of the context of the Bible it definitely is condemned.
In Exodus 20 God says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery. And that is a command to mankind, "Thou shalt not commit adultery." It's just as serious for a man to commit adultery as it is for a woman.
CALLER: I am deeply concerned because I have seven sons, and so far I have two sons who are unmarried, and they are still virgins. And they keep telling me that they are really made fun of, because most young men their age are not virgins. I don't understand why ministers don't even make this point.
HC: Well, that is the situation in the world. In the world all around us man has rewritten the laws of God. He has come to the conclusion that he can have sexual relationships outside of marriage. This not only is true in connection with men today, but also in connection with women. There was a day when the world's standards were that the men had certain rights in this area, and the women did not. Today we're living in a world in which the women also are beginning to consider that it is their right.
But in neither case is it their right. In both cases they are going absolutely and definitely contrary to the Word of God. Now any time we live in accordance with the Word of God, of course we're going to be maligned. Of course we'll be slandered and ridiculed. This is the nature of doing it God's way. Mankind is perverse. Mankind is rebellious against God. They don't like God's Law, and therefore they don't like anyone who keeps God's Law. They're going to find ways in which to make it difficult. But if we love the Lord, if Christ is our Savior, then we want in every department of our life to live as righteously before God as possible.
CALLER: I wonder if people are teaching their sons this. When I was brought up, young men were taught that they were to "sow their oats," meaning that they have to have a sexual outlet.
HC: In the case of a Christian home, in which the father is a child of God, of course he is teaching this to his children, if he is being obedient to God's command to train up your children in the fear and the knowledge of the Lord There should be no condoning of this kind of sin at all.
Unfortunately, today there are not that many Christian homes. And even in homes where the mother is a Christian, very frequently the father is not a Christian. And so they may not be getting that kind of training. But if the home is a Christian home, and the father is taking his responsibility to bring up his children in the way that they should go, then by all means one of the things that he is talking about to his children is the fact that sexual relationships are something that must be limited to the marriage relationship. Unfortunately, we don't have that many Christian homes. Unfortunately, society has become decadent, society has degenerated, and man is doing what is right in his own eyes, to a very high degree.
But wonderfully, there are Christian homes that still remain. There are young people that are growing up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, so that they want to be obedient to Him. And this is something that we can be grateful for.
Now to find young people who are truly doing it God's way, it's harder and harder to find these. But nevertheless they still exist. We still are in the day of grace, when salvation is still found in our people.
Thank you so much for sharing that good observation.
CALLER: I was worried in a sense, because I was afraid that I might be wrong, because so many of my sons' friends at the university that they go to are going the other way.
HC: You know, there is an old Sunday School song that goes like this, "Dare to be a Daniel, Dare to stand alone. Dare to have a purpose firm, and dare to make it known." Now Daniel, in the face of certain death, stood alone in disobeying King Nebuchadnezzar, and refusing to give up his prayer life. The three young men in the Book of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, in the face of certain death, refused to bow down before the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had raised. They really stood alone.
When we study the Bible, we find that those who really belong to Christ very very very frequently stand alone. That's not uncommon at all. When Elijah was on Mount Carmel, as we read in the Bible, there were more than 450 prophets of Baal, many of whom were fellow Israelites. And Elijah stood alone. He was all alone on Mount Carmel, standing on God's side.
Jeremiah in his day, Ezekiel in his day, stood alone. It's as common as grass, insofar as the Bible is concerned, to stand alone when we stand for God.
To teach our children to stand alone in the face of the persecution, the slander, the maligning, all the things that will come against them, is to teach them to go God's way. We have to have young men and young women who are courageous enough to stand alone. If we're going to be Christians, increasingly we have to stand alone.
When persecution came in years past, and many people were denying Christ in order to save their lives in the face of certain death, being burned at the stake or being cast to the lions, there were those who stood alone. They were willing to stand for Christ even though it meant certain death.
Now in our land today, and in many lands today, to stand for Christ brings against us nothing more serious than that we may be maligned or slandered or laughed at. And that of course can be serious enough. In many lands, however, to stand alone and not deny Christ means certainly to be cast into a concentration camp or to even lose one's life.
But that is the life of the believer. That is what God calls us to be. I rejoice in the fact that we as believers can stand courageously before God, knowing that we are on God's side, even though the towers are falling all around us, that is, even though there are friends and neighbors and relatives and church members, and what have you, who are going the other way.
As Christians it's our joy, it's our privilege, it's our calling, to stand courageously for Christ in the fact of anything that the world might come against us with.
CALLER: I'll simply have to remain firm.
HC: Altogether, altogether. The sexual relationship is a wonderful relationship that God has bestowed upon mankind. But it is only wonderful in the marriage relationship. Sexual relationship outside of marriage is adultery. It's fornication. It is sinful. It is altogether rebellion against God.
May you have much wisdom as you continue to train your sons and your daughter this way.
CALLER: Thank you very much, Brother Camping.
HC: You're welcome. Good night.