Smiley, Smiley!

1. A Scotsman and a Jew were arguing over who could make 20p go further. They decided to give it a try and meet up later to compare notes. When they got back together again, the Jew said "Well, I used my 20p to buy 2 cigarettes off a tramp. The first day I smoked one and saved the ashes. The next day I smoked the other and saved the ashes. On third day I ate the cigarette-butts and used the ashes I had saved to fertilise my plants. "Ah, you were robbed,"replied the Scot smugly. "I used my 20p to buy a black pudding from the butcher. The first day I slit open the casing, scooped out half of the pudding and ate it. The second day I scooped out the other half and ate that. The third day I emptied my bowels into the casing and took it back to the butcher and said 'This pudding smells like dog buisness!' He agreed and gave me my 20p back!"


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