Subject: Messageboard Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 17:53:26 +1000 From: Mark Longmuir To: Mark Longmuir Dean: The missing WLIIA ep (20-Jun-1999 20:05:42) Susan: I see Brad was one of the winners. I couldn't remember when Brad has actually won a game. Is this the first or am I completely wrong?:) (n/t) (20-Jun-1999 20:45:54) Dean: It was the first... but Brad also won a game in the 98 series. Still for someone who has competed 20 times he does have a low win ratio! :) (n/t) (20-Jun-1999 21:23:56) Dean: I have added a percentage of wins stat on my stats page, it shows Brad has the lowest win ratio of anyone to have appeared in 7 or more shows! Re: It was the first... but Brad also won a game in the 98 series. Still for someone who has competed 20 times he does have a low win ratio! :) (20-Jun-1999 22:27:03) Julie: Great ep! Thanks for the transcription, Deano! (n/t) (21-Jun-1999 13:52:48) -- Mark Longmuir - longmuir@labyrinth.net.au Homepage: http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~longmuir/ Whose Line is it Anyway? - http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/8451 "Stop tap dancing, you fool!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Image] [Image] Whose Board is it, Anyway? The missing WLIIA ep Sunday, 20-Jun-1999 20:05:42 209.78.48.228 writes: as promised a couple of weeks back, a description of this 1997 ep which screened here. I have transcribed the bits which I thought lent themselves to it... CLIVE ANDERSON: Welcome to WLIIA the improvisation programme where’s there no learning, no script, no rehearsal, just the raw talent of the performers and looking at our team they don’t come much rawer than the one we’ve got tonight. First we have the bulldog spirit of our own London particular Stephen Frost, then our regular Scots Canadian half man half huskie half west highland terrier Colin Mochrie, then our irregular all American half pitbull half Pluto Brad Sherwood then our semi house trained TV star half man half giraffe Ryan Stiles! FILM AND THEATRE STYLES Someone from the audience shouted “slaphead I mean slapstick” and Clive replied “that was a prepared gag at Colin Mochrie’s expense.” Someone else shouted “Playboy channel” and Clive replied “you look like you enjoy that. I don’t get it myself, which is why I watch the Playboy channel.” Ryan has flown all the way from another galaxy to tell Colin he is the only one who can save the planet Earth. Styles: Playboy channel, religious epic, kung fu, speed, Playboy channel again. INTERROGATION Steve and Brad are interrogating Ryan about a crime (he mooned at the Queen) and Ryan has to work out what the crime is from their questions. RYAN STILES: You know I get one phone call, I want to phone a lawyer. BRAD SHERWOOD: You can phone a lawyer later, first you need to do some sinnging, Mr Smartypants. STEPHEN FROST: Yeah you can blow it through your arse matey! RYAN: I don’t just sing for anybody, I only sing on special occasions. And don’t think that I don’t see the guy behind the mirror! (points at Colin seated on his chair at the back) COLIN MOCHRIE: I told you you should have put the glass in the other way! STEVE: Okay now listen. RYAN: You want singing, well, I’ll sing for you later. Maybe. STEVE: You help us and we’ll help you. BRAD: We’re here to help you. (pretends to hit Ryan) STEVE: Listen, listen, listen, I’ll bend over backwards to help you. RYAN: Yes? Not again! I don’t want any more of that, I’m sick of it! STEVE: You know you’ve got a big responsibility on your head. BRAD: That’s right! STEVE: Yeah! BRAD: This crime eclipses all your other crimes! STEVE: Yeah! RYAN: So I like to show people things once in a while! That’s all! STEVE: You’re not all there, that’s your problem! You’re just living out in space man! RYAN: Hey! If you got it flaunt it! BRAD: Yeah, it’s the people you flaunt it to we take offence! RYAN: You think it’s the first time they’ve ever seen a pearly white butt like mine? And what makes them so special? BRAD: They are special! RYAN: You may think they’re special, I don’t have any respect for them at all! STEVE: That’s just your problem! Because there’s a lot of people in this country who do, who look up to her, all right! You have to look up to her because she stands on a balcony all the time! BRAD: All right, I’m going to start the tape, confess. RYAN: All right I made a mistake, I pulled down my pants and showed my pearly white butt... first to Cilla Black... Look she may be your royalty, but she’s not mine! STAND SIT BEND Brad, Colin and Ryan are three 1940s gangsters blowing a safe with cops closing in. WORLDS WORST self improvement or teach yourself video. PROPS Brad and Ryan have two orange rectangular inflatables, Steve and Colin have two circular red table tennis bats. NUMBER OF WORDS Brad is the madam of a brothel in the deep south (5 words), Colin is one of the girls (2 words), Steve is a customer who’s also the mayor (4 words), and Ryan is a policeman raiding the joint (3 words). BRAD: Listen Trixie the mayor’s coming. COLIN: Hot diggety! BRAD: I want you to... (nods his head) COLIN: Do it? STEVE: Well, hi there honey! COLIN: Howdy handsome. STEVE: You look mighty fine! COLIN: Oh, you! BRAD: Hello Mayor, you look terriffic. STEVE: I got no money! COLIN: Bye bye! RYAN: It’s a raid! BRAD: Oh my God a Lord! STEVE: Oh no the cops! RYAN: Oh my! Mayor? COLIN: A raid? BRAD: Listen officer, I can explain. RYAN: Don’t even try! STEVE: Would you like some.... (shrugs his shoulders) RYAN: Sex? No thanks. COLIN: