"TO BEER" FINISHES 2ND ***
The following account of Green Week has been compiled from the combined memories of all To Beer members, which totals not much at all. If anything is wrong, exaggerated or just excluded, it is because of beerintoxinalproblemus, and you can get fucked.
OF THE WEEK
GREEN WEEK SPECIAL MENTIONS
THAT FRICKEN LOOKOUT" INCIDENT
WORD OF THE WEEK
OF THE WEEK
POEM OF THE WEEK
TOSSER OF THE
TRIKE RACES - Muzz put in a killer effort in the first heat, but was just beaten by Aaron, the eventual winner. Why we got third place overall, but didn't make it into the final just shows how screwed some of this organising is. Third.
MASTERMINDLESSNESSNESS - This was a crazy, crazy and very pissed nite. Our two tables consisted of a 'smart' table who were actually trying to win, and a 'dumbass' table who were just there to piss on and make noise. The dumbass table was deserted by about 8 o'clock, as the members got lost in various different places. The smart table took to the piss and by half way through realised the we had shit all chance so just bagged the crap out of Farrer.
VB HUNT - Yeah, well we had people running like headless chickens all over campus and we found sweet FA.
IRONGUT - After a contract was written up, Sam agreed to do this event (those 2 bottles of 'something better' are still coming I think..). Sam put in one hell of an effort and managed to finally eat all that shit in about 9 minutes, and was only beaten by one other skanky bitch. Second
ROGAINING - After much psychological counselling (drink run drink run ), Tom bolted around the course, but missed out on the final to Papa Smurf and some shithouse bloke who was crap in the final. Third.
POOL COMP - Need I say more. Shit.
TALENTLESS DANCE CHALLENGE - Yeah well maybe if the DJ had a decent fucking selection of music.
TUG OF WAR - We made it passed a heat or two, but as Paula Jones once said when asked about the similarities between her relationship with Bill, and of Bill & Monica's, "close, but no cigar". Fourth.
BILLY CART - We had our pizzaderessistance that we had made the night before go missing, but was luckily found. Our pit crew was fully equipped to help the slightly disabled driver, and we had our own version of the Finlandia Vodka chicks. After a blitzing heat time, the final was against us and two others. That big fuck from Barbie rammed us into the bin, but we managed to scream around on 3 wheels, regain our dignity (hang on, what fucking dignity ) and come 2nd, and then went on to beat some little motorbike by about a lap. Second(race) + Second(design). The ToBeerMobile Mk II will return next year, bigger, better and with more tinnies.
CENTURION - Tom looked good but slipped off the rails early, before regaining his To Beer traction. (what the fuck??). Anyway, he made it to just past 80 before fucking up. Good effort anyway.
IB - Activities cocked something up (again), so we didn't get a runner.
BOAT RACES - Our team had plenty of potential, but was a little shithouse in the heat. This meant that we came up against those tossers from Farrer in the semi-final. After a killer run which was about 6 seconds faster, we just got beaten by the tossers, who eventually won. Third.
FOURLEGLESSNESSNESS - This was a madcap dash, with Muzz running as a support vehicle the whole way. Luckily no replacement legs were needed and we somehow arsed our way into second spot.
WELL DONE ALL IN TO BEER FOR A FUCKING FANTASTIC SHOWING IN GREEN WEEK, IN BOTH COMPETING AND SUPPORTING. THE RESULT WAS BEYOND OUR WILDEST EXPECTATIONS, AND PROVES THAT WITH A LITTLE ORGANISATION, A BUNCH OF PISSPOTS SUCH AS OURSELVES CAN BE A FORCE TO RECKON WITH IN GREEN WEEK. NOW THAT WE ARE EXPERIENCED, WE WILL RETURN NEXT YEAR, WITH ONLY ONE OBJECTIVE. NO, NOT TO WIN. TO BEAT THOSE TOSSERS IN FARRER. - JONESEEEEEY
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