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Is Adultery Grounds For Divorce? – Understanding Matthew 19:9
HC: Good evening. Welcome to Open Forum.
CALLER: Yes. I'd like to know what is the difference between an annulment and a divorce?
HC: What is the difference between an annulment and a divorce? An annulment is supposed to be an action whereby it is recognized that a marriage has not taken place. For example, if someone had a marriage license to marry somebody, and yet officially they never became married, they never completed the legal procedures they had to follow, if a Justice of the Peace or a minister or somebody did not actually marry them, then they are not really married, and that marriage license could be annulled.
Or, let's suppose that someone was married by a minister of the Gospel, and they had a marriage license, but they never came together as husband and wife. Right after the marriage something happened so that they were separated, and they never did live together in the sexual union, even for a moment. Then a marriage did not really take place. And therefore it could be annulled.
But unfortunately, there are many annulments taking place today where in actuality there was a marriage. There was a marriage license, according to the eyes of the law they were married, and they lived together in sexual union. But to avoid the blight of calling it a divorce, it is called an annulment. But in that case the annulment is a divorce, and there really isn't any difference at all.
CALLER: But isn't there a reason to get a divorce in Matthew 19:9?
HC: The question is, doesn't Matthew 19:9 give us a reason for divorce? Well, if we took that at face value, if we isolated that verse from the rest of the Bible, it would appear to say that for the cause of fornication a divorce could take place.
Now the Greek word for fornication is pornea, from which we get the word pornographic. Now Jesus said in another place, if any man thinks adulterously about a woman, he already has committed adultery in his heart. Therefore, if anyone engages in any kind of conversation or thinking concerning pornographic material or action, he would already be guilty of fornication.
And that would mean that any woman who ever caught her husband telling a dirty story, which would be fornication, or looking at a "girlie" magazine, or making some remark that was an immoral remark, would have cause for divorce. And by the same token, any man who found the same kind of a thing in his wife, that she was repeating some story that was of a pornographic nature, he would have cause for divorce, if that is what that verse is saying.
In other words, there could be divorce all over the place, because who is there that is not guilty of fornication to some degree at some point in his life?
But this is not what that verse is teaching. This was a cause for divorce in the Old Testament. In Deuteronomy 24:1 we read that if a man found some uncleanness in his wife, he could put her away. Now the word uncleanness was normally translated nakedness, and it had to do with sexual impropriety, with sexual impurity. If some man engaged in a sexual action with his mother, let's say, it was said that he saw the nakedness of his mother, or of a brother or a sister. And the word nakedness is the same Hebrew word that is translated uncleanness in Deuteronomy 24:1.
So effectively what God is saying in Deuteronomy 24:1 is, if any man found any fornication in his wife, then he could put her away. Well, in Matthew 19:5 and 6 Jesus declared, "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder." There is not to be divorce for any reason. Well then, in verse 7 the Jews reminded Him and said, "What about Moses?" They were referring to Deuteronomy 24:1. "Didn't he allow divorce?"
And then Jesus answered them in verses 7 and 8, "From the beginning it was not so. But because of the hardness of your hearts God gave that law." In other words, because you were in rebellion against God, God allowed this, that if a man found fornication in his wife he could put her away But that was not God's intention. "From the beginning it was not so."
And so in verses 7 and 8 God is very clearly indicating that fornication is not a cause for divorce. It had been a cause for divorce for a rebellious nation, that was in rebellion against God, but that was not pleasing to God. That was not God's will. And Christ is setting that possibility aside when He said, "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder."
And then in verse 9 Christ is simply saying, and there's no other reason except fornication, or besides fornication. He's already talked about fornication in verses 7 and 8. And there's no other reason besides fornication whereby you could have a divorce. There is no reason for divorce, in other words. And then He concludes the argument in verse 9 by saying, "If anyone marries a divorced person, they commit adultery."
There is no grounds for divorce that the Bible knows about.
CALLER: None whatsoever?
HC: None whatsoever. The Biblical rule is, "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder." And no Christian marrying must know the word divorce. That ought to be a word that is unknown in his vocabulary.
CALLER: My mother has written down here for me something to ask you. Let me let her ask you this . . .
HC: Hello.
CALLER: Hello. Just because you've been married before a Justice of the Peace or a preacher, does this always mean that God has put you together, or sometimes can men put a couple together?
HC: Well, that's a good question. When God says, "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder," how can we know if a marriage is one that God has put together?
Well, notice that God goes all the way back to the beginning. He says that in the beginning the two became one flesh. In other words, He's talking about all of mankind. Therefore, regardless of whether we're a Christian or not, if we are married in accordance with the law of the land and if we are living together as husband and wife, then we are married in the eyes of God. If the law allows a marriage to be true, if it's by a Justice of the Peace of by a ship's captain, or whoever it is, then that is marriage, if they've come to live together.
You see, if that were not so, then we would have to conclude that the only people who are married in the eyes of God are those who are born again believers. Everyone else in the whole human race would not be married, because they're unsaved. How could that be what God has joined together?
But remember what Jesus said about the Samaritan woman in John 4? She was very unsaved. She was an adulterous woman. And Christ said, "You have had five husbands." And so He recognized marriage for those who were altogether unsaved, just as much as marriage for those who are saved.
CALLER: Thank you.
HC: Thank you for calling. Good night.