For free? RYAN: Well... for free! STEVE: (to Colin) You never did that! COLIN: (points to Ryan) He washes! FOREIGN FILM DUB Colin and Brad act The Return of the Bald Weasels in Romanian translated by Steve and Ryan. GREATEST HITS Colin and Ryan introduce Brad singing Songs of the Locker Room. RYAN: Hi! COLIN: Hi! RYAN: Ever throwing a party but you just don’t have a record with the right hits to play? Well you do now with 100 Great Hits of the Locker Room. COLIN: Yes! RYAN: I’ll never forget that one song, the song I got my first kiss to. COLIN: Oh what song would that be? RYAN: That was the lovely French ballad, If You Drop The Soap Leave It Where It Is! BRAD: When you are in the shower, If you drop the soap, let it soak for an hour, Don’t worry about it, don’t ever mind, Because if you pick it up someone will come from behind. RYAN: I’m telling you that brings back too many memories. COLIN: I bet, your first kiss to that song! RYAN: Yes! COLIN: And of course no album would be complete... RYAN: You’re not! COLIN: Oh yes! RYAN: Don’t you dare! COLIN: That great disco hit, You Call It Football I Call It Soccer What The Hell. BRAD: There’s a game going on but I do not know what it’s called, A lot of people running round kicking a little spotted ball, Is it football? Is it soccer, what the hell? I do not know the name of it, but I just cannot tell! Do the hustle! RYAN: All that I can say is Schnell! Schnell! Order this album now! Who can ever forget that German beer drinking song, Hey Coach What’s With The Lederhozen? BRAD: Hey Coach what’s with the lederhozen, they’re riding up in the back, They don’t give you very much ball room and starting to pull at your crack, I think they’re not very becoming, you should take them back, For every time you do the dance you start to damage your sack. CREDITS READING Brad and Colin as two plastic surgeons discussing their clients. COLIN: Well I don’t know. BRAD: Look at the size of that Mark Leveson. COLIN: We’re going to have to take Ryan Stiles’ legs off, he’s way too tall! BRAD: Oh far too tall and let’s not start with Richard Osman, he’s a total makeover! COLIN: And Paul Wheeler, we’re going to take one of his Es away so he’s Weller. BRAD: Oh, you know if we shave the N off there, it’ll be Rebecca Alle! COLIN: Oh yeah! And Lorna Fossick, Helen Manley? BRAD: Yeah? COLIN: They both have ears like Dumbo! BRAD: Full Cosby and I don’t even know what that means! COLIN: I don’t think so either! Mike Beale, we’re going to get rid of, and he has an extra E at the end of his name. And Anne Marie Thorogood. BRAD: Too much cologin. COLIN: You’re right and it’s not on her lips! Dean ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message thread: Dean: The missing WLIIA ep (20-Jun-1999 20:05:42) Susan: I see Brad was one of the winners. I couldn't remember when Brad has actually won a game. Is this the first or am I completely wrong?:) (n/t) (20-Jun-1999 20:45:54) Dean: It was the first... but Brad also won a game in the 98 series. Still for someone who has competed 20 times he does have a low win ratio! :) (n/t) (20-Jun-1999 21:23:56) Dean: I have added a percentage of wins stat on my stats page, it shows Brad has the lowest win ratio of anyone to have appeared in 7 or more shows! Re: It was the first... but Brad also won a game in the 98 series. Still for someone who has competed 20 times he does have a low win ratio! :) (20-Jun-1999 22:27:03) Julie: Great ep! Thanks for the transcription, Deano! (n/t) (21-Jun-1999 13:52:48) Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prev Page Next Page Now viewing page 4 of 4 (21-Jun-1999 23:07:51 to 20-Jun-1999 03:47:49) [Image] Message subject: Name: (optional) Email address: (optional) Type your message here: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © ITW Newcorp, Inc. 1997-1999 All rights reserved. [Image] [Image] Whose Board is it, Anyway? I have added a percentage of wins stat on my stats page, it shows Brad has the lowest win ratio of anyone to have appeared in 7 or more shows! Re: It was the first... but Brad also won a game in the 98 series. Still for someone who has competed 20 times he does have a low win ratio! :) Sunday, 20-Jun-1999 22:27:03 209.78.48.145 writes: You can find the page here: http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Stage/2262/stats.html Dean ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message thread: Dean: The missing WLIIA ep (20-Jun-1999 20:05:42) Susan: I see Brad was one of the winners. I couldn't remember when Brad has actually won a game. Is this the first or am I completely wrong?:) (n/t) (20-Jun-1999 20:45:54) Dean: It was the first... but Brad also won a game in the 98 series. Still for someone who has competed 20 times he does have a low win ratio! :) (n/t) (20-Jun-1999 21:23:56) Dean: I have added a percentage of wins stat on my stats page, it shows Brad has the lowest win ratio of anyone to have appeared in 7 or more shows! Re: It was the first... but Brad also won a game in the 98 series. Still for someone who has competed 20 times he does have a low win ratio! :) (20-Jun-1999 22:27:03) Julie: Great ep! Thanks for the transcription, Deano! (n/t) (21-Jun-1999 13:52:48) Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prev Page Next Page Now viewing page 4 of 4 (21-Jun-1999 23:07:51 to 20-Jun-1999 03:47:49) [Image] Message subject: Name: (optional) Email address: (optional) Type your message here: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © ITW Newcorp, Inc. 1997-1999 All rights reserved.